Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
Jared Eli Sep 2013
listen to your rhythm, child
work it with the rhyme
and sew together a poem
for me
Jared Eli May 2018
The wind doesn't whistle so much as it lightly breathes over this bottle that is where we live
The bottle of Earth
Or at least my city.

It's breathing with the sense of misplaced importance, like it's sure it's a foreboding wind, but it doesn't have the backing
Or the heart.

I hear it, feel it lap at my bare calves gently, as though I'm swathed in the tide that's just come in, just trying to hang.

I feel the wind, hear it, and wonder how much of what I hear is the airplanes on their path back home.

How much of what I feel is the memory of a trip I took to the beach once, where the bottom of my foot came in contact with a reef in the wrong way and I had to hobble back to our sitting spot on one good foot and a fresh-made blood-fist of a foot.

How much of tonight is fueled by the pills I took an hour ago and my own anxiety and stress and unease
How much of me is fueled by needing someone in my life
Needing an older guide
Needing someone with a couple of light-up popsicles to show me the way

The way back home from this humdrum, bottle-blowing existence.
Jared Eli Feb 2019
The vivacity of dulling senses
understanding life's expenses
here I sit and smile.

Tomorrow is a world away, and I've
no mind to leave this world
So keep me in today and let
all tomorrows wait—
there's something so ******
in commanding fate
Jared Eli Oct 2013
99 cents for an iced tea
At the corner liquor store
But when the men in suits came and shut it down
We couldn't go there anymore
The man at the register never could add
Or maybe he short-changed us all
It wasn't the quarters he took from the kids
But the product in back made him fall
The stuff was the kind like none you'd ingest
Just go in for the coffee because that'd be best
Avoid all the product he put in the back
Because not only will you have a heart attack
But your mind and your eyes would be decieved
And the things you would see would be believed
Like Dave in the last five minutes of Stanley Kubrick's depiction
Of a Space Odyssey, but you would mistake reality for what he wrote as fiction
Up would be down and down would be blue
And your poor little brain wouldn't know what to do
All those misfiring connections made right by gunpowder
Your neural responses as sensible as chowder
Like Less Than Jake said, "I don't think I can yell any louder!"
Jared Eli Dec 2013
Emotions I'd lock away in a bottle
Heaving my foot harder on the throttle
Driving as reckless as this car can bear
If they could hear me, the people would stare
Because I was taxing the engine with e'ry mile
And it was worse when I'd fake a laugh or a smile
The more that I'd fake, the more I'd enclose
In a small envelope with the edges all rose
I'd pack more and more in, 'til it all would spill out
And rise to my lips in the form of a shout
But I'd bite on my lips 'til they bled ('til they bled)
And I'd keep all the shouts in my head (in my head)
And they'd never leak out, except when they did
How to express them? Well, I was just a kid
So I'd talk to my friends, but they were obsessed with games
And developing smart-assed remarks and foul names
None of them knew me, nor could understand
The shouts in my head or envelope in my hand
A slit for a thought, a fight for denial
The jury was loaded, my thoughts all on trial
No argument heard, it was senseless berating
And on the edge of cruel reason my emotions were skating
How to express what I knew was not reason?
The answer evaded me season by season
'Til it was said once, like a seed needing planting
A thought that grew out of my head, took my breath, left me panting
"You aren't Atlas, try as you might
All the feelings inside will **** you in a fight
You need to let out, like a quick-release lever
Find someone who'll ease your mind like, forever."
It took years to develop, since I first got the advice
Yet I was cast someone by the roll of dice
And little by little, my old ways would alter
My bottling acts would slowly falter
Three years it's been, and I'm surely the better
For unbottling things letter for letter
And sure, I've got stuff I don't say out loud
And things I keep private because I'm not proud
But still, I'm more open, and I'm also content
And it's as a result of the way I've been bent
Jared Eli Sep 2017
I think too much; I'm a Thoughtaholic
Got a chronic case and the addiction's got me good
An acquired taste
But isn't everything?
I'm thinking to remember to forget but I don't
Circles unto circles and I've wound myself up
I wind up here: thinking again
I'm thinking of everything and nothing
Racing down the track to my future and demise
What do I see?
It's too fast, but I've thought it
I've thought it and the thinking will catch up with me
My liver will shut down
I guess my metaphor will shut down long before that
But I'm thinking myself to death
Like an old alchie
I'm thinking alone again
Thinking a double, on the rocks
Jared Eli Oct 2013
Snap my neck, you *****
You've done it once before
Jared Eli Aug 2013
A hat was blowing down the street today
And I gave it a kick
It tumbled this way and that
Until it finally reached
Its owner
He put it on
Glad to finally have
His faithful friend again
Jared Eli Nov 2013
Dr. Who gave me the feels
While I sat in the kitchen with potato peels
Cooking up some pumpkin pie
Trying not to look in the corner of my eye
Amy Pond, I miss you so
But the Angel's hand said you had to go
