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These tears shan't fall,
my feelings are better as a rock

Try as I might,
when I break these moss-covered walls,
it'll just spew out a fruit salad of words,
along with the wretched dam,
that I've tried so hard to seal off.

So, being numb might be the best for me,
because I cannot pour these feelings out
without being mixed.
Simple is really hard
In almost any regard
I can never forget that day, when i
woke up to the note,
That you have left us, that you are
not with us anymore,

Sitting on my bed, all I could
do was cry,
That I didn’t get to see you
and say goodbye,

I think of you every day through all the
good memories we made,
And how things would have been different
if you had stayed,

But I still regret not being there,
And as I am writing this, I want you to
read it and tell me that you are
near somewhere,

You told me to look at the stars
whenever I miss you,
And that in one of them you shall be
living, and so I do,

But every time I look at that star,
I can’t help but think, did you really
had to go so far?
Nov 2021
Remembering you thatha…
11.07.2019
Pale riders ride
upon the crest of a wave,
favoring chance that
happenstances along the way.
Screeching wheels of endeavor
proclaims the day.
They pronounce on a hum
the daily turn of the day.
I

         w          a        n           t



                   t                   o


                          b      e




f
   o
      u
         n















d.
Indonesia, 19th February 2022
Arif Aditya Abyan Nugroho
There's a special place in my heart for people like you

The one that makes me not trust genuinely nice people

The one that makes me feel like I will never be good enough

The one that makes me feel undeserving of love
I don't want anybody's pity
or donations to my losses.
I've been young and pretty.
I've been nailed to crosses.
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