when i was younger
i thought that when you
“fell in love,”

with someone

something in you shifted.

and you could feel it,

an instant change inside of you.

i always figured
that was a silly thing to think

but then your eyes met mine.

and from across the room,

while everything else felt unimportant.

my heart jolted,

and i knew,

that i loved you.

This pain is so unbearable,
I'm writing on my skin.
My whole arm feels numb,
I didn't think it'd get this bad again.
I'm painting with my wrist,
In only the color red.
Because each deep little thought,
Can only come out unsaid.

My mind is so twisted,
I'm mixing lies with facts.
I'm not sure who to trust.
My heart or my head.
They're spinning me around,
As if it's life or death.
Each direction will cause pain,
But somehow,
One will still bring something to gain.

I can feel it
I can taste the taste of poison
Lingering in my mouth
My lungs filled up to the brim
And with every breath I let out

Black thorns entwine my heart
Leaving barely any space for it to beat
I dream of being taken by my sorrows
Dark winds swaying me off my feet
And numbing the pain eternally
I fantasize of being saved by death
Sweet nothingness taking me over
I wish to no longer be
This world is no place for me