Kelsey

Kelsey Jan 22

Tonight I ask God
Why?
What makes me less
Worthy of carrying a
Child
Than parents that
Never wanted
Their kids?
I,
A woman clean of
Smoke and drink and scandal,
Must walk through
Hell
To get what I want,
Whilst others
Traumatize their offspring
With their chaos.
I see the mirror image
Of what I desire
Almost every day.
Yet,
Those that have it,
Have not gone through
What I, God,
Have gone through.
You know this better
Than anyone.
Yes,
I know
I'm not
Perfect.
But what about me
Yields my ability
To create life?
To create it for you, God
Why
Must I feel
This broken?

All I can do is trust You

Struggling with infertility is hard.

#infertility #depression #hardship #god

Kelsey Dec 2024

Writing is an Experience

I want my writing
To be profound
A work of art you just
Want to hang on your wall
And when you look at it
Day in and out
The words will seep
Back through your skin
And melt in your heart
And suddenly, you feel
Like someone you've never met
Knows you better than
Your closest companions
And somehow that's okay
Because now you know
You've never been alone.

I've finished the first draft of my novel. What I want most is to make an impact on those who read it and to know that my words matter.

#writing #dreams #art #depression #expression

Kelsey Dec 2024

Becoming

Rain beats outside my window
The only sound lulling me to sleep
In this dark, cute apartment
I wonder how I might earn my keep

The black shadows hold me close
Keeping me warm when the night burns cold
I create to show my strength
Before my young skin becomes too old

How might the world observe me
When I emerge from this tight cocoon
With a laundry list of dreams
And no history of silver spoons

The light tells me to be brave
Because the dark won't last forever
My journey has just begun
With no ties left for me to sever

Fortune favors the bold

Kelsey Aug 2024

I'm Tired

I'm tired.
Tired of
The same draining thoughts
Tired of
The same back and forth
Hatred then compassion
Tired of
Knowing what's right
And still doing what's wrong
Tired of
Beating myself up
For what's out of my control
Tired of
Mistaking clouds
As bad omens
Tired of
Telling myself it's okay
Just relax, you're okay
I'm tired of
Not writing poems
To make myself feel better

I'm just
tired.
So I guess I'll sleep.

#tired #latenight #depression #anxiety

Kelsey Jul 2024

I Thought You Died

I thought you died
Disappearing like a ship in the night
No trace of you
Just a note saying goodbye
Then you appeared
Like some kind of magic trick
And everything was okay
You said you just went away for a little while
And I was angry
And sad
And elated that you returned to me
That you didn't end your life in the company of no one
That we could rebuild and restart
And you embrace me and tell me that you're sorry
And I tell you it's okay, I just thought you died
So we leave it behind us and move forward together
Both alive.

Then I woke up.

Kelsey Mar 2024

Words

Language is so beautiful
So strong
The most powerful thing a person has
Is their words
The ones they speak
The way they say them
When they say them
The ones they keep hidden
Words have the power to change minds
They have the finesse to draw out emotions
They have the ability to flip the world upside down
Or right side up
Words are like candy
They can be sweet
Or sour
They are like the sky
Stormy
Or clear
Words can eat you up from the inside
Or destroy you from the outside
There is nothing more simple yet potent that exists
Words rule the world
So choose yours carefully

#words #language #power #beautiful

Kelsey Jan 2024

Who Are You?

Like a sandcastle built
With the ash from a flame
You're a monster inside
Masking all of your pain

Yes, you do.
It's not you.

Like the void of the world
You can't run, you can't hide
Then you promised to change
Now you're on a back slide

So, whats new?
Who are you?