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9.5k · Aug 2013
Ode to myself
Jared Eli Aug 2013
Here's an ode to myself, or what I once was
For each day we change and begin
To become different people and it's okay because
Sometimes we need to be different to win

Here's an ode to myself, or what I  won't be
Because I've ventured this path for too long
My eyes closed, I fumbled, and failed to see
All the good deeds in life and the wrong

Here's an ode to myself, for I've never once heard
That it's taboo to talk of one's self
Though truth be told I could use that one word
That I padlocked away on the shelf

Here's an ode to myself, or as much of an ode
That will ever be written to me
For I fear in the future all poems will bode
An ill sort of meaning for me
9.2k · Oct 2013
A sonnet about a panda
Jared Eli Oct 2013
There was a panda in my bed last night
I did not notice while I was asleep
When I awoke the panda screamed in fright
He hit his head and he began to weep
"Oh my dear panda, why are you in tears?
I'm sorry I made you hit your poor head
A panda, that is sad is in my fears
And thusly your sorrow makes my heart lead
The panda arose to glance at the door
Then he ripped the blankets out from my hand
I guess he cared not to talk to me more
So I attempted to await command
But wretched bear took a bite of my spine
And then on my entrails panda did dine
9.1k · Aug 2013
Goodnight
Jared Eli Aug 2013
Goodnight cruel world
Goodnight, goodnight
Sometimes I'd like it if we didn't fight
Maybe you could agree and we'd both be right
But since you insist on this endless plight
Goodnight cruel world
Goodnight, goodnight
Jared Eli Dec 2013
There once was a boy who was but a slender
Line in a portrait or a smudge on a fender
Nothing more than would be passed by your eye
Was the boy so young who did nothing but cry

The world was a cruel one, but he wasn't so tainted
His picture more perfect than of David's statue painted
But the world would soon tear this boy apart
It would end in the mind what began in the heart

You see, innocence thrives where ignorance rules
For blissfulness is the kindest of the ignorant's tools
But this boy would be taught to feel and to hurt
His tears turned to ash as they fall from lips to dirt

He was now cold and ****** and swore
His opinions had changed when his brother died in the war
There was no point to heaven and less point to hell
When they called out your name, you either stood up or fell

Chipped bricks covered in posters past
Graffiti from people of phrases that last
Like one-liners, humourless, gaining a laugh
And the three-word with the sketch of a heart cut in half

The best philosophes of this past generation
Write thoughts on the wall from their closed imagination
And the boy with his eyes red grew darker
As he reached in his pocket and pulled out a marker

With a couple quick slashes a ballot was drawn
And he labeled the man in the voting booth "pawn"
Underneath it he wrote what might be a phrase
That just didn't catch on in those olden days:

It said, "A stone cast down as in defeat
Will hit thine foot before the street
For he who gives up his voting right
Will have no say in where we fight."

The boy capped the pen and he walked away
He had written down all that he wanted to say
His hands now were smudged from the marks on the wall
And he thought to himself, "In short time, it'll fall"

Right around the corner he was halted by the law
"You thought no one was watching, but guess what, kid? I saw.
The truth is, you're right, we vote for our wars
But the man up on top of the nation? He's yours."

The boy smiled slightly, for this cop was wrong
And he reached deep past the tears in himself to be strong
"That man isn't mine; he approved of this war
And congress has made my brother break the oath that he swore"

The cop looked at boy and the boy at the cop
They weren't talking graffiti, but the man up on top
Two strangers, two people, agreeing the fact
That the choice on the ballot was a serious act

"Most kids don't realize just what a vote can mean
They don't attribute the choice to the step in between
Old ideas corrupted or improved upon
All they know is their voice can make the other guy gone"

The boy nodded and looked the cop right in the eye
Saying, "This president let my brother ship out to die
If you try to make us think that his empathy wasn't fake
Contradiction in contrite diction will no conviction make

"You can't justify death because the harder you try
The more your arguments fade like the clouds in the sky
But before they dissolve and assimilate with the air
They leave behind pain to show that they were there"

The cop nodded, waved, and went back to the beat
More hoodlums and lost souls to help off the street
He passed a dark alley and his instincts erupted
His mind yelling to him, "Check for something corrupted!"

So he turned down in darkness to check out the spot
It looked like a place where blackmarket is hot
The fungus and mold that once grew peeled off
Leaving yellowish stains and the urge to cough

A voice near the brickwork called out saying, "Hey,"
"If it's not to much trouble, mister, couldja stay?
See honest to goodness, mister, I tried to stay clean
But when you take your own product, separation is mean"

"I don't know exactly who is to blame"
Said cop to the girl he could see but not name
"There's no one to blame," said the girl to the man
"There's things that will happen, and with time they all can

"For a creature that thrives on flesh alone
Will bite through the skin to steal the bone
And he must be careful, lest he find
That he's been feasting upon his own behind"

"Yes, sometimes it's true: Desire drives us too fast
Sometimes to places where sanity's long since passed
But sanity's fleeting and must be sought after
Come; let me find you some lodgings and laughter"

"No, mister! I'm a lost cause, my fate's without hope!
Permit me now to symbolize: I'm at the end of my rope!"
"Now miss don't you think like that, No one's soldered to their fate
Such thinking will confine you like a cage with bitter bait!"

This world's harsh and confusing and you've had the short stick
But don't let hopelessness be the only thing that's gonna make you tick
Like treading water in the ocean, panic makes you die
Find beauty out of terror, spread your arms and fly!"

The girl sat there blinking. She'd never heard such talk
She'd never been another thought on anybody's walk
"Now let me tell you, I'm not short on self doubt
But I've got to say: that's not what it's all about

See I met this boy earlier, who told me his story
About how the status of the world often makes him worry
This boy's actin' out, but he'll turn out just fine
But if you're giving up hope, then you're crossing the line

Because we've never needed Merry Men and Robin Hood
To stand up at bugle-call to turn the world good
We just need to remember: We're in it forever!
Fight the urge to look upward and shout angrily, 'Never!'

