I was over at the Church today
And saw a notice that was posted
There would be a Christmas sale
And by the ladies would be hosted
They didn't have a firm date set
And they weren't sure where to hold it
They barely even had a theme
But they sure knew who would host it
You'd surely think a Church event
Would be held inside the Church
But because the ladies could not agree
They were all left in the lurch.
The Church was booked right through the  1st
And the place they had to find
Would have to hold all 50 booths
To sell their wares of every kind,
They checked the ads for vacant halls
But they were already taken
Sister Eugenie "Better than you",
Said her faith was really shaken
That they would not come through this year
And the church they would let down
"We'll find a hall to hold this thing?"
"We'll tear apart this town"
Phone calls were made throughout the night
Notes and letters all were sent
Surely there was someone there
Who had a hall to rent
Without a hall there was no sense
In fact there was no reason
To start their crafts and baking bees
There was no reason for the season
They met as one and did decide
To ask the churches elders
If they could open up one day for them
By rescheduling the welders
They sat and talked and talked and sat
And lots of time was spent
But Father Reagan from the church
Said no, "And that is that"!
Time was quickly running out
When a message they were told
For Sister Eigenie "Better than you"
was left by a Mr. Gold
She called him up and let him know
Exactly what their needs were
He had exactly what they asked
Of this he could assure her
The only thing that he did ask
He had this one request
Was that his name be mentioned not.
At his families bequest.
He said he'd help them even more
And help fill up their tables
With baked goods, crafts and candles
And small models of the stables
Where Christ was born so long ago
He'd help them all he could
They all said yes to his demand
Things were looking good
They set to baking everything
Likes cookies and cream horns
Sister Eugenie "Better than you"
Made a jello "Crown of Thorns"
She was always different with
The things she baked and gave
Last Easter she spent two whole weeks
Making a Chocolate burial cave.
They did their crafts and made their things
and soon they all were ready
The big day came and the excitement
made the ladies a bit unsteady
ESpecially when they all arrived
At the address they'd been given
And there to meet them was a Man
Who said " I'm Rabbi Schiven"
This is a first for us you see
Our temple hosting Christmas
So, If we make a few mistakes
I'm sure you will forgive us
We've food prepared for you to sell
And crafts and sweaters too
I'm certain we will have the first
Christmas Bazzar run by jews.
We made some stockings too you see
By our bubbie known as Nora
There's a Star of David on One side
And on the other a Mennorrah!
Please take our gifts and go set up
And good luck on this day
And as a final parting word
Merry Christmas and OY VEY!!!

dad left
for his second tour of duty
on my third birthday

mom kept
a jar full of jelly beans
on the living room coffee table

every night
she gave me one to eat, saying
"when these jelly beans
are all eaten up,
dad will come back home"

sometimes
i would sneak another,
to help dad come home sooner

one night
the phone rang
and i watched mom
wipe away a tear
as she filled
the jar
back
up

I'm not one for religion
I believe in what I choose
I am not one to comment
on Christians, Hindus, Jews
Put your faith in something
It's not my place to say where
But, if it doesn't work the first time
Don't just leave it there
I believe there is a reason
But, I still do not know what
Things are not determined
Make the best of what you've got
I can't explain to someone
the things I do not know
And I hate religion salesmen
On TV selling faith there on their show
Having faith is something special
It's something I can't quite get
Many people talked to me
But, I don't get it yet
I have been to church to listen
And see if I find God
But, I leave still feeling empty
I feel such a silly sod
Mary, Joseph, Angels
I can put a face to these
But it doesn't give me solace
I can't drop to my knees
The last time that I went there
I sat in back beside a lad
And when the service finished
He was sitting, rather sad
He looked at me and questioned
Between some sniffles and some sneezes
If I could help him understand
About the baby cheeses !!

Don't worry it's not what you think
Another tale of woe
Of Tiny Tim and all the rest
And the ending we all know
Scrooge and ghosts and la de da
They do it in one night
But, that was Charles Dickens way
It's time we got it right
Nobody works the way they did
The poorhouses done and dusted
If Scrooge was here and lived today
You know he would be busted

So, I'll bring you up to date on this
And Scrooge can come on too
It's been a couple hundred years
Let's make this carol new