You know, the power of three was better, I thought
When it wasn't three Doctors together and caught
Oh sure, they're awfully clever, (400 years and 4 seconds)
But wanting Amy with the Doctor? I'm not alone, and I reckon
She'd want it too, because that's how she is
The Doctor's her best friend, and as well, she's his
Rose Tyler, Rose Tyler, your body came back!
And this time it wasn't through a reality crack!
Interfacing with Bad Wolf Girl to realize YANO
But the part that broke my heart again: "I don't want to go."
Jared Eli Sep 2018
There are bottles on the floor but it's best to drink
with low center of gravity right now and
what's lower than the floor?
And it might be floor level
but it levels the playing field and I feel
like I can rush the players and
play right into the hands of my angry god.
My angry god has dreadlocks and smokes;
Don't ask me if it's ****--he's never shared.
My angry god wears button-down shirts,
the Hawaiian kind.
He drapes the shirts over his bony, lanky body
My angry god forgives me for the things I
don't remember doing, and laughs at the things
I do.
My angry god picks up the floor bottles and
tells me I can turn them into glasses
"recycle, reuse," he tells me
And I tell him the cycle of use repeats
and my feet shuffle close to him, wanting
to pat his shoulders but he's shouldered
my responsibilities and I can't add weight
so wait--
My angry god's hands are smudged with
dirt and ink and oil
like the prodigal poet, the blue collar lyricist
and he tells me not to worry
He tells me it doesn't matter
He tells me he's proud of me
And I don't have to prove myself to him
My angry god grabs my bottles and he
levels them
Emptying the playing field
"Sleep easy," he says
He tucks me in.
Jared Eli Nov 2013
One could have a worse idol
However some are not so wise
Toy people, he says
Wound up and ignorant
Walking about and mucking up
The little, little images
The postage-stamp-motion-pictures
Don't they see?
Can't they see?
It must take a genius to walk about blindly
Which is why they all just stumble
But no matter; their staggering footfalls
Hold answers to which he must find questions
And the silly drunkards and incompetents
Ask the wrong questions for boring answers
Drown them all in the kin of Stradivarius
The singing quiets everything in the attic
That he may at last view the final stroke
Who is the poem about?
Jared Eli Sep 2013
I wonder what it's like in the ****
Of a pig
I think I will live there when I'm old
Because no one will look for me there
Jared Eli Sep 2013
Writing poems but who are they for?
Are they secret notes to myself
To read
When I'm old and gray?
Are they
(Perhaps)
Simply lyrics to
Songs I'll never sing?
Are they my
Crudest representation
Of
My soul?
Yes they are.
Maybe.
I'm not ceratin.
To be honest
I have
No clue.
Jared Eli Jan 2021
And all the walls they look the same
as they go rushing past
Both my eyes they stay the same:
Pressed shut against the glass
Brick by brick and brick by brick and
brick by brick I go
On twinning tracks that take me further
from a place I do not know
Wrap my arms around myself                                                                       Pillow hands against the shelf                                                                  
Close my eyes to the raging world. . .                                                      
Look for me— Arizona heat, Cali drought,                                            
Oregon rain                                                                                                  
When you think you know you've lost me                                              
find I'm sleeping on the train                                                                    
Now the fields whip past the glass
my lids stay together
Cannot see the way ahead; cannot
spy the weather
Day to night and day to night and day to night
time flies
The grouped, chain-smoking pistons softly
exhale to the skies
Your arm around your shoulder                                                              
Remain as though a boulder                                                                      
Close your eyes to the raging world...
c. 2019
Jared Eli Oct 2013
There was a panda in my bed last night
I did not notice while I was asleep
When I awoke the panda screamed in fright
He hit his head and he began to weep
"Oh my dear panda, why are you in tears?
I'm sorry I made you hit your poor head
A panda, that is sad is in my fears
And thusly your sorrow makes my heart lead
The panda arose to glance at the door
Then he ripped the blankets out from my hand
I guess he cared not to talk to me more
So I attempted to await command
But wretched bear took a bite of my spine
And then on my entrails panda did dine
Jared Eli Nov 2013
A dozen heads but add one more
Placed on the piano near the door
That in its presence sounds will fall
Gutenberg's chaos, pleasing all
My version of a riddle...
Any guesses?
Jared Eli Nov 2017
A thousand drops of madness
like rain fall from the sky
A thousand seeds beneath them
sprout forth, and by and by
The sprouts beneath the rainfall
look more and more like you
'til the rain I know is timeless
and the picture just us two
The painted brush of Rembrandt
in death cemented be
Still he captures in this portrait
a picture of us three
A thousand drops of madness
A soil of willing faith
And you and me, close as can be
Our quest that of a Wraith
Jared Eli Feb 2019
I'll write you Russian Lullabies
on bagel menu paper
And I'll try to peek at numbers
to see sum of what adds up to what