The world, good and bad, is mixed unto itself
And you can't take you your recipe book from the shelf
And add pinches of falsehoods like seasonings for a mask
You must fix it internally, for that is your task

See, though you've given up, that's something I just won't allow
You're gonna go out and fix it, let somebody show you how
Because there's more than one way to a proper conclusion
Some ways are hard and still others illusion

But become obsessed with the truth, with doin' things right
Become a shining green beacon to lead others at night
Promise me, here and now, in this alley proclaim!
That you will set forth and make good of your name."

The girl gently nodded and as time's hands were wound
She grew like a flower from that dank piece of ground
It's the tiny conversations that can so alter life
And cut the crust of complication like a peace-bringing knife

The boy with his brother who'd gone up in the fight
Was just like the cop said: he turned out alright
He put his mind to better things, gave up the childish art
And in the realm of history, his bio did its part

Because he realized how tangible the change he wanted was
He set aside resentments as the true reformer does
He spoke of love, acceptance. . . And then switched to compromise
Because when you're just a visionary, the vision always dies

He used the good and bad to weld a better, stronger, net
To catch the lost and lonely, his was the best support to get
He filled the heads of others with the change that he once viewed
And little inch by little inch corruption and violence met with feud

A verbal dispute filled with picketing people
Who shouted, "Change!" from their electronic steeple
And the media members had themselves a field day
As they caught on the camera what the boy had to say:

"Too often we forget, that apathy isn't peace
But we allow ourselves to be served it by the leaders filled with grease
And we skip along, ignoring things that should rightly upset us
Bombs abroad are wholly fine but not the one that's gonna get us

We've got to think of the whole picture, got to figure out the puzzle
Though you think the lion's fierce, it always has time to nuzzle
So let's switch the view and take on that trait
And put aside the thought that nuzzling can wait."

The cop saw the boy who was on T.V.
And said to himself, "that kid talked to me!
He smiled a bit, "his speech is pleasing as a wren
And in the case of my boasting, I'll say I knew him when!"

The girl wasn't taped, but she was out changing lives
By having conversations that we've likened to knives
And so it was when time was up on the impending revolution
Armed with words she voyaged forth to fufill her resolution

The boy and she stood side by side and led the people on
And using power words of choice, the old regime was gone
What started out as compromise, effloresced to peace and love
And the cop the two had talked to nodded at boy and girl above

A change in heart, a change in mind, can spark a worldly change
Though originality is difficult, ideas can rearrange
To fit the modern times, and indeed to mold it best
And the answer's sometimes difficult, but as we all know: life's a test

This boy and girl were lost, then found, and so was their whole world
And their string of conversations were around their finger curled
Reminding them that there was out there a better way to live
And revolution was the message that the cop had had to give
Jared Eli Apr 2013
I'm sorry, my sweet
But the dolphins don't swim anymore
They just float on the surface
Of the cruel, tempting ocean
And wait for the waves to move them

Oh, no! They aren't dead!
Don't be absurd
They're just lethargic
Atrophied
And gathering ocean dust
Since Ahab drowned
I know dolphins aren't whales, but I think I will tell this to small children I see at the beach...
Jared Eli Sep 2013
Beauty pageant queen
Had a sad, sad life
All her mother wanted
Was to live vicariously
Through a beautiful daughter
All her daughter wanted
Was a mother who loved her for who she was
And didn't care that she was lesbian
But her mother beat her until she submitted
Her will and her life
With words and insults
Thrown as spears into the heart of the innocent child
The beauty pageant queen walked the steps confidently
Ready to reap the greatest reward she had never known:
Freedom
And as her mother read the note
And as her feet swung inches from her mother's grieving head
And as the coroner's men came and took her away
And as the nation was thrown into an uproar over a woman they never knew
And as the people in the streets pointed fingers and called the queen a *****
And as her father heard the news in his second house with his new wife
And as the homeless man she was kind to on the corner took his grubby hat off in mourning
And as the press went wild and blew everything out of proportion and dehumanized her pain
The queen didn't care because she was free from the world
Because she was away from the pain
Because she was exposed for what she was
Because she was dead
And she didn't much care about anything
Not anymore
3.3k · Nov 2013
Fly close, hummingbird
Jared Eli Nov 2013
Fly close, hummingbird
Let me see your wings
Tell me of your food of choice
Tell me of sweet things

Fly low, hummingbird
For if you fly too high
Your wings of waxy origin
Bequeathed thee might make you die

Fly round, hummingbird
Please circle round my head
And only land upon my shoulder
If I'm soon to be dead

So fly close, hummingbird
Let me see your wings
And tell me all your secrets
So I may join the cloudy kings
Jared Eli Oct 2013
They said that I could be whatever my heart desired
But I don't know what I want; All I know is that I'm tired
The world's too big for someone like me
The world's too small to fit people comfortably
The cities are jam-packed and all of the bodies
Are writhing and bending like awkward pilates
But the abs don't develop, the friendship's avoided
The only way to the top is to blood dope and 'roid it
There's no one that smiles as I climb on the train
And true, my own smile I made plans to retain
But maybe that's it! We've got a vicious rotation
Of these serious faces, a shy person's vocation
"Put up the wall!" cries the brain in a fright
The same little voice that grabs the wall switch at night
So let's bring them all out of the hand-painted shell
That covers them up and locks them in so well
But back to the start, I don't know what I'll be
And it's so hard to think with these people around me
They crowd up the alleys, the houses, the street
And it's funny, two strangers with same routes don't meet
We wrap ourselves up with the survival of the day
And we become more robotic as our humanity slips away
We entertain the thought that we're cognitively higher
And we've been doing that since Prometheus stole the fire
We've got all our gadgets ideas and tools
And we set codes of standards and morality rules
Sure maybe we're self-governing and make our own laws
But how does this make us above those with paws?
Are we wholly smarter by gift of this tech?
Because it seems to me that the world is a wreck
We took over the planet with ignorant spreading
Closer and closer the moment we've been dreading
Is nearing the Earth through the vast population
We're nearing the point where we'll need a space station
To hold all the people, too eager to quit it
To keep it in your pants, think before you hit it

