Valya

Valya Sep 2021

I'm scared
I'm so terribly scared
I've become a nightmare
A nightmare to deal with
Even I can't handle myself
So how will anyone else be able to
I don't want to be left alone
But I'm a monster
I can't even control my emotions
How much longer will this go
When can I be free

I just want to be normal again :/

#scared #me

Valya Sep 2021

Laughing

I'm laughing
But am I really
I feel so dead
So bleak
It feels like I'm on autopilot
I don't even feel happy
I just feel numb

I wanna be able to laugh again without feeling like it's not me actually laughing :/

#depressed #alive #laughing

Valya Sep 2021

Best fit road

I'm really uncertain about where to go
All of these different roads all glow
So which one is best for me?
Which one glows the brightest?
Is one glow meant for romance
The other meant for financial success
And a third meant for good grades
Will there be one to encompass all?
Or do I want the one that glows the least?
The one least threaded on
Would that be best for me?

So many different ways to go about life, yet there isn't a single one that i've liked enough to stay on :/

#road #life #different

Valya Sep 2021

Sitting in the waiting room

I am waiting
Waiting for someone to treat me write
Waiting for someone to love me unconditionally
Waiting to feel safe
Waiting to feel like there will always be someone right next to me
Waiting for the day I can run into their arms
Waiting for the day I say “I do”
I am waiting for the perfect fairytale

I just want the loving romantic relationship that my parents could never have. Its proving hard to get, but tbh that makes me want it even more

#love #hopeless #romantic