All of this
Only nonsense
Seems like were struggling just to try
And never getting anywhere

I took a thousand steps
And wound up
In the exact same spot I was before
Not a place I want to be

This may be
The last you hear of me
I'll be back again
I'll promise but I won't pretend
That I'm the same person I was before

Same place
Same face
Different man
All of this
Nonsense

It only serves to bring me down

Its my strength
In weakness
Its my hope
My blind faith
When I couldn't find god
But I still had demons
Who chase me
From building to building
They ride with me in cars
And block my view of the stars
If and when I chance to look for stars
Its my soul
Obdurate
When my body is weak
But too hard
To let the hands that hold me
Leave marks
I was always meant to be alone
I wasn't made to love
And every time I cry for help
No one hears me

I wrote a beautiful song
And sent it your direction
Because I want my art to be lost
In the abyss

You say your always there
But you were never here
You say you're listening
I know that no one hears me

I refuse
To fall into societal norms
Its either I refuse
Or I don't know how

The most beautiful place on earth
Lives in North Carolina
But
I'm not sure what place it is

Maybe its the Blue Ridge
The Stretch of parkway between Asheville and Boone
The most ancient mountains on earth
And when your there
You can see forever
And you can feel it
The spirit
The sweet breath of the world
The way its loving arms can hold you
On top of mountains
Where you can hear
Gods voice

It had to be
That the king
Lives in the Queen City

Maybe its the stretch of sand
Ralieghs lost colony
**** Devil Hills and Nags Head
Highway twelve
Where the horses run wild
And the water is so peaceful
You'd gladly drown yourself
Just to forever be a part of it all
Where the most glorious sight
Is seen from a hill
Overlooking the Atlantic
And watching the sunrise
Alone

The most beautiful place on earth
Is in North Carolina
Waiting for you to arrive

This is not a song
But you can sing along
If you know the words

We all have needs
And needs have needs
And giants made of tiny giants
Mountains made of molecules

This is not a song
But all the notes
Adhere to the same scale

We all have pain
And pain gives us something
Its a knowledge we live
Its a pain we love

This is not a song
But its musical
Its beautiful
Its deeply ingrained
In the instincts of beast
And the hopes of gods

And everyone will reach
For the stars and the moon
The dreams of higher man
Not everyone will reach

This is not a song
And we have melody
When harmony is impossible

No glasses
No rings
No tattoos
Just my skin
The skin god gave me
And if you know how to look

You'll see divine art

No glasses
I can see clearly
My contacts
Are the souls I reach
The love I give
And receive

No rings
My hands are strong
They hold the frets
And make a song
A song that god gave me
I have to sing

No tattoos
Because the scars are my art
And scars on my heart
Tell a story
About a life I used to live
And the time I died

|----------------------------------------------------------------­-----------------------------
|                                  ­                                           cal
|------------------------------------------------------------­--i------------------------------
|  I                           ­                                 Mus
|---------------------------­-----------------------------------------------------------------­-
|      Miss    The                  On  The
|------------------­-----------------------------------------------------------------­----------|
|                          --Notes--                 ­                                      --Scale--

Its been too long since I played guitar

Can't last much longer
Without a change
This life I feel is strange
Becomes unbearable
This sweater made of wasp
Unwearable
Not enough to keep me warm
Not a shelter
Only storm

And this taste in my mouth
I thought was sweet
Becomes a poison dart
Aiming for my heart
This poison invades me
It pervades me
And reaches even the parts
I tried to hide
And I want to show

This life
I have to give
This life
I have to lose
I want to win
But all it is
Is really nothing
And how can I hold on
To nothing?

I know this means nothing
Words I place in a certain way
My world I know
The questions which consume me
Its all nothing
The symbol
That rolls off the tongue
And rolls straight to oblivion
I will die yesterday
I'm sure I have
And I was born tomorrow
When my hands no longer empty
I hate that I feel now
I live on a world apart
Where even the sky has a name
As I don't
Let the teeth be crooked
Let the hair be thin
Let the bones be brittle
let the heart not beat
Let it be weak
As all I have to give
I know it means nothing
Just a sorrowful tale
Of how everything I know
Is only

It was something
When the brittle sky was colorful
And the fog lay heavy
The coldest nights
At least
I feel like stars will shine
Sometime
Or another
Skin to know you
Song to praise you
Eyes that only see the ending of the ever loving hope
I know that there is a future
I know
I know that the sun must rise tomorrow
I know
I know that the music will keep on playing
I know
That all I know now
Is nothing