To keep our races intact, to ensure man's survival
We're our very best customer and salesman and rival
"Help yourself and I'll be right along"
Is the tired old phrase, the motivation song
And some things you can change and fix with a thought
But the number of things that need more? Quite a lot
You can't save a nation just by a mental notion
There's no telepathic messenger who will fly across the ocean
On the wings and dreams of the oldest dragon
Whilst carrying the remedy in a silver flagon
There's no Wish Police who will answer your calls
And pull down their Fix-it Guns from the racks in the halls
So to move a nation, you might think it funny
But the thing that speaks to all is valid currency: money
To make all the changes you wished up in there
You've got to pull out the cash and flip back your hair
Make a statement that sure, you've no clue what you're doing
But you're willing to try, and while politicians sit stewing
Over who voted how and which bill not to pass
"The elephant says yea; Let's legalize grass!"
None of that matters if you get full support
And when you work for the world, who takes you to court?
So I guess the whole point, the big picture theme
Is that changing the world will take more than a meme
It involves more than **** and ******* and wines
It's more than those selfies and twerking and vines
It's more than that petty stuff you find so amusing
The internet was information, but you all are abusing
You muddle up facts with your silly fan fiction
U and I are ovr because you've bastardized the diction
The syntax is wrong, there are so many errors
These are but one of the grammatical terrors
That plague the nation, plague the world
The torch is passed and the baton twirled
The next generation knows no better
Than to follow our actions to the letter
What can they change when we've taken it all
And compacted it down to six summer weeks small
The information they're using is paraphrased
And the original sources have been erased
To make more room in the data banks
For storing the info on nukes and rebel tanks
Let's all converse and stop these risk stunts
Grab the bat from the player; "Take a risk, not a bunt!"
Change to the world has got to be swift and loud
Stop mumbling ideas when you can shout at the clouds
Let loose the brain you've kept locked away
And shout at the world; let them hear you today
What will I be? Well, I've got to make dough
To make waves in the world and change it, you know
I'll do what I can, within moral reason
To gain leverage on everything and it might become treason
To fix the whole world using ideas and cash
But I'd much rather my back feel the sting of the lash
Than condemn my mind to the essential lobotomy
My only medical surrender will be to phlebotomy
So take out my blood and my money too
If the world's gonna change, I've got to learn to trust you
That will be our base, our motto and creed
To strive for the change fueled by trust, not by greed
Jared Eli Dec 2013
They say when water drops hit your head
They help to inspire thoughts
I suppose that's why
When I took a shower
I found myself thinking about her
About how she makes me feel
I stood there, letting
The steaming drops
That had once been the tears of clouds
Bring me back to such great heights
To every cliché that falls under the category
Of that one, single deadly word
The balloon inflates
I fly away
And I'm trying to convey the feeling
By making senseless analogies
About the barter system

"Imagine a time before we got rid of
The barter system
Imagine the biggest herd
Of livestock
Every single cow in the world
All compiled together
Imagine all those potential burgers
And the sheer size of
That herd
And that is about a fraction
Of what I feel"

The Brother's Grimm had a statement
About how much infinity is
They spoke of an enormous mountain
Made entirely of glass
And that every hundred years
A hummingbird would
Sharpen its beak
Against the mountain
And when the mountain had finally
Been whittled away to nothing
The first second in infinity
Had passed

If I could make an analogy
Equivocal to that
To describe how she makes me feel
I would
The closest I got was the cows

I can't aim when I kiss her
And I can't stop smiling
For very long
And I can't help giggling
When she raises her eyebrows
In that adorable way of hers

I used to be satisfied
With not feeling terrible
My scale of happiness
Stopped at ten
And ten was labeled
"Not terrible"
But now, I realize
That there is a whole universe
Of happiness
Beyond ten

It's like being shown
How to fly
You never believe it until it's happening
And your arms are outspread
And behind them, sprouted from your shoulders
Are your wings, pumping away
Pushing the air back toward Earth
Pummeling gravity in a defiance
That only flying can

And it doesn't matter about the end
If it ends well, if it ends terribly
It doesn't matter
Because I have been shown
The other side of
"Not terrible"
I have something, if nothing else
To believe
A big scary word
A big cliché
A belief worthy of Westley
Is worthy of me
Because she. . .
She is worth being treated
Like Buttercup

The one phrase that broke my heart
Could very well break it again
But if it does, I can always mend it
"I can live without love"
It gets me every time
But I can stitch every cut
Can overlook every scar
That shows up on my heart
Suture self, and I can

She has lifted me up to such great heights
And I'll inadvertently do what Billy Joel says
And tell her about it
Because the least I can do
For the woman who has opened my eyes
Has enlarged my heart
Has befuddled my mind
Has ******* my tongue
Is let her know
Just how spectacular she makes me feel

