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 Sep 2020 Aylin
Ciel Noir
 Sep 2020 Aylin
Ciel Noir
you are shipwreck
and disaster

cursed no matter what I do

you are the maelstrom
and the monster

every storm leads back to you
 May 2020 Aylin
The Wonderess
They say that I’m
Too much to

Yet they never seem
To handle me with

They say that I’m
Unable to

Yet they break it the
Moment I’m not

They say that I’m
Far too

Yet they won’t
Help me

They say I’m
Cold and

Yet they ignore
What I

They say that I‘m
unable to

Yet they are the
Ones who can’t

They say I’m
Afraid of

Yet there is
so much to
Sometimes people make as though we are unable or unwilling to love yet  they and others have treated us in a way that has made us so apprehensive to lend our hearts out. Love is a two way street...
 May 2020 Aylin
 May 2020 Aylin
As I ran on this cloudy day
I felt the suns warmth, despite of the grey skies
A prime example showing that i will rise

It’s a cloudy day, but I can still see the light
That is awaiting me even at night

I ran and ran and I felt your presence in me
Each pace I took, i felt the the shackles set free

I will not give up
I will make it to the finish line

As I cross the line of victory
I praise you

Thank you God, for making me shine
Even in this cloudy day
 Jul 2018 Aylin
she gave me her nudes
she was bare
and naked
and so out
and open
and i willingly
accepted it
because it wasnt the nudes
that showed her body
the physical aspects
that made her beautiful
it was the words
she didnt choose
and the spontaneity
that left her
either from her lips
or her fingers
or ink

she was as bare
as her nudes
and i accepted
her for her.
10:02 PM 5/1/2018
 Jul 2018 Aylin
Edmund black
Love saved my life
It wasn’t long ago
when I received the call
I remember it like yesterday
It was bed time
ready to crashed when the
township called
expressing my brother had expired
someone had took his life
shot him in the head
At that very moment
my entire life shattered
into a million pieces
nowhere to be found
Quickly I rushed to
the hospital in the
hope maybe he was
still breathing, still moving
but the outcome
was everything but that
Few days after
we’ve put him to rest
in his last resting place
he was only nineteen
Felt like a dream
refused to believed
i prayed to God
to not allowed it  be true
when I awake
day dreaming
But sooner and later
you always always
have to wake up
Hatred strengthened
to a point
I was ready for war
with whomever involved
Strapped ready to fight
when I realized because
of my faith this wasn’t
the way for I’ll rot in hell
Not long after
depression  kicked in
started hearing voices
all through my head
I didn’t recognized
whispering to me
It was time to joined him
my brother to a better place
I remember
I sat in my car
with my glock clacked back
against my temple
ready to pulled
the trigger
when my phone
vibrated  and said
It was from love
I decided to answered
and told her my story
had no more desire
to live This was
my good bye
Then I started crying
and she cried along with me
and prayed with me
tell me to come home  
she’ll make this better
she didn’t want to lose me
in a word
she was carrying my son
which I’ve heard
for the first time ever
It was at that moment
when  my life started over
a clean slate at a new life
and still today
our love has
grown stronger
she showed me the
love I always needed
this  woman is the
reason I did not drown
In my depression
In my sorrow
In my anger
Everyday she came
looking for me
I knew how blessed
I am to have her
in my life today
This is my reason
I care for those
Who haven’t find
love and have no one
to call their own
Because truly I truly
don’t know what
would I do today
without my wife
in my life for
She is my treasure
and the reason
this is my reason
I’ll always choose
Elena I’m Forever Grateful And Honor You With All My Heart .... The Power Of Love!
 Jul 2018 Aylin
Andrew Durst
My death will be liberating.

And I do not say that in the sense
that I am going to find a cliff
and take a good jump off.


I am just trying to find a
clever way to tell you

that I do not know what is going
to happen next.

You see,

there is a
fine line
dreaming and


I am finding out for myself
that being in love
does not always

being awake.

And for my sake
I fall in love with daydreams,
hazy realities

the hung-over idea

of not being enough.

It is all out of my hands.
                 It is all out of time.

And the only thing I have left to do,

is decide.
Thank you to anyone that reads this.
 Jun 2018 Aylin
I prey on this depression.
Twisted thoughts in my head
Drowning in my emotions
I want out.
I want to let go of these feelings.
Lock them up and throw away the key.
My mind can’t take it anymore.
Am I going crazy?
I search for pain.
I almost crave it.
My demons are my only friends.
Maybe this is why these feelings won’t go away.
The darkness brings me peace.
No one around.
No one to disappoint.
Just me.
I let the darkness take over years ago.
The demons took over a once happy and bright woman.
Now I’m twisted and dark.
All I see is pain.
This pain... it is a sickness.
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