Take me down a peg
Or two
Kick me in the teeth
Knock me off a pedastle
Take my broken heart
You promised you would fix
And throw it on the floor
Breaking it some more

As I walk through a field
I see a flower on the hill
I admire its beauty
I forget it comes from a seed

Nothing bad happens
Its only illusory
If I keep a cherry blossom in my heart
The singing bird will come

Tell me what you will to make me feel
Unhappy
Subjagate me
Denigrate me
Make me believe in something
Just to take it away
And in my loss
Castigate me

Nothing bad happens
Unhappiness is a vital sign
That authenticity is growing inside
Discontentment is merely the hunger pang for change

I have nothing in my hands
But......
I love you
I have nothing
But you know I'll give nothing to you
Because I'll give you everything I have
Everything I have

I know......
It could never be enough
Because my touch is priceless
But it could never buy you food
And I don't expect you starve
Just because I love you

So let this cash exchange unfeeling hands
That you may eat
Let me be lonely
When not a soul
Can love you more
My hands.......

I have nothing in my hands

And you deserve the world I'll never hold

Let's neglect
Yin and yang
Pretend they are the same
That up is left
And down is left
And nothings ever right
Front to back
Side to side
And from this bitter truth
We hide
Because the hunt is almost over
And there is nothing left to gather
Our father
Our father weeps for us
It seems we've lost our way

And when there is nothing I can say
I will let the silence be a conduit
So I can hear it clearly
The voice of god
Speaking in my thoughts
In the happenstance around me
When I don't look to make happen
But let what is to be
           Happen to me

As a song on the radio
A rainbow
The fact that there is falling rain
When I think I should feel pain
But the song about seperation
Desperation, exasperation
Is really about love
And the notes of harmony

When I don't have something to say
I should feel grateful
Because if I have nothing to say
There is nothing left unsaid

An animal wounded
Disconnected from its past
Roaming alone, cruel
Wicked with sin and set not to be moved
Fatherless

When you do not seek
You’re bound to stray
And only go as far as you’ve fallen

Night becomes a home to him
Prowling in the darkness
Hungry and fearful
Howling but unheard in empty night
Fatherless

Angry

Too prideful to plead to help

As the cathedral burned
It was death

Maybe she wants to be unhappy
Maybe its her greatest curse
As I pine and craft these lines
In so much forgettable verse
This meeting indelible
This longing incredible
These wrongs most regrettable
This distance in her mind

I close the sky
I bring the the clouds
I hold the sun
Just to crush it in my hands

You never have to pretend
Just be
You needn't open your eyes
To see
I'll love you always
Even if I can't show you
Even if I don't want to
Even if I don't know how

I jump the oceans
And swim endless roads
I'd cut off my feet
Just to walk beside you

You never have to pretend
Just be
And talk to me

I see the swimmers in a fishbowl
Leave it underwater
Leave it there if that is what
It wants to be
Who I am
Every choice I've made
And dream I held close to my heart
And my eyes
And my skin
My god
I saw with interrupted  vision
A rainbow growing poison
A rain drop as my sleeve
My hands all wet
Who i was
Every man I'll be
These different lives at any time
And my thoughts
And my truth
My god

maybe theres a way
to save me from these blues
I don't go anywhere I want to
I don't choose
can't keep my head up to the stream of cosmic music that is blissful above my head
I never find the answer there
and its dark everywhere
and even a breath is poison

now I know

this'll be the thing to save me from these blues
these blues
until the color on my walls
is bright and shining
from the window an endless wave
of purples, greens and yellows
I know
when the stereo won't play a somber tune
sounds wide and vibrant cascading through the room
until the heavens chime in and sing along

now I know

I only want
A place to be
A light to see
A god I can believe in
You took it away
God help me
I used to want
But now I need

And the shadows stretch a little longer
And they follow a little bit closer
And they climb to the walls and walkways
They've become my only friends

I used to want
Something to have
Only to hold
Something I could call my own
You took it away
God have mercy
Its only love
But now I need

Now it is winter
When everything is so big we cannot overcome
I don't even know what to want
Not that it matters anymore
I can only hope there is an angel still
Watching over me
How much im needing now
It is winter

I felt such hope
For such a long time
I watched the clouds
Gather on the horizon

Now it rains

You're afraid
If I say now or never
Its either you can't have anymore fun
(Whatever you think fun is)
Or you lose me

Well

Its now
or its never

How many places have I slept before?
With you
Without you
Within you
Forever
The music has always been magic
Much more
Maybe we find a meaning
Sleep well my dreams from the day
I couldn't find
I can't define
Some other part
Some other design

