Those sometimes
those moments of time….
I’ve Had My Times.
I’ve had my times….
times of feeling loss, pain, hurt
times of wanting to run, to leave
to go far away where nobody knows me…
there was a time when i was carefree, loving life
and in one moment,
in one little moment, it was gone.
i’ve been beaten down, i’ve had my innocents ripped away
[fifteen-year abusive marriage] [***** at sixteen]
i’ve cried a river or maybe it’s been an ocean of tears….
[pain consumed my life for many years]
i’ve felt the hand of death too many times
my soul has bled, my heart….. has known much pain
i’ve looked through windows of dark blue
seen streaks of red…
pondered black holes…
have had days of staying in bed…
sometimes i’ve wanted the world to just go
leave me behind
let me be, let me die….
BUT……
I’ve had those moments of time when….
i’ve held new life in my hands
heard the beauty of a newborns cry
i’ve seen the beauty of an ocean sunset
gazed wondrously at sea spirits’ dancing on the water
i’ve breathed deeply in the fresh mountain air
felt the softness of a breeze
like gentle fingers moving through my hair
i’ve seen the old find new love
an amazing magical sight to see…
i’ve watched my children build beautiful lives
not always perfect but, full of hopes and dreams.
i’ve learned to give through my pain
i’ve seen and felt passion
i’ve walked through fire
and found true beauty on the other side.
i look for beauty every day, even when it’s hard to do
i let love flow to every part me
giving the best to you.
i let it consume me because falling into the depths
of the demons of my past, would destroy
that part of my soul i have fought so hard to get back
to keep, so i let love, passion, and beauty consume me.
And I Forever Will…..
~
A sweet release we give our heart
from pain of past that tore apart,
relief that only one can find
when hearts we let, become unconfined
to leave behind those stormy skies
letting self-love baptize…
~