ac - Hello Poetry

ac Jul 28

everyone loves a good joke
so here’s something funny
everyone finds it so easy to open up to me
they tell me there deepest secrets and sufferings
their agony and pain
i never asked for it to be this way
to know these things
to be trusted with everyone’s pain
it’s driving me insane
all these secrets i have to hold
at this point i don’t want to grow old
i have to hold my pain inside
i’m supposed to be strong
and make sure the others
don’t try to die
it’s so not fair
i have more horrors than all of them combined and multiplied
i keep it to myself
be sure that no one knows
i’m the only one to trust
but i don’t trust myself
i don’t know what it’s like to be whole
i’m the therapist
always alone
on my own
until someone needs me to hold
i don’t want to grow old
not like this
between heaven’s harsh hiss
and hell’s sweet bliss
i have to whisper my secrets into the abyss
everyone loves a good joke!
isn’t it funny
everyone needs me
but i’m the one in need

#therapistfriend

Jul 28

Soph

Just One Look

It takes one look into your eyes,
and I can tell you're not alright.
The words you don't say aloud
lay heavy on your chest at night.
Every time you cry
I wish I was allowed
to give you a reason why,
a will to live, a will to fight.
I want you to be alright.

It took one look into your eyes
to know you would rise
high into the sky
after you said your last goodbye.

To the ones I couldn't save, and the one I still hope to.

#grief #loss

Jul 28

alia

Instructions for Falling Apart

Step 1: Smile.
Step 2: Forget why.
Step 3: Keep your voice steady
when your soul is not.
Step 4: Pretend it’s fine.
(Everyone else is.)

Step 5: Fold your feelings
into paper birds.
Set them loose.
Watch them burn mid-air.
Clap softly.
Repeat.

There is no final step.
You just keep going
until you don’t know
what breaking feels like anymore.

Jul 28

Twisted Poet

What if i can't

do you ever tell your parent that what if you can't do it and all they say is "I know you will". No mum. What if I can't ? what if I disappointed you? what about my guilt? where do I keep this feeling? why is it so heavy? what if i fail? what then? will you still think of me as your brightest kid? will you still use me as an example for my siblings? will i be an example? what if i couldn't be that intelligent always making you proud kid? what if i fail mum? why is this feeling so heavy? where do I keep it mum? What if i fail?

#burntout #giftedchild

Jul 28

Twisted Poet

To be a God

I was a gifted child. Until I wasn't. I was the golden girl. Until I couldn't burn anymore.
My parents expected me to build wings of gold and fly further than anyone could ever try. I don't blame them, having a child to raise is like sculpting a clay ***, you can shape it the way you like, paint it the color you fancy. To raise a child is to play God. To raise a child is to be God.
But to be a child is to fall, to make mistakes, to fail. The thing about being too bright at an early age means you burn out by the time you're 16 and suddenly the world around you becomes more gray and terribly, terribly lonely. The fire is never warm enough, nothing is ever enough. And one day you find yourself begging to a godless sky, begging for a new spark.

ac Jul 28

11:11

11:11
make a wish
something i’ve said since i was a kid

“what’d you wish for?”
the same question always asked
“i bet you wished for…”
the guesses flood in

“an A on the test”
“money in your pocket”
“for —— to like you”

i laugh and chuckle
if only they knew
i wish for one thing
it’s always the same

for the aching pain to go away
for the agony to cease
for me to have one night where my brain is at peace

i just want a break
for my breathing to maybe cease
and for my body to be at peace

but you can’t tell them that
if you say it
your wish won’t come true
so i just say
“for me to have back the boy i once knew”

11:11
make a wish

#1111 #wish

Jul 28

kortu valentine

not a date.

i told my friend,
it wasn’t like that.
we said — agreed —
this still wasn’t a date.

then you sat down
with a coffee,
making me forget
every careful phrase,
every non-confession
i’d whispered to my mind.

we wandered the city
until sundown,
as if we didn’t know
every corner of it.
and when the night
started to settle,
i offered you an out —
you had plans.
you just smiled,
waving them away.

neither of us knew
what we then began.

because i told my friend
it wasn’t like that.
but now i’m not sure
what i was trying to defend.

this one’s about the kind of almost that lingers longer than it should.
July 25, 2025

#date #dating #newlove #love #relationship #attraction #almost #memory #lookingback #denial