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Lily X Jun 2018
I haven’t tidied in a while.

Clothes coat my floor in a strategic mayhem; makeup rocks on its side, contents slowly seeping out.
Medication lays scattered, dots of colour in the ocean of obsidian.

I think I see you in the madness.
Your essence.
One of the last places you breathed in.

Maybe I think that when I clear away the buried floor, I will find you beneath the fabric.
Lily X Jun 2018
In that moment I wonder,
did you ever feel it?
The excited humming of the Earth and
the caressing breeze that drifted through the house.
The way the Sun brightened.
The way every metronome in the home sped up, like a competition between them.

Did you even feel it?

The way time would falter as you stepped foot in the door, hesitating for just a moment.
How gravity seemed to double, intent on bringing your body to mine and succeeding every time.

No, I guess not.
Lily X Jun 2018
I didn't move for a long time, well after the last carriage had disappeared into the horizon. I felt as though, if I moved, I would crack. I would crumble to the ground like shattered pottery - as hollow as I felt.

I was once art that you had crafted with your bare hands. Now I am just the membrance of our destruction.

I thought I would cry.

I didn't.

I couldn't. I just stood there, helpless. What could I do? I wanted to scream, to rage, to curse the sun and its stars for this horrid crime. I wanted to yell about how unjust this was, how unfair.

But I didn't. I just stood there, wishing I could turn back time.
Lily X May 2018
I knew it was over
when every good thing you did felt like a trap.
Lily X May 2018
fingertips and freckles and frosty smiles.
how you would whisper your secrets even though it was just you and I.
do you whisper to yourself now?
or do you whisper to somebody else?

the patterns you’d trace on my spine,
fingers walking marathons.
you always could make me breathless.
the way you looped your ‘l’s and your run-on sentences that always made me giggle.

your pout and your warm breath and your insecurities.
you paid more attention to them than me.
you were an artist but I was not your muse.
life was and I guess I was just a background painting.

I think of you sometimes.
when I taste kiwi or when that song comes on that you liked but I never remembered the name to.
or when it’s windy and raining and I don’t have your coat to shield me.

I hope you’re happy and that one day, I can be too.
Lily X May 2018
We act like adults,
but we are only children
who’re playing dress-up.
  May 2018 Lily X
Anivas Forrester
Time of death:
3:44.
When you told me you don't love me anymore.
Place of death:
The park where we met,
on a lazy Sunday afternoon.
I remember the dreaded words which escaped your lips,
the heat in your words,
the look on your face,
as I took a metaphorical bullet to the chest;
it hurt like Hell.
Cause of death:
You.
When you stabbed me in the heart for the first
and last time.
A fatal blow.
But in the coroner's office,
all the report will ever show is:
time of death:
3:44.
Cause of death:
Trauma to the chest.
When your heart gets broken by someone, it feels like you've been struck in the chest. The air feels like it's been knocked right out your lungs and you feel as though you can't breathe. You feel a mixture of emotions all blurred into one mess. You play the final exchange in your head over and over again, and each time it gets harder and harder. Heartbreak. It feels like you've been stabbed in the back and shot in the chest all at once.
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