My daughter screamed,"I hate you,
You are not my mum,
Sorry dear I am your mum,
From the day I conceived you,
A gift from Allah,
Stamped and certified by Him as your mum.
I am not your magazine to browse through,
Not your mobile that you charge and use me as you wish,
Or change as and when you want to,
Nor am I your footwear,
That you can have as many pairs as you want,
Neither am I your cook,
Nor your driver or your ATM card,
That you can cash whenever you want.
Whether you like it or not,
I am your MUM,
A relationship  that can never be erased or deleted.
Catering and caring for you is not an obligation but my love for you-my daughter.
8/11/2024

We tried to part ways
Neither a place to go
The victims of our frays
Bound in familiar woe

The hurt we each seek
Together, alone
The acid we speak
This caustic home

A prison, a cell
The confines of hate
A resulting hell
To escape a fate

They claw my heels
My attempts to escape
They broker deals
I must abdicate

I put my pen to paper
as I leave half my worries behind

Vomited the words I once engulfed,
as I realised,
they were always mine.

Is it still classed as mental health
When your tummy warns
You of impending doom
You act accordingly
Only later finding out that
your fears were real
People you wouldn’t want to meet
were in places you were ment to go
And boom was it anxiety
Or was it spiritual connection
Warning you of impending doom.

I find very little encouragement
to live my life these days,
it used to be different when I was ten.

I remember walking down this street
humming and skipping in full joy,
Like I had the juiciest fruit in all of the world
and that fruit held secrets,
carrying more than just sweetness,
It was big, golden and shiny
I think that fruit was my heart,
It was always so full.
Almost overflowing
with sickening sweetness,
exasperating energy
and a sticky smile that was always there.

I would dance around, walk fast then slow
I would roll around, talk so loud then low.
It sickens me now.
Why was I like that ages ago?
What made me so excited about life?
To wake up every day and just....live?

It sickens me even more
That I can't have that again.
It also confuses me
because what is human life
if not a change after change after change?

There are four
firewalls
in the square
attached
above his neck.