"The Elba island you're standing on
King of sand, King of sea
Your real kingdom up and gone
subjected land-locked royalty

So take a bite of York, the New
And charge your equine at the horde
Make your stand where foam slaps land
Take your coffee black on board"

I don't know Russian Lullabies
though I heard the album once
I wanted to write you a poem
but my brain isn't writing these days
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZR3Hmswv20&index=1&list=PLFc7_JS3cjtv2j16Ps3DnYpY2AwB8w-mm
Jared Eli Sep 2013
Barry Manilow said he wrote the songs that made the whole world sing
And all I do is sit
And type
And listen to him sing
While I cry

Billy Joel told me that he just wanted someone that he could talk to
And I only listened
Didn't say anything of importance
Or anything at all
For that matter

Adam Duritz sang that he was the rain king
And I remember
Everytime I sit near a window
Or stand out in the street
When it rains

Ingrid Michaelson told me that she just wanted to be ok
And I knew that she'd be ok
If she was singing
And being her creative self
With me

I wanted to sing my compositions and act and dance
But the songs and words
Of my favourite artists
Seem like an unreachable
Plateau
Jared Eli Sep 2013
Beauty pageant queen
Had a sad, sad life
All her mother wanted
Was to live vicariously
Through a beautiful daughter
All her daughter wanted
Was a mother who loved her for who she was
And didn't care that she was lesbian
But her mother beat her until she submitted
Her will and her life
With words and insults
Thrown as spears into the heart of the innocent child
The beauty pageant queen walked the steps confidently
Ready to reap the greatest reward she had never known:
Freedom
And as her mother read the note
And as her feet swung inches from her mother's grieving head
And as the coroner's men came and took her away
And as the nation was thrown into an uproar over a woman they never knew
And as the people in the streets pointed fingers and called the queen a *****
And as her father heard the news in his second house with his new wife
And as the homeless man she was kind to on the corner took his grubby hat off in mourning
And as the press went wild and blew everything out of proportion and dehumanized her pain
The queen didn't care because she was free from the world
Because she was away from the pain
Because she was exposed for what she was
Because she was dead
And she didn't much care about anything
Not anymore
Jared Eli Sep 2013
I never have felt the pain of a sunrise
Or the sad sad feeling
Of the birth of a child
I haven't seen the sorry image
Of an old couple
Holding hands
I haven't tasted the agony
Of a fresh-baked
Chocolate chip cookie
I haven't seen or felt or tasted any of these things
Because beauty is everwhere
Filling up the world
With all its beautiful things
And making me feel
Amazing

