It's always been hard for me to switch,
To stop what I'm doing and move on to the next thing
That I'm told to do, whether it's at home, work or even going to the grocery store.

Sometimes I sit for 20 minutes before going in somewhere.
Punctuality has been a staple for me
Even if it means sitting in my car for an hour,
I will be there on time.

I like having time in between these things to prepare
It's like I need to switch mindsets before I begin,
Sometimes 8 hours felt like a punishment.
Other times it can fly by thanks to dissociation.

A light tea before her reading
so I can focus on her words
seek out their meaning
refrain her rhythms
define her rhymes
listen for her killer lines.
A music too rich to revise.

I've seen you
Your just like the man who says to his fire
       'Why in the world
        Should I gather wood for you
        When your not even burning yet'

All I need is a friend

Sometimes I will do it all.
The hard part.
I make plans
I put myself out there

And I cancel.

Because as trapped as I feel in this little room,
As horrible as I feel right now,
I am not ready to even look at the road less traveled.

I am not ready

And I will not take a leap

Not when I keep falling.