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Amanda Sep 2019
Can’t sleep at night
Whispers fill my head
They are known to me, these
Voices of the long dead
Looking for guidance
I should listen to their counsel
But who am I fooling.
There’s only one voice in this skull

Guess I am just missing
The guiding hands that raised me
Always there to turn to
When life got a little scary
So now I have to be the strong one
Trust in the decisions I make
Be true to the values they taught me
And hope I don’t make a mistake
Amanda Sep 2019
Pen make tracks
Across the artic expanse
Of this paper flat
Write me a sonnet of love
Purge this heart, swollen with words
So this ink can flow
Bleeding with every beat
Of my hearts love poetry
Amanda Sep 2019
In my head
A thought splits into thousands
And days become the dead
As hours pass like seconds

I can’t recall
A moment when I smiled
And I saw a star filled nightfall
As a sun was left defiled

I didn’t see
A change, it arrived uninvited
And naive I pulled it into me
As the world became blighted

I fell voiceless
A mute that told daily lies
And you were fooled, spared the darkness
As you only saw my thespian guise

I mislaid me
A year of constant misery chipped away
And I grew into this dark personality
As I woke into a unknown day

I can’t be
A happy copy of who I was
And I will hold onto the love you give me
As I fight against this dark road into Oz
Had a year of illness, fighting my way back!
Amanda Aug 2019
Counting steps, watching you fly
I can’t catch your wind
It’s gone in a deep billowing sigh
Seeing your wide smile, but I am thick skinned
So, your scattering insults will bounce away
Into the dark halo around you
Did I really want you to stay?
Go, leave these happy days, so very few
I won’t be sad, no tears will wet my cheek
I can breathe deep again, I can take a breath
I can become the strong, leave the meek
Rise up from this suffocating death
So, fly away, find another path, Leave
Without a glance behind, I won’t be there
Waving in sorrow, I will not grieve
For now, suddenly my dancing has flare
And I can laugh out loud, sing off key
Find friends that you pushed away
For they saw, what I now can see
Me. Without you. This is my first day
Amanda Jul 2019
You carry me softly on a sweet melody
So clear, it cries with the wonder
Of innocence, born into a blue fringed day
I feel the vibration of my heart-strings and see
Loves poetry begin to stir
And your eyes hold me, they say
Everything

I was living a dream of existence, it was true
Happy on my independent rock
Treading through the dating tide
Seeing so many, wanting to be you
You, who brought this life change shock
Lost my wits, as the walls were stripped aside
Baffling

Softly, as a sigh that swung like a hammer blow
You spoke and I was suddenly deaf to the world
Only your voice filled this earthly plane
I was the gravity for your living blinding glow
In its growing warmth, my closed heart unfurled
Like petals welcoming the sun, putting on a show
Startling

I could lose my way in your forest brown gaze
As they look deep, into the soul of me
No-where to hide, my secrets all laid bare
I can foresee the future of my days
Can you read my mind, can you see
A love entwined, so pure and rare
Everlasting
Amanda Jul 2019
Eyes open onto a damp Tuesday
One dismal day out of the seven
Where clouds heavy with rain, stay
Blocking the promise of a summer heaven

I can smell the static of a brewing flash
And a false calm brings a hush to natures chatter
A boom breaks the silence, lit by a lightning clash
Storms in summer are worse, but does it matter?

Joy of chasing the rain in puddle splashes
Was a childhood game, and I still recall
Bright lightning sizzles and thunder bashes
As our laughter challenged the electric fireball

Heroic and rash, we ran with the changing wind
Years and years of foolish choices
Grown from our parents disciplined
Hand, we began to speak with our own voices

But storms can twist lives and how they change
Pulled apart onto different tracks
I saw you fall into a world dark and strange
You lived with strangers, zombie insomniacs

Laughter left your eyes, leaving them dark and hollow
I tried, I did, to show you that there was another way
But where the pack leads, you follow
You didn’t see me, had nothing to say

But like the storm, I always will look for the spark
That lighting bolt, that will bring you the strike
Of reality, so you can see a way out from the dark
And I will be here to help you back into the light
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