SWebster

SWebster Mar 2020

A Lesson

That pain you feel?
Those nails digging into your skin?
That blade you feel?
It’s for you.
It’s to teach you that it’s your fault.
You should know better
You should care less
And you are stupid for not learning by now.

#selfharm #selfloathing #anger

SWebster Mar 2020

Self-Portrait

Mud brown eyes and bent nose
***** skin and straggly hair.
Calls unanswered
Ignored and unwanted.
2D, flat, plain and uninteresting.
Nothing to contribute
A collection of roles, services rendered
And monotony personified.
Empty, devoid and boring.

Why I chose to write this about myself I don’t know but here we are.

#selfloathing

SWebster Feb 2020

Easy smile

There you sit
In your leather jacket.
Lips around a bottle of beer
Easy smile and smirking eyes.
I can’t help but walk over
And lay myself bare
Leaning across
Just to touch.
Skin on skin.
Lips brushing your ear
I do not whisper sweet nothings
But whisper scenes of obscenity
Visions of submission.
I feel your breath quicken as I move away
Hoping you will follow.

#fire #desire #valentines

SWebster Feb 2020

Love in the Wintertime

Our love in the Wintertime
has passed through the Spring, Summer and Autumn.
Our love in the Wintertime
is frozen underneath layers of mistrust, hurt and anger.
Our love in the Wintertime
has been drenched in ice
petrified into silence where no-one speaks .
Our love in the Wintertime
is hibernating, waiting for the spring sunlight
to thaw these bitter hearts.
Our love in the Wintertime
has frosted over,
withered in the Autumn to die in the Winter.

#ending #relationships

SWebster Feb 2020

Pretending

Thread the needle
Tie the knot
There’s the wound
Pulsing hot
Pierce the flesh
Shut the cut
It’s infected
Festering but
No longer bleeding
At least not now.

Let’s pretend it’s all ok as long as we can plaster over the cracks, what’s there to talk about?

#relationships #hopeless

SWebster Feb 2020

Exhausted

Exhaustion tears through my heart
My mind stutters over thoughts
My lungs ache from breathing
And I’m itching for emptiness.

#nomore #icant #imtired

SWebster Jan 2020

I Can’t

I cannot understand
what to do with
these emotions.
So intense, too much.
I can’t breath I can’t scream I can’t shout.
My voice has been choked from me,
Strangled. Silenced.
The rage- burning, wrapped around me, laughing.
So I breathe the only way I can: bleeding red, blue and purple.
The air escapes
And the fury retreats to watching and waiting.

#suffocating #lost #selfharm