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I am darkness.
I wear the mask of sunny mornings
But dark shadows seep around the edges.

I am storm clouds.
I masquerade as blue sky days
But the cows out in the fields lay down.

I am a somber dirge
Though my speakers play a happy song
It’s always in a minor key.

I am tomorrow.
While I can’t untangle from today
I waft the scent of yesterday.
                     ljm
I have oberved that when it's about to rain in farm country, most of the milk cows out in the pasture lay down. I don't know why. They won't tell me.
 Jun 2021 Raven Feels
D Thornhill
achieved the art of
becoming extremely quiet

achieved the art of
never wishing to engage

achieved the art of
wanting to be left alone

achieved the art of
becoming a wallflower

achieved the art of
wanting to be overlooked

achieved the art of
dreaming of things never done

achieved the art of
comfortably holding back

achieved the art of
observation, listening

achieved the art of
living as an introvert
with peace of heart, mind, and soul
©️ dt + b
 Jun 2021 Raven Feels
Nobody
Apathy
 Jun 2021 Raven Feels
Nobody
The whole world is broken,
and all those dreamers who carry on
walk like blindfolded fools to their own demise
you see there really isn't any reason
and if you find one, you've sold yourself a lie
we disguise our disappointment in life with
dreams and chasing happiness that doesn't exist
because really, all that exists is a lonely world
where we can't escape from our solitude
barred from knowing why, but it's just a dream isn't it?
it's whatever you want to tell yourself,
I can't accept the silence, because I hear your voice
and I know right behind it's refusal, is everything
so it's never going to be alright

so disappear into this dream and fool yourself,
for happier tomorrows, but everything you chase
boils down to variations of a simple feeling
one that mask's the pain, so all your struggle
to obtain such a simple thing, is wasted
when you could just as easily manipulate that feeling
with a simple chemical.
 Jun 2021 Raven Feels
Nobody
What does it mean to exist? How absurd this experience!
If life leads me in any direction; it is a pursuit to understand
How beautiful, maddening; that this life shrines through the darkness
lighting up the universe in all it's infinite diversity.

This moment spirals through time, winding; un-winding and falling to ashes,
it's like a beautiful song, a symphony so complex just to hear it's faint echo
is to stare god in the eyes; it is a dance; and I've been dancing forever
seeing just how far ahead I can run; before I catch me.

You see I want to capture the truth; and bottle it for my pleasure;
like holding a flame in a jar; just to say I found you; and I'll never let you go.

The trouble in capturing something so beautiful; is the moment it's no longer free
it ceases to be beautiful; ceases to be it'self, like a butterfly that's lost it's wings.

But I feel drawn, compelled, like a ghost being beckoned by a distant voice;
and I must find the other side of this tug; this pull.

I imagine a truth so complete, that I could die in that instant forever fulfilled;
and I must have it, even if doing so causes my complete annihilation.

For I will have seen the mind of god.
 Jun 2021 Raven Feels
Nobody
Reality
 Jun 2021 Raven Feels
Nobody
What is there to do when your mind's a mess?
The worlds a farce and everything is just too much.
I hide my face in worlds hardly seen, where reality is thin
and gods and demons roam in-between.

For me peace is only found in dreams, or when
there's a disconnect between myself and the world
usually found in a dose or ten of my favorite pill.

Solitude has been my best friend since I entered
this world, and much hasn't changed, I see the roles
know the cues, but I've never felt like I belong

Often times when I'm feeling blue, I can even lose myself
in my favorite tunes. Eventually I have to face it
you know', the one thing that never ceases.

“Reality is that which when you stop believing in it doesn't go away.”

And there it is, the thing we all must face, in differing ways
and in changing paces, eventually we all must face our inner demons
and I must say they have many faces.
 Jun 2021 Raven Feels
Nobody
By the time you take a look, it's gone
fleeting moments ride out their days
in the oceans of my mind

The *** of gold luring me to the end
is as much a phantom, as the rainbow road
leading me there

And the many detours into hell
leave me a little bit lighter each time
and perhaps I should be more wary
of peace, than of the many torments
that seem to be blocking my way

for if I ever find lasting peace, I've probably
traded the truth, for a very beautiful dream.
 Jun 2021 Raven Feels
Nobody
There's a universe inside the mind,
distinct from what comes in from the eyes
and the ears and the skin.

It's echos move like ripples over disturbed water
and it speaks in momentary flashes of thoughts
emotions, feelings.

It's en-caged by our own limited ideas, and concepts
but when you set it free, it begins to come alive
it moves like a tree sprouting fourth from a seed

There's a universe inside your mind, and you'd never know it
because the moment you try to capture it, all you've caught
are the feathers of the beautiful bird as it flies away.
A child found her soul mate
beneath the tears of her eyes
so she kept them in jars of clay
with sighs and gentle cries
wishing the days away
till that day when they would meet
and gift him the collected tears
in the jars when they would greet
Lifting lids from off the jars
he would hear the cry of her heart
pouring them into his soul
she wish washed his will to part
 Jun 2021 Raven Feels
Leone Lamp
I'm so angry
I'm seeing red
I'm screaming profanities
Inside my head
My blood is boiling
My ears shoot steam
I look like a cartoon
But I just feel mean
I just want to smash
Everything
I want to slam and curse
And rave and sing
All the songs that sound real mad
All the words that get out the bad
All the anger I've ever had
I want to roll it all
Into a giant ball
And destroy the ball
In front of you all
To burn up my anger
And watch the ashes dissolve.
I'm fine, thanks for asking.. But really, I'm not angry at the moment, I just felt like writing down how I feel when I am. I dunno, I generally stay pretty calm and collected, but when things build up these are the feels.

~05/17/2021
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