Atop this mount
At the precipice of great change
It's strange
I look out
While I should be looking in
I'm in admiration of the view
There's nothing to hold onto
My body aching from the climb
I think of other times
Before the beauty, before the pain
My life was more simple and yet more plain
But alone here now I stand
Forever, I know, a changed man

I am not crazy,
Though the voices inside my head would prove other wise,
I am not lazy,
Though I would rather stay indoors than go outside,
I am not sad,
Even though I can easily think myself into depression,
I am not mad,
Even though your cruel words can are a constant suppression
I am just me.
A teenager growing up.
Wishing, I had that extra bit of luck.

There are constellations between your teeth and you have starlight wrapped around your tongue, there is moonlight in your eyes but sunlight in your smile
Every time you breath you inhale glitter and oxygen and powdered sugar, the scent of grass and strawberries and hope
Flowers bloom between your ribs and wind through the joints in your hips, your knees, your wrists
There is a whole menagerie in your stomach, butterflies and pelicans and Bengal tigers
Your skin is crushed velvet, silk and lace, encasing a skeleton of steel and iron, silver filigree
Your hands are soft as cotton, rose petals, strong as the will of all your ancestors.
When you die you will melt back into the earth, disintegrate and fall back to where you came from
You will be absorbed back into the atmosphere and the universe will swallow you up.
It will rearrange your atoms and produce something completely you but completely different.
You are one of a kind, you are the entire universe.
You will never be again, but you will never stop being.

Parasitic infection, brain overtaken.
When the soul dies, I’ll fully awaken.
Constant conflict, the machine rejects me.
Chemical warfare declared, the mind is not free.
Machines can be rewired to suit the pilot,
Though the changeover can be quite violent.

Trapped within my own head,
The voices within want me dead.
I am infected, weakened and constantly irate.
Barely stable within the chaos that is my mental state.
Anxiety and disconnection from my own existence.
Reality is blurred, I am losing resistance.

Why am I the one, who myself I must fight?
Losing track who am I, am I human or parasite?

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A lack of motivation
No will to succeed.
I've come to a crossroads
but it's direction I need.
Which path do you take when they all seem the same?
Long winding roads fraught with sadness and pain.
Maybe stay the course and ignore the budget
because clear minds cause cloudy judgement.
Or I could put it all down and try to go clean
but then I'm stuck in my own skin forced to be me.
Synapses shooting signals constantly causing my anxiety.
I'm unstable on the edge so please tread lightly.
Because I don't know who's in charge at any given moment.
Voices in my head always screaming to get violent.
The reptile is running wild, he can't be contained.
I'm just the meat puppet while hes pulling on my strings.
Listen to your thoughts conflicting.
Realize that somethings missing.
Fall victim to the instincts that once kept you alive.
My greatest adversary is locked inside.

I found myself in a land free of troubles
Then came shaking
The world turned inside out
Now the falling
Panic rushing through me
What was that?
Faint whisper
I can't make it out
Then it comes louder
You
Need
To
Wake
Up
Then it all crumbles
I'm back
Good morning