What the ****, Beauty?
Jared Eli Sep 2013
The smiles we fake
The measures we take
To ensure that the others don't see
Though my heart will break
For you it will ache
For as always
It will betray me
Jared Eli May 2014
To quell my boredom I have sought
To do something I mightn't ought
I'll write me down some words in verse
A catchy meter; could be worse
Yet what a shame I think it'd be
To lose these words that came from me
Jared Eli Mar 2019
The moody boy in me died but the broody boy lives on
cos he thinkin bout the way you think the moody boy be gone
And he gone for sure but broody boy he think you don’t want him
so he brooding on the moodiness he think you got him in
Broody wants you to feel loved like maybe moody couldn’t do
and he wants you to know the love he got for you is love that’s true
He wants you to know that at very least if you feel so all alone
then brood on him a moment cos he got you listed as his home
Yeah broody boy alive and well and he think you mighty fine
like a gal that’s worth excavating for to build cellars for her wine
If there ain’t nothing else left in this world for you to take and hold dear
Just know this broody boy loves you so and he’ll whisper in your ear:
“We burn long and bright and through the night to the other side of the day
The eternal Yule log we light to fight and keep them bad spirits at bay
And it’s you and me, we the earth and sea, we the flames and wood below
We here to stay and ain’t going away cos it’s those bad spirits have to go”
Maybe he’s broody and maybe still moody but put a cap on his *** and see
That the boy inside loves that girl in you and he’ll love eternally
Jared Eli Oct 2013
I pushed myself into my own
Grave
And buried myself alive
Someone had to have the guts
To do it
Jared Eli Oct 2018
A readied man prepares himself for the schedule he can keep
But readied men are not prepared for the undetermined deep
The readied man will hold his page of dates and names and numbers
But those prepared for certain doom uncertainty encumbers

In I ride with fist held high
Burning gleam in either eye
Shouting upward at the sky:
“Burn the syllabi!”

Those ready men with paper sheaves, fledgling spears, and Pilot pens
Will find that with the chaos waves of fractal truth the world bends
And in the bending all exists as nothing more than blank code
So ready then your warships, but you’re tacking down the wrong road

In I ride with standard high
Burning gleam in either eye
Shouting upward at the sky:
“Burn the syllabi!”

The Four Horseman: Complexity, Uncertainty, Recurrence
Trajectory will maximise Lyapunov’s occurrence
Put on your scheduled armour and when you ride that rigid line
Remember that you penned it in and you claimed it would be fine

