When you say that you miss me
I pause, I can’t bring myself to tell you
That I’m no longer capable
Of getting attached to someone
For my heart is locked away
Afraid to be in the hands
Of someone who could easily
Let it slip through their fingers like sand
And pretend they never touched it in the first place
So I tell you I miss you too
Though I’m not sure if I really do
I built up walls no one can see
You think you gotten through to me
But I am a closed book, hidden away
Locked in The highest of towers
Behind the strongest of doors
All alone, and when you think
You’ve found the key
You’re only seeing the book
That I want you to see
The one decorated with the good things
So I’m not as bad as I seem
Last night you told me you’ve never seen me cry
There are very few people who’ve seen me cry
I must be “a strong independent young woman” you say chuckling
I think back to the last time I cried infront of someone
It’s been a while, I remember the silent tears
Streaming down my face, I was not bawling
I don’t cry a lot, but to call myself strong
Would make me a fraud
I am a coward hidden
Behind false walls and fake windows,
Trap floors and locked doors
But I thank you for your compliment anyway
Then I think of the last time I cried
I had broke down, fallen to pieces
I was alone, letting myself wallow
For two hours I sat there
Staring out my window
Just letting my tears be free
I cannot let myself be vulnerable
For if I do, I will fall apart even more
The truth is a scary thing,
It can destroy even the strongest
It can cause a whole being
To crumble with as much as one word
I suppose that is why
I lie to myself
To keep me from shattering
I play my cards safe
To avoid the hurt
But somethings are inevitable