The steam continues
Long after the drops are gone
And lingering with the steam
Is a giant smile
The like of which
Only she can bring
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gKAPXfYSHxw
Jared Eli Oct 2013
Get out of my heart
Get out of my head
You're not what you thought you were once
And even then you weren't that
Beauty is within
And without
And you're rotting
Rotting from your exterior to
Your core
You are a rotten apple, not a bad seed
Do you know how much sewage water it takes
To contaminate a glass of drinking water?
A drop
You're a gallon, baby
A gallon of sewage
Tons of nasty
Packed into eight ounces
Of Falsehood
So keep faking
Maybe someday, you'll find soemone else
Some other idiot who, like you, has no respect
For themselves
Or others
Or society
Or humanity
Or progress
So keep up your act
Act well your role
For you are our ***** STD
The thing we never want to hear about
But that reminds us of how much
We want better for ourselves
2.4k · Sep 2013
Virtual things to give
Jared Eli Sep 2013
I will give you a virtual kiss
Virtual kiss
And a virtual hug
virtual hug
I just can't give you
A virtual me
2.4k · Aug 2013
I bribed the ferryman
Jared Eli Aug 2013
I just bribed the ferryman, oh yes, I bribed him well
Don't matter how much mischief because we're both headed to hell
I bribed the man to take some time to tell me of his life
He told me of the way he takes the coinage for his wife
He told me he writes poetry, but only in his head
He wrote some lovely lullabies (and love songs for the dead)
The man is quite a cook and made some killer Wonton soup
Then he told me of his wish to make a knit and crochet group
The ferryman that took the ****** seemed like a really awesome guy
And it almost made it worth it that I had had to die
Jared Eli Aug 2013
I was born on a leap year
Right before the Millenium
A family of five in Mexico were stabbed
Six days before I arrived
And in the same month
(But half the days)
That Rusty won the first NASCAR race
In Japan

Call me a Scorpio, I don't mind
I was born in the year of the rat
And the zodiac says that fire's my element
But I always liked my time spent in water

Pearl is to the ancients
What Topaz is today
Though neither value much
To the people on the Boeing 747
Or the Ilyushin Il-76 cargo plane
That killed 349 people
With the force of their collision

When you look up the day
That I came to be known
As another member of the living
They'll tell you all about the fatal, terrible crash
That I was too young to remember or even witness

Being born in the '90's earns me
No extra respect
No reverent awe
No special treatment
I was born too late for the long-haired peace
Disco and drugs
A John Hughes-like high school
And only my parents got away with
Sweat pants and leg warmers
Or turtleneck sweaters

I am just another 96 baby
But they don't make them like us
Anymore
1.9k · Dec 2012
Santa's on the Corner
Jared Eli Dec 2012
Santa's on the corner, ringing the brass bell
Roast is in the oven and a family starts to yell
Snow is lightly falling, like sugar-dusting for a cake
People wrapping and re-gifting someone's small mistake
Counting hours, filling glasses, mirth is overflowing
Fixing up the house's lights, now it's really snowing!
Adding up expenses and then checking inventory
Reading as the children watch their favorite Christmas story
Snuggled up or stretching out, reclaiming lost couch space
Sliding under mistletoe, caressing lover's face
Living in this moment, drinking it all in
Trying to remember just what a year it's been
Jared Eli Nov 2013
Santa was a hit man and he had no alibi
His big red suit was drenched in blood, more vibrant than a dye
See, Mrs. Clause was KGB, and the North Pole was her base
And Santa was the corporate shell that really owned the place
The "elves" were political prisoners (and yes, some were rather short)
And the present-giving Christmas was the day Clause would report
But when the Union went away, there was no need for Clauses
And they ripped up the whole contract (not covered in Incidental Causes)
Mrs. Clause got into drinking, and it got worse everyday
'Till it happened: she was so drunk, she keeled over in the hay
They found her the next morning with a reindeer on her head
Santa knew before the med report that Mrs. Clause was dead
So he went back to the basics, and he hooked into Network 1
The most top secret channel where certain agents have their fun
He was lost without his partner (their marriage was arranged)
She had handled the business,his financial sense was left estranged
He knew without her, he'd go under; have to sell the Pole to the West
He needed to make the payments by doing just what he knew best
Santa filled the role of assassin, killing silently with grace
He laid a finger beside his nose before he shoved the gun up in your face
Making the hits look unconnected, well he varied up his style
In fact he was thinking of being a "serial killer" and followed that up for a little while
But his stealing milk and cookies didn't clue anybody in
Maybe it just wasn't plausible to blame the fat man and his grin
Whatever the case, he's a random killer who strikes with impunity
With a swish of his coat, he jumps roof to roof, flaunting his immunity
Jared Eli Sep 2013
I can't say that I know what it's like
To lose someone
And it's not because I have never experienced death

My Great Aunt died of lung cancer
Though she never smoked
And was the nicest lady
With what I assumed
Was a New York accent
To ever be convinced that I loved
Her Spinach Frittata
And who indirectly
Made jokes about my insatiable desire
To consume the apple pie

She died on the tenth of october in the year two-thousand ten
(10/10/10)
And I remember my father calling me to the kitchen
To tell me the news
I cried a little
And went back to my room to write angry poetry
But ultimately I was just tired
And went to sleep
Without really adressing anything

At her funeral, I remember my cousin telling me
The story of how her (then) long-term boyfriend
Used wire cutters to remove his braces
A week before they were due to come off
They called me over to put a shovelful of dirt
Into the grave
And I did
Then ran back, jumping as I did (jumping as I did),
To my cousin
Because her candid attitude let me know that it was ok
Not to be somber

My dad's friend had a stroke which dislodged blood clots and sent him
Into a coma for a long time
And while we posed with him for Christmas pictures
(I hated posing, I hated the picture-taking, I hated smiling, it all felt wrong)
And my father promised that hypnosis was going to work
My dad's friend died
In a hospital bed
In his home
In a historical region of uptown Whittier
My dad lost his friend
My mom lost hers as well
When she stopped talking to his wife
Who had been her friend first

The cousin who was talking to me at the funeral
Lost her (then) boyfriend
When she woke up one morning
To find him dead with her
In bed

So I can't say that I know what it's like
Because I have lost people
I've seen death
And I dislike it
I dislike the thought that all my
Teachers will die before me
And I am sad thinking about those days
That I will be in the crowd
One of the Touched

I dislike that I don't know what it's like
Because I don't see it like the others
I try to remember beauty in their life
Beauty that they shared with me
Beauty that I will keep alive
Like the energy cell
The Doctor blew life into
To power the TARDIS