In We ride with fists held high
Flaming embers in place of eyes
Shouting ‘til the echoes die:
“Burn the syllabi!”
Jared Eli Jul 2014
It has never been right to **** your patients, and yet
You've got consent to drop bombs they won't live through to regret
Radiate them entirely from the inside to the outside
But the dawning realization is that the victims cannot hide
As they sit with blood all pumping in their veins
Checking their pulse to see how much time remains
Until they're carted out, just another toe tag
And the coroner zips up yet another black bag
Recognition is the lowest form of understanding
Yet you slap a name on something and you're suddenly commanding
As though you're the only person who knows what to do
But the people without white coats know about as much as you
They can recognize the pain and they know that it's a stall
Years of people in your care and you've never cured it all
They voice that they are hopeful that their loved one will pull through
But beneath it all they know that the good outcomes are few
So they sit and hold the hands of the people they still love
Knowing that they soon will leave this place, and to cherish moments of
Full coherence and the times when the whole family’s together
As though this were just another storm the family could weather
It’s the end of an era, they all know within
And their forceful denial doesn’t deny Death the win
As he swoops with his cape and his scythe there in hand
And slices at the soul and drags it back to his land
So the patient flat lines, and you hang your head
You don’t have to tell the family; they that know he’s dead
It doesn’t faze you as much as it did years ago
When you still questioned your faith and wondered where we all go
When the candle is snuffed and our life-line is cut
Leaving the survivors with guilt in their gut
See, you finally stopped caring about such questionings
Because the doubting left you thinking that you just did little things
So you tried to cut it out, and leave all that in the past
Trying to convince yourself that your doings would last
Like your time here on Earth was going to count when it ended
And your soul would escape on angel wings suspended
But some nights when you’re by yourself, in the loneliness you dread
Little voices come and whisper the thoughts deep within your head
Saying that people don’t get what they deserve, not usually
They only get what they get, and any fool could see
That receiving any hand, doesn’t mean it wasn’t stacked
Doesn’t mean the cards were shuffled, doesn’t mean they weren’t tracked
Could be that the same ace you had was given to two
And the other ace-holder played it faster than you
Leaving you without the years you were going to live
Striking from you all the phrases and the love you were to give
Like a river struck a dam, your lifespan was shorter
You would sooner take the train of death, handing obol to the porter
Sometimes it just doesn’t matter how well you played the game
Because Death isn’t specific and he treats us all the same
Age, rank, or affiliation won’t hold his scythe at bay
When he’s marked you as his target that he’s next to take away
And the voices in your head speak this into your ear
Just when you think it’s silent and you’ve nothing to fear
You’ve put your time in at the hospital, and you know you’re doing good
But you’re physically not well, and why isn’t quite understood
You should be happy to be helping those with the issues you’re resolving
But you begin to feel the hamster wheel by itself revolving
No longer are you choosing, though your choices led you here
The voices tell you different, but you don’t let yourself hear
What are you doing? Is it truly what you want?
Was life just meant for misery, and happiness a taunt?
You’re surrounded by the ailing, and you look them in the eye
Your oncologist’s senses approximate when they’ll die
You feel like a colonel leading unknowing young men
To the front lines to get shot at again and again
Promising the mothers as you take the boys away
That their sons will be fine and live another day
When you know in your heart that that isn’t the case
And most would be shipped home flag over their face
Those remaining are surrounded by the chosen of the draft
The unstable cannon fodder, and the ones that love this craft
Yet whether in your care, or out there in the field
The soldiers that you know cannot force Death to yield
While he may get distracted and pick off the others first
Sometimes it’s not the pain, but anticipation that’s the worst
When the strike is slow and silent, like a bullet that would glide
As your eyes were peeled forward, to strike you in the side
Spilling forth the gray that mattered, and your buddy whirls ‘round
Looking for the shooting culprit, but he’s nowhere to be found
Now that Death’s incoming, he goes through the motions
He’s seen it all before, the incantations and potions
The desperation amuses him but the thing he loves most
Is slowly pressing Fear in the body of a host
And when it’s ripe and lovely, dripping when they speak
That’s when he knows he’s got them, that’s when he knows they’re weak
Your soldiers fall beside their foes, all you do is hold the clipboard
Looking frantic at the file of every single lost ward
“It wasn’t me, it was Death!” but that’s not a diagnosis
And claiming that you see him, is a sure sign of psychosis
So you zip up your mouth, and throw out the key
Knowing that your battle’s over, and you cry suddenly
The tears just escape you and fall without warning
As you’re dressing up plain for more bad news this morning
You’re crying for each patient, for every second that they’ve lost
For all the days they couldn’t have because someone said that was the cost
Their hand wasn’t their choice, and they played them through, no folding
But they just couldn’t beat the royal flush dealer was holding
When they up and away, though you try not to remember
The moment’s locked in your head, like a fire’s last ember
All it needs is a stirring, something sharp to ignite it
And this morning it’s too much and you simply can’t fight it
You give in to the tears and they cleanse your red eyes
And you feel cleansed from within as though you’ve washed out your lies
Because you care about the patients, and the voices that once spoke
You’ve thrown all away, and the locks on you broke
It’s simply a matter of dealing with loss
And overcoming the pains that once were your boss
So you straighten your tie and prepare for today
Knowing that if things aren’t good, then crying’s okay
But mobilization, and actions are key
In changing the outcomes positively
A cleansing is needed, but you have to schedule the day
When one brain half leads, and the other goes away
Death’s not a thing that’s stupid or crazy
To cry about, and though finality’s hazy
And you still haven’t sorted through all of your doubt
There’s a fine chance you know what living and dying’s about
Now whether or not you believe there’s life after
It’s a good rule of thumb to cause people laughter
Be kind to your friends, be kind to your foes
Offer up hope to those with or without woes
Be good of heart and if you die, so be it done
That you among others, will be a missed one
It’s not about fairness of life, or longevity
Though it is disappointing to live life with brevity
If you’re active and friendly, you’ll be leaving a mark
Though your body decomposes, your spirit left a spark
Like those embers of memory you stirred up that morning
Pieces of you will revive without warning
In the lives of the people you touched and affected
Your Jolly Roger, in pieces, is erected
And you’ll stowaway like in a book by Robert Louis
But in the heart of a young one, a young man, who is
Training to do what you did, for the masses
Working alongside other young lads and lasses
Your profession and traits still exist, and that’s grand
Just knowing that you were a part, gave a hand
To a new generation, of leaders and lovers
And though they may not sing Bob Dylan covers
They’re connected to you through time and space
And the goodness you’ve done could not be erased
When you go, let it be at your time, and remember
Even if you think not, you’re somebody’s ember
Yes, your life has been catalogued by people that love you
Because feelings don’t change when people walk up above you
So when you’ve life to its fullest and slip into your last covers
Do not doubt you’ll live on in your friends and lovers
Now these life-living tips are not costly and no scam
But now we return to our usual program
Jared Eli Oct 2013
Burn my wick down
Until you extinguish my flame
With the liquid wax
Of regrets past

