I’m not quite sure what i should do.
I guess I’ll just lay here and wait for a storm
To pick me up and carry me away.
Maybe to the ocean?
We’ll sea.

If I’m drifting around, struggling to coast to a coast.
Will you send me a message in a bottle?
Not a map, just some encouraging words.

If you figure it out, please tell me before you tell everyone.
The weight of the world won’t wait.
An endless possibilty is a constraint.

There might be fire in my dragon eyes,
But it clouds my vision
With the smoke of an abandoned factory.
I’m seeing into the past
With restoration to when we thought this boom would last.
Success did not **** the life out of you,
You spit it out.
Ungrateful.

I said if you figured it out, please tell me before everyone.
That was supposed to be half the fun.
I’m not sure of the shore anymore.

A culinary dance in the kitchen
To the rhythm of the recipe

I want to die
To slit my throat
And end it all

There is nothing left
My life has been shattered
My life is in a heap
Of burning rubble

I want to die
To spare others of my meaningless existence

This tortured soul
Yerns to be freed from
This shell of human skin

I want to die
I feel
Alone
Scared
Depressed
All is dark and dreary

I want to die
It seems
No matter how much I care
Everyone still hates me

I remember the evening
that we sat clinging
to paper cups
of coffee gone cold

over secrets spilled and memories told
two bodies cursed
with hearts grown old

behind your eyes
I found new worlds
A winding road stretched out for miles
to a small cafe at the end of the isle

Sweet pastries filled the mouths
of those who sat beside us
and stayed for a while.

How the hours went by,
people just passing through
The descending sun ending
a forever with you.

I feel so torn
I love them a lot
Except I feel like
I can't love them as freely as I want to
Because they remind me of an ex
I want so desperately to let go of
I want to move on with my life
And to love them entirely for them
Without the ripples of her
Skating across my perception
I feel trapped in my mind sometimes
Living through past memories
That only make me feel sadness now
And I wonder if that closure I seek
Can occur if I can forgive myself
For hurting her so much
How can I take responsibility and
Embrace my faults and mistakes
While also forgiving myself for them?
Forgive myself for hurting her?
Especially after realizing that
My emotional unavailability caused it
And I understand that I must remain compassionate
And I must accept the things I cannot change
It's just hard not to shame myself
When the blame fits so perfectly
In the palms of my hands

It's definitely easier to be creative than constructive.
I can plant the seeds and draw the plans,
But nothing will ever come to fruition.
I'm not a woman of action,
I'm a woman of movement and superstition.

I would press fast forward right about now.
No need to see how this one plays out,
Just to see if it does actually play out.


Funny enough, I've pressed play too many times before I realized I cannot slow this back down.

Peace be what keeps you dead.
Beneath these roots is a land of bone.
Desolate, lost, and never known.
Blossom buried herself in search for earth and church.
A place called heavenly home.
Sweet innocent flower, dont you know?
You're dead to them.
You're dead to thee.
You've been dead for about a century.
You killed yourself that night you thought it be better if you bloomed alone.
What did you think would happen in alley of the shadow of death?
You feared it. You wanted it.
You let it rip you too pieces and now your soul is scattered across the graveyard.
Rest now.
Chaos be what kept you searching.
Pain be what left you dead.
Peace be what keeps you dead.
My beautiful little flower.