But if I can't find it
If there was nothing we shared
If there is nothing to tie me to them
I feel bad that someone else feels bad
I dislike their pain and
I wish I could give them a hug
And that the hug would fix everything
But it won't
And all I can do is think about
How much I ****
At comforting grievers
And how much I wish
I could be a better comforter
But I'm not
Because I don't do well with death
Jared Eli Sep 2013
I'm not sure you understand
Just exactly how I work
I'm not normal
But then, who is?
So let's put formality aside
Have at me, uncertified surgeon!
Let your knives peel back my skin!
Use your blades to cut the organs
So you'll see the stuff within
In my heart is the place where I keep the love
Protected from fiends who like vultures above
Wouldst dare to steal my sacred store
That will deplete forevermore
My liver is a strange one, and yet
You'd know what goes inside, I'd bet
Therein lies all the things I hate
Filtered from life and made to wait
Inside the liver, oh so dense
To keep the hate from the present tense
To keep it all just locked away
So I can try to be okay
Then in my lungs is icy air
That I breathed in, frozen, from your cold stare
I thought you were jesting your eyes must be wrong
But it turns out you meant it like that one Beatles' song
Because I truly did not realize
As I gazed deep into your eyes
Into the soul that just days before
You swore was mine, threw open doors
Your eyes this time would shut me out
What was this alienation about?
But I guess you just snapped and all loving stopped
You were still sane, but your toleration popped
Which is totally fine and I have no problem knowing
That these fractures and breaks had slowly been growing
But I thought if we tended the garden of love
And forgot all the issues I alluded above
That we'd be fine and could just carrry on
And though I still believed that you went and you're gone
So again, I say unto you, uncertified surgeon!
Cut deep into me and pull out my soul
My heart's been ripped out, why not seal the deal
*Tear out my soul with a smile and a flick
And stitch me back up with the thread of past wrongs
That each day I might look down and see
That what was done was done by me
This italicized portion I may steal and use somewhere else
Perhaps in a better poem
1.7k · Dec 2012
Second Best
Jared Eli Dec 2012
Second Best is hard to be
Second Best is lame
Second Best has come to be
My other middle name
Jared Eli Sep 2013
I never have felt the pain of a sunrise
Or the sad sad feeling
Of the birth of a child
I haven't seen the sorry image
Of an old couple
Holding hands
I haven't tasted the agony
Of a fresh-baked
Chocolate chip cookie
I haven't seen or felt or tasted any of these things
Because beauty is everwhere
Filling up the world
With all its beautiful things
And making me feel
Amazing

What the ****, Beauty?
1.7k · Apr 2013
Florence Nightingale
Jared Eli Apr 2013
Little Florence, nightingale,
Spread your wings and let me see
How you float above the sea
On your handcrafted, flight-sustaining
Self-containing
Instruments
Of self-inflicted repression.
Let me see you fly above,
Wounding all you think you love
With self-obsessed dependency
The need to be
Protector with your poisoned shield
Of selfish "good intentions."
Little Florence, little bird,
Though you think my words absurd,
Spread your wings and show to me
All you wished and hoped I'd be
When you shattered both my legs
1.7k · Aug 2013
Cigar
Jared Eli Aug 2013
I've got the taste of a free cigar
On my tongue
I love the taste but I feel disgusting
When you lean in for a kiss
It's not you; it's my filthy cigar-flavored, lie-infested mouth
I love you doll, but no kisses tonight
1.7k · Oct 2013
Cocaine
Jared Eli Oct 2013
I can't say just how long it's been
Since I pinched down one nostril and sniffed that stuff in
Gave myself over to the sugar of sin
Then repeated the other side so my head would spin

Maybe it's been a year and a half
But I'm starting to shake with the force of my laugh
And I can't control the twitching of my calf
It's like the boss on my neck is missing staff

The lights are much brighter and the sounds smell great
It was like this the first time in 2008
Someone'll bring ***** but I just can't wait
Now I'm off to find coke, tonight, my only date
1.6k · Aug 2013
I have a voice
Jared Eli Aug 2013
I have a voice behind this tongue
But it's shy and clumsy
My voice will hide behind my tongue
And trip itself to bits

My voice it rides the waves of rhythm
Gently up, and coasts back down
But when my tongue breaks waves of rhythm
My voice hides in the sand

My voice is flawed but perfect, when
My tongue gets in the way
And though I know what to say then
My voice just cannot say

My tongue, my enemy, my slippery friend
That causes my speech to basically end
On the most awkward of notes, and that's how he wins
When I cannot speak, he just sits back and grins
1.6k · Dec 2013
The sky's disappointment
Jared Eli Dec 2013
The sky looked down on me
It was ashamed
I was blinded by
My emotions
And could not look past
The smog
To see
Every
Single
Star
"I tried!"
I yell at the sky
The sky does not care
Failure is unacceptable
And the sky wraps around me
Surrounds me
And grounds me to a single point
The vertex of infinity
Where it feels strange to be
Alive
I step out of my body
And into nothing
And the nothing steps back into me
Like a great cascade of cold and blackness
I am replaced with emptiness
And my body flees
I am left
Standing alone in the field of memory
I see everything that can be
That will be
That has been
That is
That mustn't be
I am shown the truth
The truth that inscribed unto every grain of sand
Is all of time and space
That the faces of all the people of your past
Can be found
Within the skin of an acorn
That all the things you will accomplish
Are written as a list
On the tip of a needle
I am shown that everything
Runs on a universal code
That everything
Can be
And will be
Written over
By whomever holds the marker
I walk through the field mildly
Paying strict attention at first
Noting the worst
And the best
Of memories
But then I freeze
And fall to my knees
Because I see
I see what I have searched for for so long
The memory of me
It is marked with charcoal
Edges smudged
On the corner of a
Small
Gray
Rock
And I know
That it is because I have not
Seized the day
I have not stopped and smelled the flowers
Nor brushed past them on a mission
I have simply been
And been content with simply being
And my memory in the grand scheme
Would fade as easily as a page
Let burn
I grabbed a chisel that was strength
And a hammer that was conviction
And I carved my memory unto
The largest boulder there was
And when I threw down the bottle
With its rag halfway reaching for the flame
And halfway hiding in the kerosene
And it smashed on the field
Everything burned
Everything was erased
Except for my memory
Carved on the largest boulder
And the sky smiled
For it knew that I had now realized
The true nature of its
Disappointment
Come, child
I must take you home
There is much to do
"You're ****** right there is"
1.5k · Mar 2014
You can't reason with chaos
Jared Eli Mar 2014
Sitting in my skyscraper
Watching the world burn
Just sitting here, untouched
On the flaming globe I earned