It will be tragic
But I'll only be half paying attention
Because you're bathing by the light
Of my flame
And it is very distracting
Jared Eli Aug 2013
I've got this bad obsession with this game they put on facebook
Got to clear the jelly, and the level's harder than at first look
Making candies match and gaining extra lives
Requesting extra moves that are bundled up as fives
I cannot stop the playing, I've got to play the game
The more intense the episode, the drive becomes the same
Jared Eli Aug 2018
And it's just, the more I pull away the more it seems elastic dreams of snapping back
I've lived on razor's edges long enough to know a cut that's coming
And the cut that's coming I've stopped before but it wants more, it want the string
These things come with a price that's paid by the ones that lay me down
The waters are deep below but I just might go swimming
The waters are deep below but you want to follow
me and I can't let you
I can't imagine losing you even if the losing is done after I've lost
And maybe it'll always be this way night and day making two endless cycles of battles until I'm not sure if I'm waking from sleep or sleeping to avoid the waking nightmare of the thing I want to do
Now with growing concern I realize too late that it is fate that all I've done is draw out my final breath for a few more years and no one hears the voice in my head that convinces me it might be fun to be
Dead dreams grow like weeds in my rib cage sores and I pull them out and leave them on the window sills because talk and pills seem endlessly to be the answer
but I know the answer is just a delay of the inevitable and that's okay
so long as it means I make it another day
So long as I get to keep you, and I suppose, so long as you get to keep me
Jared Eli Dec 2012
The man watered the roses, so the roses would look fine
The man tended his grapevines so he could make his wine
He watched his little children so they’d grow up alright
Then he went out kicking at the stool because he gave up the fight
His wife picked out a silky suit to let all the viewers see
That this man, her husband, had the taste well-known to royalty
She didn’t realize that no one cared what suit he wore
He was dead and to him suits meant nothing anymore
They put him in a vase and she put him on a shelf
She hurried to the bathroom to splash some water on herself
She hadn’t seen this coming, but it had been there all the while
Just waiting on the horizon until it composed the ashen pile
Jared Eli Nov 2013
I christened myself in the church of Chaos with tears
Steven Strogatz, James Gleick, Mitchell Feigenbaum
Jared Eli Dec 2013
Whenever I am broke
I try to hand out
Smiles
Jared Eli Dec 2012
Here I sit across the way
The lines of men will wait
They cannot move and so they stay
Useless in this state

Contrasting squares of white and black
The marble stained with gore
They cannot push the forces back
Across the checkered floor

These men I see, they stand so tall
And ready, now they'll start
In truth, they almost all will fall
But none will lose their heart

The king, he lifts his sword to fight
His chalice fills with blood
He takes the hits with all his might
A dam to stop the flood

The queen stands tall beside her king
Her power fueled by rage
She won't accept nor stand the thing:
Her double, center stage

King's knights, the twins, evoke attack
Both dance here and there
They add their kills to the traitor stack
Beside the castle's stair

A pawn moves forth to gain a crown
The act causes alarm
A traitor bishop cuts him down
But slices hip to arm

A cannon aims from castle strong
To shoot the bishop dead
Its accuracy, never wrong
Removes the bishop's head

A sudden change in fortune finds
Our king in dire need
The queen steps forth and closes blinds
And embraces arrows speed

The king cries out, the terror real
His double enters fast
King sees the knife, but cannot feel
His reign now of the past

The new king stands upon the throne
And lifts his trophy high
His thirst for war has largely grown:
All other kings must die
Older poem I found in my book of poetry... Thought I'd share it :)
Jared Eli Aug 2013
I've got the taste of a free cigar
On my tongue
I love the taste but I feel disgusting
When you lean in for a kiss
It's not you; it's my filthy cigar-flavored, lie-infested mouth
I love you doll, but no kisses tonight
Jared Eli Aug 2013
"Not bad for a cloudy day,"
She said as the clouds gave way
To the torrents of rain which pelted my head
As the stoplight said 'yield', then blinked harshly red
The cars as they skittered across the wet street
Were coupled as urgently with running feet
And as water from roadside splashed up on the walk
We gathered in bookstores for coffee and talk
The flags were brought in on their damp, cotton lines
And the halyards stayed free from the rope which entwines
We with our coffee felt free as the wind
And we laughed as the thought remained:
Please don't rescind
Jared Eli Oct 2013
I can't say just how long it's been
Since I pinched down one nostril and sniffed that stuff in
Gave myself over to the sugar of sin
Then repeated the other side so my head would spin

