To my room I feel confined.

Trapped.

A prisoner of my own mind.

Ceilings are getting taller

Sweat soaking my collar

My throat is getting smaller

I am barely able to call out her name.

I am getting smaller but my vices and flaws are not reacting the...

same.

The shame becomes too much and suddenly these made up floors turn into made up dust

and the hate I can feel it

in the back of this room.

my mind.

its calling...

these made up floors turn into dust and suddenly

I'm falling.

The pain I feel it in my ears

my mouth,

these locked doors.

I'm falling.

Suddenly there is dust all around me and I'm no longer standing on made up floors.

Suddenly.

The hurt I feel it in the boarded windows,

or...

my eyes?

The hurt I feel it like a shooting pain from wall to wall it stings my thighs.

Suddenly?

suddenly...

the floors,

the dust,

it's all lies.

and suddenly

I'm

falling.

I have been falling.

I am still falling.

How long have I been falling.

Sitting in front of TV screens at 5 years old.

Watching them dance. Watching them sing. Watching them act.

I just want to be famous.



Extra days at the bar only 10 years old.

Turn faster.

Jump higher.

Split bigger.

I just want to be famous.

Dances. Birthdays. Family dinners.

I can't I have practice. I can't I have practice. I can't I have practice.

I just want to be famous.



All nighters in the studio 15 years old.

Write faster.

Sing higher.

Perform bigger.

I just want to be famous.

Parties, tests, sports.

I can't I have to rehearse. I can't I have to rehearse. I can't I have to rehearse.

I just want to be famous.



Spending hours staring at myself in the mirror 18 years old.

Lose weight faster.

Cheekbones higher.

**** bigger.

I just want to be famous.

Dates, interviews, entry exams.

I can't I have an audition, I can't I have an audition, I can't I have an audition.

I just want to be famous.



Spend my weekends at competitions

Dance.

Perform. Smile.

I just want to be famous.



Spend my nights doing shows.

Sing.

Perform. Smile.

I just want to be famous.



Spend my breaks filming.

Act.

Perform. Smile.

I just want to be famous.



Tours at 20

Travelling the world.



Fans at 20

Inspiring people who are just like I was



Money at 20

Being paid to do what I loved





Alone at 20

No dances, no parties, no dates



Bored at 20



No birthdays, no tests, no interviews.

Finished at 20

No family dinners, no sports, no entrance exams.



Famous at 20

I just want to be happy.