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Vandy Madireddy Aug 2020
She has that one breath
Punctual, following the fourth tear
A sharp intake - halting her heart
And vanished her tears.

Years of suppression,
Now an addiction
A cycle unbreakable
A good cry hidden away.

She has that one breath
Ironically killing her
She wished she didn’t
Breathe that one breath.

Last or not
She didn’t care
That one breath
She could go without.
Vandy Madireddy Dec 2018
I want to ask you about Love.
When I say ‘love’ I mean real life love, not the heart racing, clichéd romance.
I want to know how you know it’s love.

I watch a lot of crime shows, documentaries and other stuff.
So much so that there’s a bell that goes off every time I’m anywhere near “love.” Then there is the love that we feel for others in our life.
The love for your parents, siblings, friends and pets.

I still fail to understand what love is and when and how to know if it’s real.
I don’t know if I love my parents.
I miss them everyday, talk to them everyday, yet when
I’m with them, I can’t wait to get away.
It’s the same with everyone else.
Is that what love is?
Is that how being in love feels?

If it is, I don’t know how I feel.
And if it isn’t, then do I not love the people around me?
Does that mean the “I Love You’s”
I throw around so carelessly are empty?

What if I do not find someone I truly love? What if I find someone I love like I love the people around me?
I don’t know which it is I hope is true.

How can I choose between being the person who couldn’t love the people she is closest to or the person who can’t stand to live with the person she loves?

Girl.
Vandy Madireddy Oct 2018
The night fall, like a predator,
Scares me to stay awake,
Not a blink of sleep,
But abundant tears,
Most of which are reluctant,
To fall, to escape,
Like me they too are afraid.

The dawn however,
Lures me back to sleep,
Like a sweet melodious lullaby,
Taking away all my worries,
Like my mom who sings it,
The nightmares that follow,
Rob me off my trust.

The rude awakening of,
Phone calls from my parents,
Every mid-afternoon,
Leaves me with a blinding headache,
A churning stomach,
A racing heart, a breaking soul,
Snatching my innocence.

The hungry calls of my sister,
Drags me into every evening,
Cooking for dinner, the following,
Day’s breakfast and lunch,
Chop and cooking urging me
To cut my fingers or burn my palms,
Leaving me too weak to go through.
For the first time
When I was leaving my mother's hand
Obviously I was crying
But after a minute end
Another one tackle my hand
Obviously I was filled with joy
She started to wipe my tears
I forgot all my fears
And you know what
Who she is?
Obviously she is my gorgeous teacher

For the first time
When I was with my new books
With new-new words
With lots of crooks
Obviously I was worried
But after a first day in class
I forgot all my worries
They makes me able to pronounciate
They makes me able to understand
They provide me a lots of courage
And you know what
Who they are?
They are my lovely teachers.

For the first time
When I was in my new standard
With new new flubdub calculations
Science with mystery
Social science with history
I just wanted to lose my victory
Amd Stop my studies
But they gave me lots of strength
They present 24×7 hours for me
They makes me feel that-"yes I can surely do it"
And you know what
Who they are?
They are my keen and sincere teachers.

And again, for the first time
When I was for higher studies
With new new things
Physics and chemistry brings
My head gotta a deal
That I can do nothing
But then teachers with full of knowledge
With full of energy
And with new new identical examples
Makes study more fun
And you know what
Who they are?
They are y devoted teachers.

Exactly, teachers are the
Director of our life's movie
It depend on us
Whether we follow their buzz.
They are like
Water for dried plants,
Stars for sky
Mother for child
Pen for writing.
Truly they are beyond the words.
I bestow my everything on them
Hats off to you all.
This is for my all teachers even for every teachers in the world .. here me denotes every student ..
This is about how dedicated teachers are for students .. they are truly a noble persons .. I hereby wanna to thank my teachers- Mam Diksha, mam Sareeta, Mr.Devendra Sir, Mr.Girish Sir Mr.Surya pratap Sir of S.V.M. for truly devoted towards us .. And I also thank Mam Neelam, Mam Neelu Mr.Pushkar Sir, Mr.P.N.tiwari Sir for always there for me every time.
  Sep 2018 Vandy Madireddy
EP Robles
I had run out of it i'm out of it
mind you my mind that ran away
first by feet then by train
paxil was her name a rotundish
hard skinned pink pill of a ****
so sleeping a tossing flipping
dreaming dream i witnessed a mess
messing up a dream:

this slot of sliced land jutting
with clapboard housing a shouting
with roaches a toasting the best
of a meal they boasted
the strangest of stranglets in
a land of strangler piglets;

two step eddie backed up to a window
owned by a rider, says he with
back to a drive-thru widow, 'take
this shotgun, won't need it, take
this broad sword too, and take this
forty-four again won't need it,
i'll keep this grenade cause it
needs me more -- see that man there
, snagged my lawn cutting his own
, watch me walk over there.

Two-step walks over there and pulls
the pin and once again they do like
they do the owner of that window
was a copy-cop over 44 and says
to eddie, 'don't pull that pin you
sons of guns, sons of burning suns!"
Pin pulled, trigger pressed two slugs
in the valley of the deepest cracks
of two buns and all is done.

And the female dog under the oak
toking-tree says to her male friend,
'your banging will wake up the
recently dead if you don't stop
banging and start more slapping instead;
no-step eddie tells the devil he
needs to brush his tooth but forgot
his teeth brush under the bush.

Never cold turkey Paroxetine
and slip to sleep on a Monday.

:: 06-26-2018 ::
strange dream, caught in the cold.  cold turkey paxil is not a funny matter.  Ugh.  It was the most unbearable!
  Sep 2018 Vandy Madireddy
Aa Harvey
A Loner


Some people just have to be alone,
Not all of us get to find love.
Not all of us can be happy,
Most of us will spend our lives miserable.


But I shall save you from my misery,
I won’t let you end up like me.
For I only bring peace, love and empathy;
Disguised as my love (inside is a disease).


A ball of confusion,
A web woven by the fallen;
The women of past, present and future;
All gang up to tell me I’m a loser.


So **** me please,
I beg for death.
I can’t have love,
So I would rather be dead.
Than live one more second
On this putrid Earth.


It disgusts me,
It sickens me,
I despise having to live in this world.


(C)2013 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.
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