It cuts me like knives

Please smile while I bleed

So turn out the lights
Let the rain fall
As I close my eyes
And go numb

bring your hands that make the spring
now the seeds are new plants breaking through the surface of the soil
unwinding, spiral tendrils reach and hold
as when the sky becomes jewels above verdent land
flowers are now blooming
in my heart and mind

that dog who has his bone
the one you may find, manged, raoming in alleys or parking lots
half deranged, holding only to what he knows
dog and his bone
he is happy now
for him, right now will last forever

never could believe in the future
until I saw a movie about a maid
and it was only moments
switching places
we travel as witness
unindentured to the day

would only relief last forever
as when those grey clouds on the horizon
finally break over me
and all the world I know

Here it comes again
Destiny
I fight against
Fate and faith
I'm heading for an end
And maybe I deserve this pain I feel
How many times
My naked blood
Disbelief
I'll reach oblivion
And no memory shall remain

Who wants to follow me
Into oblivion?
Who believes when I say
Its the only way
To ever be truly free?

Not constrained by what we perceive
The money we need to live
The love we need to be happy

Who wants to follow me
Over the event horizon?
We can bring our light
Into the blackest hole

OblivionBlivionoLivionobI
Who wants to follow me  v
Into?                                      i
Who believes me               o
When I say                          n
Its the only way                 o        
To ever be                           b
T                                            l
  R             ­                             i
    U                             ­          V
      L                                      i
        Y       ­                            o
Free?                                   n
                                             o
Not constrained                b
By preconceived notion  l
I think you know              i
What I mean                     I
                                            o
Who wants                       n
To follow me                    o
Over the event                 b
     r   i    z                           l
  o             o                        i
h                 n?                   v
We can bring                  O
Our light                          n
Into the blackest            o
hole                                   b
                                            l
BolivianIsn'tnoiv­boNovi
                   It
                     Great
                           When
                                 Meaning
Loses all meaning

The money we NEED to live
The love we NEED to be happy

I always know
The ocean shore
The waves will never stop
I feel inside
The ocean tide
Its moving all the time
I'm pretty sure
The way I am
The sharks are lurking near
And I believe
The albatross
Is flying through the air

Its been too long
Its been a life
Its much too long
And all this time
Its been too long
Since I've seen the ocean

I cannot see
But remembering
The power of the waves
I'd give a chance
And half a ****
To be pulled in by the tide
And I don't care
If sharks are there
I'm really not afraid
And held aloft
On winds far off
I see the albatross

Its been too long
A memory
So very long
The many years
Its been so long
Since I've seen the ocean

Well this is just
A metaphor
I'm drowning on the ocean floor
I think you know
Just what I mean
Its a sight I haven't seen

Its been a long time

(Want)                              You                            (DeeN)                  ­                                  
         (to)                       My heart                   (ot)                                                      
      ­        (taste)         Are my youth        (tea)                                               ­                     
                                    (your|rouy)                 ­                                                                 ­  
                                   Your my heat                                                    
                                     (skin|naip)
                               Eye€ÿèeYeē¥eeyE                 
                                ­         EYES             
Your     Eyes   Are             o
                                 n                     c
                                       a          e
(your) (eery) (sea)

need to eat your pain                   want to taste your skin
                                  am jumping in

                              (your)                   (a)
                                           (Love)
           ­                      (is)                 (beach)
Ocean Air Subdue..........

I'm drowning on the ocean floor
While I'm down here
I might as well look for seashells

Just
For once
True light may shine
That there could never be
An end to the ocean
Only waves
Only tides
Just

Wait and wash over my body
Wait as the weight I can carry so far
Loses weight in the infinitesimal ocean
And then
There were you're eyes
There were you're dreams

Just
Right now
The shore sees the sun
And the ocean outlives us all
We are merely salt
In the water
Only shells
Just

Give as I give my into it
Live As though years are invention
Just another way the reign of man
The hopeless end
Our bones pick up blunted weapons
Fights against the rain

It's only water
And as simple as it seems
Its only water
That drowns out everything

There is life in the ocean
The lunatic laughs as she takes her life
Whence life began
We make believe it's some ending