Scrooge had let Bob Cratchit go
Due to labour laws and stuff
He didn't have a union
But old Scrooge had heard enough
Every year the same old thing
And every year he cries
It's only for one day each year
At least till his kid dies
So, Scrooge was sitting home alone
Checking files on his screen
Debtors owing money and
Re runs of Mister Bean
Scrooge kept his accounts on line
So he could work on them at home
He got more done here anyway
He felt more comfortable  alone
While surfing through his evict notes
A pop up screen appeared
It said "I am The Marley Virus"
And Sir Scooge, I should be feared
Scrooge cursed the interruption
He thought the virus was a joke
But, when he tried to clear the screen
A face appeared and spoke
Right there before his rheumy eyes
His partner showed his face
Ebeneezer hit delete
But Marley held his place
I'm not a ghost like olden days
I'm a virus now you see
I've moved into the future
And Scrooge you must hear me
You will not get a visit
From three ghost like stories old
We've gone hi tech, it's apps you'll get
And your story will be told
Three icons will be on your screen
Once I have told my tale
You'll click on each of them in turn
And you'll ignore all your mail
Each application will come forth
And will take you back in time
Remember Scrooge, the end result
Could be the same as mine
But, Jacob, I'll delete them
I'll run a scan and then reboot
The reason for your being here
Will then be surely moot
Marley let a piercing howl
And he left Scrooge with his screen
The were just three icons there
Where his desktop once had been
Scrooge clicked one, it opened up
It was Christmas past for sure
A video of Scrooges life
Was playing now, and more
The background everchanging
Showing Scrooge in younger days
When greed and avarice were not
The ruler of his ways
Remember now, we're modernized
No ghosts, so all went well
Scrooge remembered all the good times
As far as I can tell
The video ran on and on
It showed Scooge when he was nice
He thought you know when all is done
I might just watch this twice
The screen went black, the music stopped
And two icons took their place
He clicked on icon number two
And he opened up it's case
Donation links appeared at first
To charities galore
But Scrooge just passed on over them
In fact he showed them to the door
He saw the files of eviction notes
And of receivables and charts
He knew that he would lose one day
And the next, would need to start
To work on all this quickly
Year end would be here soon
He'd evict all of the deadbeats
And then they'd sing a different tune
He saw pictures of Bob Cratchit
Of his family and his brood
Of their meager Christmas Dinner
And the apparent lack of food
He saw how they were happy
How just together meant so much
And beside their electric fire
He saw a tiny crutch
He watched the clip and saw the pics
And in the end it warmed his heart
But there was still another icon
And this app must play it's part
You know where this is going
So, I would drag out the tale
But, in the end all his possessions
Went on line for a huge sale
He clicked upon the icon
And all his files reappeared
And then ...right before him
Each account slowly disappeared
Written off, deleted gone
No money did they owe
The ledger had been vanquished
No balance did it show
This took almost two hours
Each entry in the wind
All accounts forgotten
All eviction notes were binned
Scrooge, we know was changed then
We heard he was a better man
But, in truth he only changed one thing
A new virus protection plan
Remember, it's the future
And corporate greed is still around
And no accounts will be forgotten
Till Scrooge is six feet in the ground
I know you know the story
You want him nicer in the end
But, if that's the way you want it
Go watch the movie once again!!!

Bill Watson was an average man
Had a wife and just one kid
He always gave top effort
At everything he did
But, one day, Bill was shaken
He was taken by surprise
By a visit from the heavens
And it was right before his eyes
Bill, went out into his backyard
And the sky lit up so bright
It could only be an angel
Come down to him that night
He looked, but couldn't make out
the shape that  came down  from the sky
He thought what was the reason
And he found no reason why
That he should get a visit
From an angel of the lord
His life was not of great importance
He was just one of the hoard
He believed and read his bible
But didn't quite live by the word
He went to church each year at Christmas
Although his sins could not be cured
But, here in his back garden
On his knees before the light
Bill Wilson confessed his sins to god
In the dark, this  Christmas night
He told the angel of his feelings
Of all the sins, of thought and deed
And he knelt there before the angel
waiting for the penance that he'd need
But, nothing broke the silence
Only Bill there in the yard
He couldn't quite make out the angel
though he tried so very hard
Then from behind the illumination
Came the word he waited for
"You've tripped the motion light, you *****"
"Now, come in and close the door!"

The old man sat in the darkness
Taking in what he could see
He smiled, although slyly
And he leaned in close to me

He said the air is different
You can taste it here abouts
Listen close to what's around you
The air is different...there's no doubt

I didn't understand him
He spoke in concepts, not in words
He talked of feeling the emotions
Of people running 'round in herds

He said, I've been here sixty years now
Seen people come and people go
I used to be the barkeep
But, then that's something that you know

I've seen Elvis and The Beatles
Seen Presidents and Kings
I've seen hearts torn all asunder
And the pain that a war brings

I saw Kennedy on that TV
That, one behind your head
I watched him drive on straight through Dallas
And moments later he was dead

This place was just dead silent
On the day that that man died
And hand to god I'll tell you
I was all torn up inside

I saw soldiers in that Vietnam
Fighting for what? I don't know
I saw them on that TV there
I watched them lining up to go

I saw them having rally's
Taunting those who had the guns
I saw them bringing back the caskets
Of the now dead, teenage sons

That TV showed me lots of stuff
It never strayed far from the news
It always shows the Tigers game
I turn it up to hear the boos

I saw King and Bobby on that set
Taken way to young
God, it would have been a different world
To see what things they might have brung

I sat back and I listened
The old man, went on a while
He waved ******* skyward
And said, two more beers ...with his smile

My life has been a good one
I've been alone, except for here
I watch the outside on that set
It was then, we got our beer

I remember back when Elvis died
He was the best back in the day
But, me I liked Sinatra
Dean Martin, Bob and Ray

There was folks in here all crying
singing songs, and holding hands
on various occassions
from Lennons death, to Bobby Sands

I never really took part
In the lives of those who came
To spend their time here with me
I only knew a few by name

My job was just to serve them
Not to be their new best friend
I guess that's why I sit here still
Watching, waiting for the end

That set has shown me good and bad
That one, behind your head
It hasn't worked for fifteen years
We got a new one in instead

It's there as a reminder
more to me, than those still here
That life is for the living
And I'm alive while I am here

He rose and turned back to me
Said, it's time for us to close
I'll be back again tomorrow
To watch more highs and maybe lows

I watched the old man shuffle
To his room, and to his bed
Past the TV he saw life on
On the wall behind my head.