I cant remember
Who I am
What I've done
Or where I've been
Its too painful
The twist and turns
To swallow whole
Those ashes urned
If im not
Numb
I must be
Dumb
A fly
A crumb
Master of
None
I must be
Insane
With an empty
Brain
A shell of
Pain
Without a
Name

Whats the point of life
        

          When you cant do anything right

Sometimes
when I look at old pictures of you,
I cant remember you.
I cant remember
what used to look like
or what your face would look like now if it was looking back at me.
Because when I see you,
I see the sadness.
The sadness that I feel
without your presence
and the sadnes
that took you away from me.
I see the life you lived
that many times I couldn't be a part of.
I see the silence
that housed your suffering,
but also the joy that you gave
to every person that has passed through you.
I see the empty chair on my wedding day
and the vacant arms around my children.
I see myself reaching for you
and crying your name when I'm alone and forgotten.
So when I look at you,
I dont see your face.
I dont see your gray hairs
or brown eyes or fake smile.
I see your past,
and my future
and everything in between 
and I miss it.
I miss you.

Fire
Keeps burning
Smoke
Kisses
The night sky
The world
Doesnt stop
Turning
Never
Has the sun
Not risen
Forever
I will be yearning
For the leaves
To stop
Falling
The wolves
To stop
Calling
Its
Better
To sleep
In cold
Weather
But the phones
Wont stop ringing
And my
Head
Wont stop
Singing
A letter
To the
Universe:
I would
Appreciate
A small
Break.

You are
My first [puppy].
My first [dog].

I never thought
I could look at someone like you
And know,
Truly know,
That nothing else matters
But you.

That time will keep moving,
And problems will keep growing.
But what's important
Is the
Here
And Now
With you.

Thank you
For reminding me
That love
Is all I need
To be happy.