The pickaxe was charming
And you once were whole
But the tanned laborer
Burnt brown by the sun
Made the pickaxe sing
Whistle in the wind
You felt the impact
The pickaxe once so charming
Broke you in two
These broken rocks
Fields strewn with your saddest story
About how time erodes
And the hand of man
Destroys
You were there in the beginning
The earth started spinning with you
Your witness to creation
Your abysmal ghost
You were there in the beginning
And all your broken pieces
Your bitter memory
Will be there in the end
With words unspoken
Shouting louder than the dying sun
All your broken pieces
Will be there in the end
To testify

I don’t like the ant
Or that is to say
There is something about them I don’t like
They are unthinking
They lay chemicals at dawn
And don’t stop searching until night is strong
They are unthinking
Moving unmercifully
The hive mind their meaning that I despise
Something about them
This ant will never know freedom
In nature
This worker ant both night and day
In nature
Being for the benefit of the queen
There is no laughter
Not in the cities
Not in the sprawling farms and endless roads
There is no laughter
Just hands hardened by toil
On cast iron tools and heavy machines
I don’t like the ant
They are unthinking
They searching blindy restless legs forever seek
With no imigination
The ant is just a slave
A slave who doesn’t want freedom

They are unthinking

The ant will never know laughter
In nature
The ant is just a reminder
In nature

i would rise and sing to you
i would dance and clap for you
i would chant and pray to you
i would praise you
i would love you

i remember you from when i was a child
when i was small
and lost
i knew you would still be there
my reliable friend
you would bring light

i would rise and sing to you

i remember you from when my hands grew strong
when i ruled the world
and skies
i knew you would still be there
my loyal friend
you would bring peace

i would dance and clap to you

i remember you from those prison walls
when i was hurt
and dying
i knew you would still be there
my beautiful friend
you would bring me hope

i would chant and pray to you

i remember you from when i was needing
when i searched for truth
and love
i knew you would still be there
my faithful friend
you would bring me joy

i would praise you

i remember you from when you were my lover
when i saw you come to me in the morning
and i felt it
i knew you would always be there
my radiant friend
you would bring me love

i would love you

If not for my eyes
Grown accustomed to being lost in the woods
Entrenched in the subtle darkness that is always collapsing
Without color I see gray figures in the night
But I can't imagine their faces
If not for my eyes
I would have never seen you
If not for my ears
The noise of bitter cries and longing screams
The disarranged voice of love not speaking louder than the din
Without music I can still hear melodies
But the key would keep on changing
If not for my ears
You could not speak to me
If not for my nose
The stench of life and its rotting carcass
The odeous wind of putrid odor that finds me even in fields
within the stink I still smell your perfume
But the aroma is gone to soon
If not for my nose
I could not have smelt you
If not for my tongue
Often times abrubt and razor wire
The bitter flavor of the most sour and hateful food
Only wanting of sugar and honey
But going without
If not for my tongue
I go my life without your taste
If not for my skin
These hands which hold broken glass
These frayed out nerve endings too many times feeling pain
But desirious of pleasure
Carnal knowledge
And stimulation
If not for my skin
I never would have felt you

We can stop and see the leaves
stretched out above our head
Our heads are not so high
And it's only ground we tread
My favorite part of life
Just to breathe
As I lay and watch the stars
I feel the ground beneath

Connecting me
We can stop and see the leaves
But what's connecting me
Like roots spread out in all directions
Our heads are not so high
It's the simple ground we tread
And in the soil
Our lives we toil

Yes our blood is in the soil
And I just breathe
I thank God for food to eat
I feel the ground beneath
As I lay and watch the stars
Stretched out above our heads
Our dreams are powerful
It's the simple ground we tread

My favorite part of life
Connecting me
The stars up high in heaven
The roots of mighty tree
And I just breathe
Our lives we toil
I thank God for food to eat
And in the soil

really nothing much to say...
except the tree!
I know how the roots take hold,
but we forget the soul,
so when these foul winds blow again
our hands and our hearts in-twain,
and if it's gonna fall down on me
I would rather it fall more like a leaf,
I percieve the plants in pain,
in some sort of way we even spoke.

so much sorrow in the willow
down beside the river's edge,
late at night
you can even hear her cry,
oh my lonesome weary always weeping broken willow,
you should know
you're beautiful.
you're forever

well just the other day
me and this ****
dandelion, I recall
yellow flowers, three feet tall
he was pleading I would spare him from his doom
I never guessed unwanted guest were death obessed,
consumed and stressed by paranaioa never resting
a given life unwanted test
I asked,"what would you do if you were me?"
and he said

It was perfect before I had a name
I knew she was my wing-ridden angel the very moment my eyes were blessed
she laughs when she wants to cry
and her smile
it only gets deeper
she still holds the pieces of her broken halo...

