now here's a place
i have never been
looking over the edge
seeing if i can see the bottom
dropping a pebble
to hear
the end

i don't think there is one
least-ways
i didn't hear it land
i don't want to fall down this
rabbit hole
but
the eyes staring out
from the darkness
are so...
like i know who they are

and i want to see
just how far down
i will fall
and if they will watch me
as i let go

here is a place
i have never been
so long have i lived
in the sunshine
my skin is paper thin
and the weight of my world
crushes the air from my lungs
makes me breathe out
with no hope of breathing in

here is a place
i have never been
i have no memory
of falling
tipping over the edge
i just know there is no sunshine
and my soul is struggling
to keep warm

There are times when I don’t feel enough for this world.

There are times when I feel at my lowest and it’s something... I really can’t control, and people will ask what’s wrong.

I simply don’t know and I wish I could control this emptiness I feel within me. The loneliness washes over me and I feel depressed.

Empty.

But the times I feel like I’m on top of the world and you can see my contagious smile and you can feel my great energy ... are my favorite days.

Those are the days I’m so happy to feel alive. And how I wish that feeling could last forever.

I wish I could feel this chemical high for the rest of my life.

I let my guard down
you kept yours up
slipping my questions
like Ali bob-n'-weaves through a flurry'
untouchable
Beautiful like a butterfly, but still stings like a bee
shes got a degree in kicking ***
and enough sass to harass me
painfully, playfully.

Shes a sweet pea,
who listens to indie
drinks peppermint greet tea
a spirit so free
its something to merit
you would never believe it

In the cage, shes a killer
shes no wannabe petite bourgeoisie
shell be on a killing spree
crush you like a flea, under her knee
that's a guarantee.

Shes the queen bee
ink to show it
i'm not a poet
'but a potent moment of expression
that's my confession
and so I question;
motionless, face buried in the canvas,
why did I let my guard down.

i am valuable
i am strong
i am smart
i am amazing

but i am also

worthless
weak
stupid
mediocre