I sit back in my skyscraper
Pull the blinds and shut my eyes
I think of what is left
In the world that I despise

Oh, yes! The flames are coming
Reaching far and wide
And they're faster and they're hotter
Than your mail-order bride
Oh, yes! The flames are coming
Taller than you'd think
And they'll burn you to a golden crisp
Before you've time to blink

High up in my skyscraper
I know the outcome’s wrong
And it never would’ve come to this
If the world all got along

I know I’ve earned this skyscraper
Because it’s the slowest death
Yes, I’ve earned the prolonged agony
And I’ll wait for my last breath

Oh, yes! The flames are coming
Reaching far and wide
And they're faster and they're hotter
Than your mail-order bride
Oh, yes! The flames are coming
Taller than you'd think
And they'll burn you to a golden crisp
Before you've time to blink

Sitting in my skyscraper
Watching as I burn
I sit here as I’m touched
By the flaming death I’ve earned

The flames consume my skyscraper
I’m falling from the skies
And I’m all that is left
In the world that I despise

Oh, yes! The flames are coming
Reaching far and wide
And they're faster and they're hotter
Than your mail-order bride
Oh, yes! The flames are coming
Taller than you'd think
And they'll burn you to a golden crisp
Before you've time to blink
1.5k · Apr 2013
Jekyll
Jared Eli Apr 2013
It's okay, Dr. Jekyll
We all are slightly strange
Some of us are stranger than the rest
I'm sure you've seen the strangest kind
While dressed as Mr. Hyde
I tell you, that man is bad company
Don't keep him around
Value your innocence and smile
Smile, Dr. Jekyll
At the commonplace items
Like candles and spoons
Let the world smile back
And share in your peace
1.5k · Oct 2013
Petty, petty problems
Jared Eli Oct 2013
Petty problems intoxicate
Liberate inebriate
All I have are petty problems
And the petty people
Who began them

But let's not point the finger
Let's not draw comparisons
Let's not do these things
That make me realize
How senseless
These issues are

Because without the issues
Without the conflict
Where can the ****** be?
The exposition
That shows nothing
What point does it all have?

Give me a reason
A flow to my story
Even if it is petty
Just let me have it
The reason moves me
More than the pettiness
Disappoints me
Jared Eli Sep 2013
Joey Comeau
Writes things I sometimes don't understand
They're like little bones in a tiny
Bat skeleton
I don't know what they mean
Or what they do
Or how they fit in the whole scheme of things
But they make me feel powerful
And that's mostly good

Joey writes sentences that start with
"I want to"
And end with things like
"Break into an old lady's house and tell her I am the FBI"
He writes sentences that make me think
Of all the things I want to do
I want to crash my private helicopter
Into the side of a mountain
But escape just in time
I want to write like Joey
Simple sentences that hold the world in their hands
And crush it a little
Just because

Stephen King
Writes books that sometimes scare me
Right back to the second trimester
Right back to fetal position in the womb
But he tells the stories so well
The actions are so true
I believe them all
And I know I'd never be the hero in a horror story
(I'll be dead in the first twenty minutes of the film)
But I get excited at the prospect of reading
Because it requires less running on my part

Stephen wrote of his drug addiction
And his mom's cancer
And his ****** jobs
And his alcoholism
And his multiple failures before his success
And his loving wife
And it made me think
That even though I'm an itty bitty little person
With but one life to give for this universe
Maybe, just maybe
I can make it
In some scheme of things
1.5k · Feb 2014
Untitled
Jared Eli Feb 2014
The winds of change blow the sands of time
In such a violent manner
They erode and smooth the scars
Left by careless pasts
Then cut deeper in new ways
New areas to be scarred
Like the 3-D mural of the
Grand Canyon, tattooed on my good friend's
Arm, which continually spat
The Colorado River as the tattooed member
Rested against the cold tile, draping over the
Side of the tub
The place my good friend gave up material want
For the spiritual punishment which she so believed in
And the winds of change blew the sands of time
Like a pumice stone scraping away
So-called offensive skin
As if an apology for being human
Acting as a cyclist backpedalling
To deny the cemented fact of what was done
1.5k · Sep 2013
a pig's anus
Jared Eli Sep 2013
I wonder what it's like in the ****
Of a pig
I think I will live there when I'm old
Because no one will look for me there
1.4k · Oct 2012
Wish I were a satellite
Jared Eli Oct 2012
Wish I were a satellite
To send my cares away
Spot them as I’m coming down
And vanish with the day

Wish I were a lightning storm
With color, light, and cloud
Silently define the night
Or shout my presence loud

Wish I were a butterfly
Caught in a hurricane
Ripped apart with regal force
Accentuating pain