once again I talk about wolves
because everyone has their problems
yes I do
and I've seen them circling fangs out
when I closed my eyes and made my peace with god
that moment
that moment lasted forever
and ever since I left it I am only trying to get back

yes i do remember when darkness was so constant I forgot about light
yes, I know how it changed me
she was the only beautiful thing I've ever known

Heaven sent me an angel
that's the only way
I wish I was holding her now
I wish I could tell her I love her
maybe I can
once again we talk about wolves
outside its raining
I love the rain

I guess I'm older now
So my wounds don't heal as quickly

I remember
                         when
                                                              we      
                                                                      were friends
                                                  you      we                                                                                
                                                                        re my friend
Alpha
Meets
Beta

And I put myself in fire            you
As you hid yourself away                 re
I pit myself against the demons        
                                                                     present
                                                                                          ly

You can be
But I will be
PRESENT
to find any corner of darkness
With light

That old laughing man
So convinced he is a mountain
And doesn't see how time erodes
How weathered roads are beaten
Under the calamitous hammer of tires
And fall into disrepair
Or how piece by piece
The sands on the beach
Melt into the sea
And islands sink
I've seen the lunatic
Wether on the hill
Or in my heart
Or as blurry words
Scribbled and read by drunken eyes
And he was always dancing in my mind
Dancing into the fire
And unaware
Of the way hell burns

I'm too young
To feel this old

I fell once
Straight through the ground
I cratered the world with my impact
Past caves of darkness littered with gemstones
My hands could never hold
I was falling
Falling so hard that my body was breaking
And my mind was finding only new pits of despair
Down forever into the realms where demons claim to own
My home a firey tomb
And so I fell
What I thought to be eternal descent
My inertia to lead me to the depths of hell
And I thought I would stay there
Maybe forever
But still I fell
And kept falling onwards
My plummet of such immense proportion
That I fell straight through the world
To come out on the other side

And I was alright

Doing nothing
I watch time slip away from me
Irrevocably
Time once lost
Can never be found again
Doing nothing
I would rather do something
And fail
At least then
I can know I tried

And the minutes
Are all gone

Is this really real?
I read it in the news
But it is not news
It doesn't, no, it shouldn't matter to anyone
Not anyone with any sense
And we're all going in one direction
Straight to hell  
A band breaking up
Happens all the time
A band where no one plays an instrument
Is not really a band
It's not really music
And we're all going in one direction
Straight to hell
And pillow talk
Tell the little girls what they want
Because they don't know,
But sell them sin and they will buy
Without knowing why
We're all going in one direction
Straight to hell

I
Am
The greatest poet of all time
I
Speak
In a way you understand

When you'll never be able
To understand
The turbulence
Inside of me

And
One
In ten
Maybe one in twenty
**** it
one that doesn't exist
Understands the depth of my feeling

I'm looking for
That one

I
Stand
On the shoulders of giants
I
Reach
Even further than they could

And
One
Alone
In seven billion
Is a giant
Standing on the shoulders of giants
And even the stars aren't out of reach
To me

The stars are mine
I'll share them with you
Just follow me

I've become a one man submarine
Always diving, always diving
I'm lost at the ocean floor
The darkest part of the sea

And I know
Nothing I can say
Will let me find a beach
Let me find my peace

One time I fell in love
I fell of a cliff
I kept falling
The darkest part of me

And there is
Nothing I can say
Nothing I can change
And I've changed because of you

This one man submarine
Submerged and needing air
How can I live
How can I breathe

When nothing I can do
Can undo what I've done
No man I can be
Except what I've become

I guess if I can't love you
I have to learn to love the darkness
A one man submarine
There's always something in the water

I wrote a letter to a cliff
Because I know how it is to be the edge of the earth
It's ingrained in my mind always from experience
How one more step can lead to a fall
How one more step....
I wrote a letter a cliff and sent it via the wind

I sang a song to a mountain
Because I know how it is to rise above the world
A monument standing tall amidst the valleys
How one more step can lead to a peak
How one more step.....
I sang a song to a mountain and played it on the wind

A wrote a poem for the sky
Because I know how it is to feel endless
And then have the clouds encroach in a threatening way
How one more step through thunder and lightning
Just one more step.....
I wrote a poem for the sky on the air that I breath

Just one more step
Can lead to a peak
Can lead to a fall
A step in the rain
Can lead me to home

I'll write one thousand bad poems
If that is what it takes to write a good one
I'll have a thousand bad loves
For the same reason