i need a break
so please take me away from here
take me somewhere far

let me forget about this life
i'm in too much pain
too much to handle
i need to breathe
i need to feel free

take me somewhere beautiful
where the sun shines down on me
and take me on a car ride
on a long open road

put the top down
so i can close my eyes
and outstretch my arms like wings
taking off and flying
i will become one with the wind in my hair

take me to the ocean
and i'll catch up with the waves
tell them how much i missed them
and we'll laugh about the last time we met

take me to a field of wildflowers
where i won't be able to leave
i'll lay down right in the middle of them
and become friends with all the insects
because just like them
i love the flowers too

take me stargazing
laying in the back of a pickup truck
with millions of stars staring back at us
we'll have so many blankets and pillows
and i will wish i could be part of the sky
so much it will bring tears to my eyes
and you won't understand that
because i can't explain
it just reminds me of how much
i want to get out of this place

take me to the forest
and i'll lay right there on the ground
staring up at the trees hoping it rains
because then
i'll feel so close to where i came from

take me to an apple orchard
because i feel like i belong
and i can't really explain that one
just know i love being among the apple trees

take me to a cabin in the middle of the woods
away from the whole entire world
and show me what it's like to love me
leave your mark on me
and i will be floating

take me to a vacant playground
and watch me swing on the swingset
reminiscing about being young
sweet nostalgia
watch me touch the clouds

i just need a break
so please take me away from here
somewhere i can feel free

I hope that this doesn't last forever
and I get used to fully being alone.

I hope I forget how nice it is to be touched,
to be held, to be desired.
I hope I forget and never remember.

Because I can't do this anymore.
I sleep too much, I don't eat,
I hate the way I look (more so).

I'm jealous but bordering on envious.
I want to be what people want me to be
but I am not going to compromise what little of me I have left.

So please, if anything that has the power to help is listening....

I don't want to do this anymore.