Maybe it's been a year and a half
But I'm starting to shake with the force of my laugh
And I can't control the twitching of my calf
It's like the boss on my neck is missing staff

The lights are much brighter and the sounds smell great
It was like this the first time in 2008
Someone'll bring ***** but I just can't wait
Now I'm off to find coke, tonight, my only date
Jared Eli Sep 2013
Oh candid life
So stark and raw
Beauty plain in sight
The images of a life enjoyed
Pasted in the papier-mache places of the mind
The finger paints
The doodles and scrawls
The graffiti and love letters
Smiles and silly faces
Open your eyes and see what we see
Ridiculous images
Well-enjoyed and unplanned
Emotion plastered and thought riddled
Life
Stark and raw
Jared Eli Aug 2018
Cookie-cutter classics are what I'm listening to
Songs like these just always seem to make me think of you:
Same as others, yet still popular; you leave me feeling blue
Wishing for a cookie-cutter to make me the same as you
Jared Eli Dec 2013
I took an axe to our bed
So it wouldn't feel so empty
Without you inside of it
With me
Jared Eli Dec 2018
I.
The backdrop changes before me and I think I am anew
To be anew, to be reborn, one must have been, at first
Have I been, at first?
Perhaps, and yet. . .

II.
I’ve not yet been here, quarterly
I’ve only been in passing
Sitting in the space of life
With fleeting moments lasting
See me and time we know the score
We know we’re not exclusive
Yet staying codependent makes
Our love affair abusive
Time wipes the scene and all is gone
And then it starts replacing
But I can feel the difference and
I see the lines erasing
There’s not much left that used to be
I point this out at will
But newness covers like a moss
The oldness dead and still
Perhaps I’m new, or not yet old
But I have seen the stage
Set with dirt and wood and rock
And ink upon the page

III.
Do I think I have agency? Perhaps I do, but then
It seems I start to do something and do something again
And the old that was repeats itself with new baubles and bells
Dressed up nice, repainted, and the old as new resells
Do I think I have agency? Perhaps I don’t, and yet
I’d rather play my fight with Fate than lie down dead, I bet
And the predetermined actions I will act out as a player
The Game of Life’s veneer shall soon obtain another layer

IV.
There’s a war within this corporeal host
And there’s not yet a clear winner
There’s half that’s fed, half that’s naturally stronger
Brute force and technique
Jesse and Cass, and the sun might be coming
But who will burn?

V.
And of course it ends here, because of course it always had to
The crisis, this crisis, dressed up as though it were something new
There’s nothing new that comes from me:
I am derivative.
See me in the words of giants, see me in the spittle of groundlings
I will bind, with my arms I will bind
Feel them as vines, wrap around you and press
Girth upon your body
A bound book we shall be, and I will bring you to the well
Down shall we fall, Prospero’s tome, bound book’s tomb
I will bind you.
And in the absence of binding I shall seek you out
I will gaze for your eyes in a crowd:
Brown, blue, green, hazel, gray
Feel them upon you as a microscope, focusing
I shall find you.
Though with finding and with binding,
two shall join as one
Can there be two alone as one?
For the two exist as funhouse mirrors of
Past experience current
There will never be another one quite like
The other one you were quite like
The other ones you’ve been quite like
‘til now
And so with arbitrary electus tempus
Now is not the same
Today is but the only day
Today is not a copy of
The days that came before.
And of course it ends here.
Where else could it have begun?
Jared Eli Oct 2013
Smile when you're walking, boy
Smile when you hurt
Smile when you're feeling down
And when you feel like dirt

Smile when the sun is up
Smile when it rains
Smile like you mean it
So it takes away your pains

