Let me out
I'm trapped behind your words
Your lies
They take over everything around me
Is there a way out?
Will you always be there?
Let me out

I can't change who I am
I can't change my disorders
I am me and I can't change that
I have become my disorder
It is all I have left
Just an empty feeling
Lost. Alone.
The anxiety follows everywhere.
The only thing that helps is letting the words out
But there is no one left to listen
They got tired of my problems
They made the feelings reality
I need to change
I need a way out
But I just can't....

I feel more alone when surrounded by people
The movements of a crowd
The chatter of the voices
The thousands of sounds
Bursting through my ears
When it is only me
I have someone
The words
They are always there
Never failing
They listen
They help
Without them, I'm better off dead.

I just want to be like other people.
Scape my knee or fall off a bike.
Bleed on the outside,
Instead of in.
I bleed backwards,
The blood builds up inside.
And I feel like a *** boiling over,
Or a volcano about to erupt.
I wish I could be normal.
Want to do everyday things,
Like go out with friends.
Instead of sit at home by myself.
Alone in my room,
Lights off,
Door shut,
Curtains drawn,
Bleeding backwards...

Because there are no sides and
It doesn't matter what you believe
Or who you are
There is no left or right
We are all feel the same
Maybe a little broken
Or flawed or angry
It is a respite and relief from pain
It is spoken from the soul and to the soul
And it is the only time
That I can be fully human

My imaginary best friend made me cry again tonight
My tears leave stains on my cheekbones
My insides feel weak, and sad
He has an imaginary girlfriend,
Let me feel the pain I caused,  
I promise you,  I remember
New days call for new beginnings
Whatever it takes to find some place to call home

Imaginary.
Made up.
Fake.
These are the words they use to describe you,
the words that rip my heart out.
They say I'm crazy,
for wanting to talk to you,
hold you,
touch you,
feel you,
meet you.
But does that make my feelings any less real than theirs?
Does my love for you make me less of a person,
more of a thought,
an imaginary being myself,
above them,
but not worthy of their time?
Or do they cast me out,
not because they dislike what I am,
but are jealous of what I have,
even when I appear to be alone?