Wish I were a grain of sand
By ocean, lake, or bay
Caught within a gentle wave
And slowly float away
1.4k · Oct 2013
Obsessed
Jared Eli Oct 2013
I'm obsessed with the vision's edge
How we look straight but there's always a sideview
Looking right through
The glass of a picture frame
The image splattered my name
On every newspaper, a cheap kind of fame
The sideview shows the real me
The kind of person who I'd be
If I'd sent this body out to sea
In that funeral pyre blazing to the sky
Mom and Dad think that I'm too young to die
But you're never too young to be that one guy
Your friends see on the tv with a nice little snippet
Of how you hated your thread so you got up and clipped it
But your parents will talk to the reporters and flip it
Say you were so great, so happy and nice
Always the one to give the good advice
The one crossing the street as you looked both ways twice
And the truth is you were already cold as ice
You tried to cry out but they nodded with grins
And they looked at you pondering and stroking their chins
And in this situation there's no one that wins
Because there's always a bridge or a cliff to jump off
When the stress level rises set off by a cough
Or you just up and choose to dive into the trough
And get eaten by pigs, digit by digit
And since you don't give a ****, you don't even fidget
When they bite off your legs and leave you a ******
But size doesn't matter, you're dead in a few
And it's not as if you have to choose what to do
In the end your fate is just pay per view
Because you'll be there, it's you that is dying
But the life negation requires none of your trying
So you can sit back relax and just watch it
There's more than one way so it's hard to botch it
Your death is the end, because there's nothing else to it
You once had a life but you up and you blew it
There was **** to be done but you just said "***** it"
And it's true, it's your life, and you have control
But before you eat lead, put the thought on parole
Give yourself minutes or days to rethink
A miscalculation of that size would stink
Set up some goals, some silly, some not
Of things to accomplish before you hit the black cot
Where they stick all the toe-tagged
The black-bagged
The life-gagged
The death-filled
The over-pilled
All those singing from their throats
Bleeding like goats
From the knife wounds like Abraham
Would've done in just seconds, ****
But the voiceless have no spokesman saying
"Hey world, there was no point in staying!"
There's always a point, and you've just got to find it
Once you do, wrap your mind and bind it
Obsess yourself with the point of staying
Remember the steepest price you'll be paying
Sometime in the future, but now be braying
The call of the stubborn, those that won't leave
The ******* with something in which to believe
I'm one of those ******* and we need more members
To warm up the cold of Depression Decembers
Obsessing about the vision's edge
The only thing that kept me on the safe side of the ledge
When I was seconds from falling down
The sideview turned my *** around
Gotta find the source of the curious periphery
Curiousity killed the cat, but the sideview saved me
Jared Eli Dec 2013
I think I shall very much have to fight the desire
To kiss you any time
You say something remotely interesting.
Which will probably happen
More oft than not
Jared Eli Sep 2013
I hold a secret deep inside
(no, not syphilis)
I thought it might be false
But it's true and not a lie at all
And this causes a problem
So listen up and listen well
Just ignore all the signs you see
Because they'll lead you wrong
Just promise to try
Try and avoid the secret
Because it is a problem
If you would read its lore
1.3k · Dec 2012
Shoulder
Jared Eli Dec 2012
You scored my heart with your fire and flames
They lapped at the muscle inscribing their names:
Beauty and Intellect, so **** and smart
Warping my mind like contemporary art
You know all the words that make me clench fists
You tease and you promise and handcuff my wrists
I smile when I see you and frown when you leave
And you leave me wanting so much to believe
That I'm not just a fling, just another guy
A portable shoulder for tears when you cry
I've been there before, and it's happening still
If you want me to do that, then I certainly will
But when you whisper so sweetly those things in the night
Sighing my name, saying, "This is so right"
I can't help but think that it means so much more
Than a shoulder to help your eyes even the score
1.3k · Sep 2013
Magic through self-discovery
Jared Eli Sep 2013
Po is the kung fu master
He looked up to
Through a path
Of training and self-discovery
Maybe I
Can be
The magic I look up to
Through a path
Of training and self-discovery
And inspiration
And maybe just a touch
Of pixie dust
Jared Eli Nov 2013
If wishes were fishes, I'd have a whole net
Of fanciful things that I'd likely not get
If wishes were stars, when I'd look in the sky
I'd see thousands of you, all shooting by
If wishes were teardrops, then each night in bed
I'd have streams of you gathered by my head
If wishes were rainbows, then after each rain
The image of you the sky would retain
If wishes were fishes, then by god I'll try hard
To have you as mine, to love, hold, and guard
Jared Eli Oct 2013
She's wearing these long, bright red rainboots
On the sunniest of days
As if she's afraid that if she doesn't
She'll fade away and disappear forever
"You won't!" I want to shout to her
"You'll never fade away
Because you are the most beautiful thing
That has ever been permitted to stay in this world
To pass before my eyes
To smile... perhaps in my general direction..."
But she doesn't hear me
She is lost in her own analysis
Of the shifting clouds
The little whisps of whimsical water vapors
I see her spin slightly
Gazing up at their shapeless shapes
Her lips mouthing words that I cannot hear
For I am a coward and do not approach
O, What I would give to speak with her
For even the most slight of seconds
About even the most trivial thing in the universe
But alas, it was not meant to be
I walk slowly down the street
Past the cacophonous roaring of
The motor cars
As unflattering as they are to the ear
So she is beautiful
I arrive at the corner
The smell of tar and gasoline rise
From the steaming asphalt
I turn
And she is there
She is there and she is sitting
She is sitting on her bike right there
She is on her bike and I see her as I turn
"Hello" she says
She smiles as she says hello
I search for the words
To tell her how
She has owned my heart
Since the moment I laid eyes on her
"Ayeii" I say as the light changes
She giggles and rides away
"Hello I love you"
But it's too late
She can't hear me
I walk across the intersection
And continue my long walk back home
Filled with the hope that maybe it will happen again
Maybe I'll see her again
Maybe...
1.2k · Aug 2013
A hat
Jared Eli Aug 2013
A hat was blowing down the street today
And I gave it a kick
It tumbled this way and that
Until it finally reached
Its owner
He put it on
Glad to finally have
His faithful friend again
1.2k · Sep 2013
Farce
Jared Eli Sep 2013
Let's smirk at this farce
We know the whole act
We've done this so long
All the moves are a dance

We two stand alone
Performing for none
The moon overhead
Lights the stage underfoot

Standing beside you
I feel complete
We both know I'm broken
But here I can fake it