Smile all the time, my boy
Smile all the day
And someday when you're dead and gone
Those smiles will come back your way
Jared Eli Sep 2013
I'm not sure you understand
Just exactly how I work
I'm not normal
But then, who is?
So let's put formality aside
Have at me, uncertified surgeon!
Let your knives peel back my skin!
Use your blades to cut the organs
So you'll see the stuff within
In my heart is the place where I keep the love
Protected from fiends who like vultures above
Wouldst dare to steal my sacred store
That will deplete forevermore
My liver is a strange one, and yet
You'd know what goes inside, I'd bet
Therein lies all the things I hate
Filtered from life and made to wait
Inside the liver, oh so dense
To keep the hate from the present tense
To keep it all just locked away
So I can try to be okay
Then in my lungs is icy air
That I breathed in, frozen, from your cold stare
I thought you were jesting your eyes must be wrong
But it turns out you meant it like that one Beatles' song
Because I truly did not realize
As I gazed deep into your eyes
Into the soul that just days before
You swore was mine, threw open doors
Your eyes this time would shut me out
What was this alienation about?
But I guess you just snapped and all loving stopped
You were still sane, but your toleration popped
Which is totally fine and I have no problem knowing
That these fractures and breaks had slowly been growing
But I thought if we tended the garden of love
And forgot all the issues I alluded above
That we'd be fine and could just carrry on
And though I still believed that you went and you're gone
So again, I say unto you, uncertified surgeon!
Cut deep into me and pull out my soul
My heart's been ripped out, why not seal the deal
*Tear out my soul with a smile and a flick
And stitch me back up with the thread of past wrongs
That each day I might look down and see
That what was done was done by me
This italicized portion I may steal and use somewhere else
Perhaps in a better poem
Jared Eli Dec 2013
If you know to whom I speak,
Know this:
I write for you
. . .
And sometimes for me, but mostly you!
Jared Eli Aug 2013
You can trust the people
But not the devil inside them
And I know now
That he's there
In me

I say what I shouldn't
Forget what I shouldn't
Remember nothing
Of any sort
Of value

The devil inside me
Takes root
And I've shot all my resources
In the hand
That fed me
Jared Eli Feb 2018
Yet again it begins as the puppet master spins
Tangling the strings and holding up the wings
And down go the angels into hell
Down goes the bucket in the well
But the water comes up empty
And the bucket sinks down dry
And as sure as skies are falling
There's a needle in my eye

Did you try to tell me something
When you floated out to space?
Did you try to let me know
That the void was in my place?
That the emptiness consumed you
And you consumed my heart
And when you found it lacking
You blew us both apart

Yet again it will end and we greet again as friends
But the knots that were tied are just tangles multiplied
And the complication's ever
Ever present, ever on
Ever present, ever on
Ever on and on and on

Did you try to tell me something
When you sank down in the deep?
Did you try to let me know
That I was making you lose sleep?
Then those sleepless nights defined us
And defined we could not stay
And when that door was opened
You walked out and away

Yet again it begins as the wooden puppet spins
Held up fast and held up tight casting shadows in the light
And down goes the curtain on the stage
Fistfuls of hair fly in a rage
But the show reviews successful
So the master restful lies
And the blazing wooden puppet
Feeds the fire as it dies

Did you try to tell me something?
For the hour's now grown late
And the something that you said
Is now lost and out of date
Did you try to tell me something?
I didn't listen, couldn't hear
All the words from puppet masters
Were crammed deep into my ear

Did you try to tell me. . .?

Did you try to tell me. . .?
Jared Eli Oct 2017
I've had a long stint on this planet
They sentenced me to life
But the charges were for things that happened
Long before I was born
Tell me if that's fair
Jared Eli Jun 2013
Don't worry, don't worry
The mantra that follows
The phrase that repeats in my cranial hollows

Don't worry, don't worry
It's fine as can be
Seems like they've always said this to me

Don't worry, don't worry
Doesn't set me to ease
But I slap on a smile, them all to appease

Don't worry, don't worry
Like the raven of yore
Telling me the little thing that'll help me once more

Don't worry, don't worry
I'm worrying still
Because I can't stop it, but someday I will
Jared Eli Nov 2012
The rains came swift, no chance had I
To guard myself from cold
Yet whether water came from sky
Or earthen veins like gold,
A pulsing flow, a chilling stream
Denied me warmth to spite
And so I drifted into dream
Where at last I spent the night
Jared Eli Sep 2013
His eyes never blink as he watches the scene
Of the desolate landscape below
The recklessness reeks and the actions are mean
And Doc T. J. Eckleberg knows

The cruelness of people whose hearts are undone
By the stark disconnection therein
A fight against apathy can seldom be won
But they simply did not try to win
Next page