is what i asked people in my grade today, including teachers.

what i got surprised me.

i got a lot of " you're a sarcastic little *****, love you though"
i would just laugh it off. even though i wished that they knew that do that for a reason. it's all an act.

i got a " you're really cool and i wish i hung out with you more."
i didn't really respond to that one since i didn't like the person. i just told her " i don't like you, please don't hang out more." i'm blunt, sorry.

i got a " your sense of humor is extremely distinctive and that's rare. i wish i had that at your age." from my reading teacher.

but i think the most important one was from my best friend.

" you saved me before you even knew i was suicidal, just by calling me and asking i was okay because you knew something was off. truth is, i was writing my suicide notes that day, you stopped me. i love you, alexa marie."

i cried and hugged her with everything in me.

i love that girl and if she went through with it i think i would've died myself.

He made sure I knew just how lucky I was to have him
But he never hit me
He played games with my emotions repeatedly
But he never hit me
He made sure I didn’t leave the house in a skirt above the knees
But he never hit me
He knew the words to say to make me feel so small that I could not breathe
But he never hit me
He tossed me in and out, in and out, until my mind was in an out of control tizzy
But he never hit me
He messed around on the side late at night while I rested in our bed
But he never hit me
He made it clear that I wasn’t to go out at night with the girls
But he never hit me
He told me over and over again just how hard it would be to find anyone else to deal with me
But he never hit me
He fell asleep safe and sound as I laid in bed trying to catch my breath through tears
But he never hit me
He needed to have the password to every device, app and account
But he never hit me
He knew the power he held and used it over my head to weaken me
But he never hit me
He made jokes at my expense in front of friends and family and we all giggled together instead of cringed
But he never hit me
He assured me the women he texted were coworkers or colleagues but I could never know what they spoke of
But he never hit me
He made it clear that my interests and goals were not of pertinence
But he never hit me
He knew the exact words to say to take my entire day downhill
But he never hit me
He broke my heart over and over and over again until it was minuscule shreds
But he never hit me