No one but us
Knows what this is
It's not quite real
And not quite... not
Jared Eli Sep 2013
What do you call people endearingly?
Sugar
Honey
Dumpling
Lemon Meringue Pie
I get hungry thinking of things to call her
Love
Babe
Baby
Darling
Am I being old-fashioned? Do people still speak this way?
My dark angel
Mon cherie
Deliciae meae
Dove
Doll
What to say?
1.1k · Sep 2013
Jason T.
Jared Eli Sep 2013
I wrote you a letter, oh was I ever the fool
To think that you'd want me: the geek at the pool
Maybe if I wore a v-neck like those dudes you like
Or if I wore those pleather pants and had a motorbike
But instead I'm wearing swim trunks that are sporting Spiderman
The kid one, not the knock-off of the movie from Japan
My complexion's pasty white, like I was locked away for years
And my aversion to the ocean's only heightened by my fears
Of public humiliation, but it seems I've got that down
Because no matter what I do, I'm the laughingstock of town
So when your letter got here, it came as no surprise
To read. "*******, Jason T. Go and dry your **** four eyes."
Jared Eli Aug 2013
I ought to take the time to analyze my mental state
I really ought to try to calm myself down
But apathy that shields an underlying caring
Is the perfect combination for disaster

I ought to take the time to make a few more friends
I'm told they really are the most desired objects
I fancy that at times I'm surrounded by the possibility
Of people who might be my friends if I gave them the chance

I'm mocked and laughed at and I take it with a smile
But when I'm low and lonely I loathe it terribly
And I lock away the faces of the nasty little brats
Who will feel the wrath of my self-torment
1.1k · May 2014
I wish I never existed
Jared Eli May 2014
I dropped a penny into a well and wished that I never existed
I walked away feeling empty
A vague thought forming in the back of my mind:
Maybe, because the wish presented a paradox, it could not be fulfilled
I toyed with the idea of turning around
Of going back and righting the wrong
"I wish to be dead! That's not a paradox! Make it happen!"
But I lacked the motivation
All processes have been overtaken
By apathy
And for want of feeling, I continued to breathe
1.1k · Aug 2013
Whirlwind
Jared Eli Aug 2013
It's a whirlwind in my skull
Mind flipping this way and that
STOP
Dizziness is good for the soul I think to myself
But then it starts up again
Mind tossing this way and that
It won't stop
It can't stop
It's a whirlwind in my skull...
**STOPSTOPSTOP
1.1k · Jan 2014
Untitled
Jared Eli Jan 2014
The night sky is only half as pretty
When you're not with me to help me see it
Let's be spontaneous, just like Mitty
Greenland and Iceland, randomly flee it
Let's just pack our bags and head for a spot
Anywhere different and anywhere new
Like a whirlwind we'll head out on the dot
Just so long as I'm venturing with you
Alas we are halted; big dreams, too young
All our adventures seem based in uptown
And this stark reality is what stung
Because being contained can bring you down
No matter the wait, we'll get out of here
And head someplace new; adventure is near
<3
1.1k · Aug 2013
Sand and glass
Jared Eli Aug 2013
Sand and glass, glass and sand
In my face, in my hand
Sculpting me as I demand
Sand and glass, glass and sand

Sand and glass, glass and sand
Dancing with me, feeling grand
Ace of spades and a big brass band
Sand and glass, glass and sand

Sand and glass, glass and sand
Crushed beneath my soggy feet
Tip-toe gently, what a treat
Biting more than you can eat
Thought that she was oh so sweet
Never mind, I can't be beat
Here, the bodies hit the street
As I cut them down like wheat
Sand and glass, glass and sand

Sand and glass, glass and sand
In my face, in my hand
Sculpting me as I demand
(just a dream, it wasn't real
wasn't true, how can I feel
a beating, rushing, flutter-pulse
my mind and heart as one convulse
cannot stop the great illusion
leading me into confusion
what is real what is fake
have I made a grave mistake?
cannot be, it mustn't be
bring forth my reality)

Sand and glass, glass and sand
Falling from my bleeding hand
No more follows my command
Sand and glass, glass and sand
Jared Eli Aug 2013
A night like that was sorely needed
Confessed my soul and aspects of
My shattered personality

And yet, though I am fractured, broken
Damaged goods as some might say
She accepts me as I am

She doesn't bear the title of best friend
But she's closer than the rest and for
Many complicated reasons

The more I open up and show just how
Unlovable I truly am
The more she holds my hand
Jared Eli Oct 2013
I was going to stick a metal rod in the outlet today
I was already vivid with the excitement
Of taking serious health risks
Imagine, just imagine what it would feel like
O, what sweet ecstasy the pain would be
Shocking, and locking my arm in place
No escape from the unconverted
Power

I was so tempted to put the metal in the outlet
I didn't care what would happen
If it killed me, so what?
If it put me in the hospital, so what?
If it gave me super powers, so what?
The thrill and excitement built up within me
And like a dam about to burst, someone said No
Someone said no no no no no...
The voice in my head chimed in
The timid little good-doer in my brain
Said No

But my arm reached forward
The metal grasped tight between my bare fingers
Grown numb from holding on so tightly
The outlet was near
close close close
My smile was the widest it's been in years
My heart was racing faster than seeing Emma Stone
And then the timid voice came back
Stop being an idiot, Jared. Go back to rehearsing the play.
I threw the metal rod across the stage
And got up
And delivered my lines
Every once in a while I'm really stupid. Most times, I'm just normal stupid.
Jared Eli Sep 2013
Oh candid life
So stark and raw
Beauty plain in sight
The images of a life enjoyed
Pasted in the papier-mache places of the mind
The finger paints
The doodles and scrawls
The graffiti and love letters
Smiles and silly faces
Open your eyes and see what we see
Ridiculous images
Well-enjoyed and unplanned
Emotion plastered and thought riddled
Life
Stark and raw
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