I want something that I cannot have. I cannot have it because I don't truly know what it is. I've seen it polished and propped as if it were on display and I've heard the stories of how much time and effort it took to make it look as such. But I want it. I want love. I want the idea of it at least.
I want the fights brought about by events simpler and less important than the time we wasted to have them. I want to be pained by the sight of her pain and know that the feeling of knives piercing my chest when I see her cry is there because I would literally drive them there myself, if only to prevent her tears.
I want our laughs to intertwine over the smallest things and our conversations to stretch our minds over the biggest. I want to see you sleep at night and I'll smile because I know that you're finally at peace. And I want you to smile when you wake up because you know that I'm fighting to make your reality better than your dreams.
I want love. I want romantic love, I want crazy love. I want passion. I want to pick you up in my arms and in that brief present get lost in your presence. I want to be in you when I am in you and have you wish that I would stay forever. I want to be in your heart and mind, and I want our love to be torturous and blind.
I just want love. I want the idea of it at least.

Sometimes I stop and ask myself,
was the poetry worth
the pain
in the end?

God told me today he works for the good of those who love him.
Lord, I believe you and I choose to have faith for once in my life when it feels difficult to even breathe.
You have promised me a better life and I give you my struggles of heartbreak.
Lord, turn this misery into a testimony and make the sun stand still in my life.
Give me the faith to trust what you say.

I love words and
I love metaphors.
I love the muse that inspires the words
and how flawlessly these words form metaphors.

I love deciding how people perceive me.
Even I am beautiful when painted metaphorically.

about only five
or so
thoughts will go by
till some semblance
of you
conquers my mind

rainbows and nightmares
in your hair
it flows hypnotic
from here to there

oh, darling, how it flows
like rivers within daydreams
pure beauty transposed

I stop and think
on your face a while

there are constellations
in your smile

precious pearls
to further accent
the vivid colors you
represent

you've since floated in
underneath my skin

& I like you there

moments are now shallow
as they go by

pleasure since hollowed
if you're not beside
me

& that's alright

I sense you in the night air

I conjure your closeness
to combat my despair

fervently feverish,
wanting
you there

I'd sleep in the street
if it would earn me a glare

I reach out for your embrace

I will be soothed back into
my longing dream state

your colors now paint
the night around

& soon the sound
of your name

whispered

rattles my brain

& I'm left with only
my longing

I'll yearn for you
just the same