Maria

Nov 2015

Rapunzoll

i swirl in van gogh.
i am charcoal stains
on blue,
a smile of barbed wire
for the painter,
i am mona lisa, true.

monet, he paints me
calm waters,
water lilies floating
in solitude,
he doesn't see
the fire sprouting
in my veins.

picasso cannot stain
my heart with colour,
magritte cannot
create a masterpiece
out of my eyes.

to be immortalized
i beg in pink
lick the brush
and paint myself
alive.

end my days
in escher,
sketch myself
out of the stairway,
into the globe.

throw myself
at deaths eye,
kiss the canvas
rotten, ******,
*pretty.

#love #poem #sad #depression #life #heart #pain #death #art #thoughts

Maria Nov 2015

Things to Remember

I'm stronger for saying goodbye.
I'm braver for holding her hand even if it felt like fire.

I'm smarter for letting you scream,
for scraping my tongue clean of your words,
for burning my face with red hot tears instead of burning out my throat.

I'm better for peeling off the scabs and calling my mother right afterward.
I'm better for throwing away the scraps.
I'm better for clenching only with empty fists and torn nails.
I'm better than this.

"...a truth so loud you can't ignore, my youth."

Nov 2015

J Valle

Icarus Reprise

His body emerged
From the deep blue ocean
Heart barely beating and
Eyes almost closed

They left him for dead.

The sun's light burned him
And its heat suffocated him
But he kept wondering
How would it feel
To touch the sun.

Once again,
Icarus rose
Towards the sun

Believing this time
Things would be different
But as long as the sun
Remains the sun
And Icarus
A blind believer
Fate won't change its course

So, once again,
Icarus fell.
And found himself
More broken
Than before.

#love #broken #sad #alone #dead #fate #icarus

Maria Oct 2015

The Art of Healing

It’s been almost a year since I cursed your name to the heavens and praised your tongue to hell.
It’s been almost a week and I still can’t admit that I was in
full control when I swung out against the wall
to feel my knuckles break;
the skin uncurling the same as the chipped paint;
my blood mixing in cherry red.

I’ve been learning that hearts don’t break like fingers;
I still jump at the sound of doors slamming;
Your words piece together in my poems.
My shuddering ribs quake with every desperate scream.
I feel out-of-body sometimes.
It was cruel; and I hate you,
but my heart still beats too hard
and my fist is bandaged.

Bruises blossom like fingerprints.
Goosebumps brush over me like open-mouthed kisses.

The stars knew all, you swore to me;
and like a child
you watched with widened eyes and flushed cheeks.
Wished on a comet for eternity.
We argued about immortality
As I would get lonely,
but you longed for silent solitude.
If we were never meant to be,
You still believed.

It still hurts,
but god,
do I love you
like the sky opening up in anguish
to torrent upon the scarred land; to flood the paradise Eden;
All of the promises bleeding out
from between my crossed fingers.

This is the best thing I've ever written.

Maria Sep 2015

Alone

His eyes glow red with hatred,
and it's the most passionate gesture you've ever shared.
Stronger than his hands, rougher than his kisses, he'll push you back again and again.

When she laughs, it's like thunder,
and you're falling from her lips like rain -
You never cared much for puddle-jumping anyways.

Everyone moves on so quickly,
but you hold on even though you're walking home alone.
Breathe in a stranger's scent at midnight, just to let go.

It doesn't work. Come here instead.

Maria Aug 2015

Don't Lose Her, Brother

As long as the kitchen tap works,
bring her a glass of water before bed when she has forgotten.
When the tap sputters,
- and oh it will -
talk through the directions to get it started up again.

The nightly water will nourish things to grow:
stars in your eyes,
oceans of confessions spilling from her mouth, leaking from the kitchen tap,
flowers in the stomach of your love.

Remember, Brother,
that all of these things are beautiful,
and even though you live in a house with a broken tap,
you have the stars and the ocean and the flowers
to love.
If the dripping drives you crazy,
let it be crazy for her.
Don't lose her over a broken kitchen tap.

My brother and his wife moved into an apartment with a broken kitchen tap.
Meh.

Maria Aug 2015

"Shh,"

some things never change,
but humans were born to bend

more than something,
leading up to nothing

find a way to hold your breath
where there was once an abundance of feeling, nothing more is left

desperate hands grabbing
for all that you can see,
but without me at your side,
some things you can't just reach

press your knees to mine
can't look me in the eye

if we can just share the silence,
then I'll let you hold my hand

when you're looking for forgiveness, you can take it out on me