I know my texts don't excite you anymore,
But you are polite enough to reply it anyway
And if I call you, you'll receive it too
But I know you cringe when you hear my voice
Just for the night , you needed me
Just for that one night
The night's already over
But I m not over you yet

I remember everything, so clearly in my head
How beautifully you sang, & I sang along with you
How you made me laugh, laugh & laugh so hard
How you held my hands & we tried to dance
How your lips blew life to my cold and dry spirit
How the butterflies in my stomach fluttered
How my cheeks turned crimson and I looked away
But you kept on staring at me
Like  you wanted to fall in love...

I did not undress my body that night,
I undressed my soul
I put it right in front you
Just in its purest form
I let you see me,
See all my imperfections
I told you all my fears,
The secrets I hid inside,
I thought this is it,
This is what I had been looking for,
My soul was happy
And thought it had found "THE ONE"

Little did I know, it was only for the night
Just for that one night
So tell me who do I blame?
Blame you for setting up my hopes high
Or blame me for believing the truth like lie
Or should I just blame the night?
The night for lasting just awhile.......

Swallowing makes my lips crack and bleed.
I can’t remember my last smile, I can barely breathe.
Every breath produces a sting, that burns
through my chest leaving my body weak.
I try to keep walking but all I feel is an ache.
My eyes can’t focus, I'm going to be sick.
I don’t know how to function in this place,
nothing makes sense.
It's so hard to lift my legs or stand up straight,
my throat is dry I don’t know how much
more heat I can take.
My face is scorched, I'm miserable and worn.
I've been limping through miles of hell.
I can't tell if I'm turning to ash
or starting to melt.
Strong winds keep blowing sand
straight up to the sky,
then I try not to stumble
as I rub my eyes.
I’m so tired from traveling
through the desert of my mind.

Lying here reminiscing about the time we had,
you made me smile and my heart fluttered in my chest.
I think how nobody can make me laugh anymore,
but imagining about the past never helps
or the constant daydreams of death, I keep to myself.
I’m so restless from wrestling with these thoughts in my head,
they're too loud and piercing, paralyzing me to my bed.
I’m busy listening to the soothing whispers, that all want me dead.
Looking for the coast to be clear, so I don't have to be fake again.
Since the mumblings remain, to sting and heighten all the pain.
I try and write out the disturbing sounds to keep them at bay,
waiting for the right moment to come when I can drain my brain.

Your head feels foggy
you sense yourself unwind,
It’s the same dreadful demons
toying with your mind.
They wait till it’s dark
or the lights are down low,
unnerving sickly attacks
through your blood and bones.
You can’t hide your black heart
the demons can see,
they don’t allow any space
in your head to breathe.  
They tear your reason to shreds
you need fixing.
A worn stone sinking
in an ocean that’s rotting,
you decay miserably since
you're forced to bend the knee.
How much more agony
can the universe bring.
Not even your screams
can get you out of the cold,
and you’d rather give up
and drown,
than go it alone.