I'm trying not to become
Co-dependent
On someone
Someone I like a lot
Who brings solace to my fears
When they choose to talk
And I'm trying to appear sane
If only on the surface
To not throw my fondness away
For said person
By expressing it too often
Cause in the static of my mind
Time moved in heartbeats and
In solitary reflection I find
I've found a semblance of what
I seek
It's true I could die today
With a flashback of your voice
So I'm hoping that you'll stay
Because I'm still awake
I couldn't find it in art
Small-talk or T.V
No words seem to explain
This sensation that's posessed me
You think I'm a wreck because
I'm young and
Glorifying your face
But the truth is that I'm numb
When a cold wind replaces
Your embrace
You see romance never wanted me
Affection left me alone
All I knew were scissors to
Snip petals off of roses
And pills of all shapes and sizes
To keep my mind off of the
Affirmation
Believing I was fated to
Constant suffering in silences
My shiny new rational is this:
Life's too short to never fall
In love and life was meant for
Just two to amass a
Treasure trove
I'm trying to stay myself
And share my completeness
With the one
I'm trying to remain intact
When all is said and done
But that's only theory
I can't build a house on
The foundations more like water
That consumes the cement and
Stone
So I'm a little bit dramatic
I know what you're thinking
But who are you to tell me
That my therapy's not working?

Narcolepsy* hard and heavy watch me fall asleep
            Lulled to bed in a cunning thread of the tangled web we weave
    I dream in pristine colors, windows of my mind anew
No fingerprints or ***** looks or evidence of you

         I find comfort in forever wherever it may be
        I may have left my home but it will always stay with me
                 The smell of all the smoke with the sound of all the rain
   On constant playback every second deep within my brain

        I found that time is all that matters and everything else faded
        I spent years and years learning how to forget everything I hated
    I've only gotten older and have nothing left to show
              Except a ringing alarm clock and blood on my pillow

     Narcolepsy** hard and heavy watch me as I sleep
     Another pill, another high, another date to keep
      If I shall die before I wake, I hope that I'm with you
    Then it won't matter where I go, cause you will see me through

Soft shriek where the pain hurts
Loud scream when your words hit
Swift kick to the chest when I know that you meant it
Playing over and over in my mind like I'm on a cinematic hit list.
But I miss when we were quiet And absent  we cannot thrive after calamity and we cannot live hell bent
And not when the days that we spent were full of romantic torment
I wanna touch between your tendons
I wanna scream into your arteries like I'm in an empty tunnel and it echoes back into my sleeves
DONT GIVE UP ON ME
DONT GIVE UP ON ME  
DONT GIVE UP ON ME PLEASE
and don't... give up... On us..
But if you did. I'm sorry it wasn't enough
And you couldn't hold on
And you couldn't choke up the words to tell me you were already half way gone before I woke up.
And my eyes popped open like the hiccup in our path to where we stopped and where we picked up. I guess I slipped up and I let go it was my fault because I stepped up before you even got off the tight rope.
We fought fire with fire to the point of no return.
Why are you screaming when I was the one who got burned.

Lately, things have been hard

Lately, things have been tough


Lately, we haven't talked

Lately, you've had enough


Lately, I stand alone


Lately, I do not care


Lately, you've been away


But baby,

Once you were there


We met in July

You were gone by October


Haven't seen you in as many

months it's been since I was sober



So I'll take another ****


Get lost

in the smoke


I'll take another sip


Till I don't
walk

I
just
t  r  i p


Cause
Lately, things don't seem right

Lately, it's so hard to sleep at night