Silky vanilla custard
(fluffier than clouds)
sweetened ever so slightly,
topped with wafer-thin
layer of hot, crisp
caramel.
Crack!

If nothing else, take comfort in the rhyme
"The world is ending", was said the last time

I was torn between
Living the life that I was used to,
Hiding behind my hair,
Being happy to go unnoticed,

And changing my life
And living to my fullest
Without a care
Of who is watching.

I've been down for so long being up feels foreign.  I've been down so long I made my way to my ancestors and acquainted with them. I've been down so long I think I need a decompression chamber because my lungs are not used to breathing freely, so used to breathing synthetically. breathe the breathes permitted at the permitted times, but now breathe freely. breathe like my ancestors wanted me too. breathe because i want to. i want to breathe. and now i can.

Puppy videos on Instagram,
snarky relatable memes,
pretty pictures pinned to my board,
filtered funny tweets.

Bashful poetry and uplifting words,
whispering truths to the cosmos,
a few shows, binge-watched,
peppy dance routines,
movies, music, art,
time-consuming scrawlings.

These are some
weapons in my arsenal,
my anti-venom
against the toxic approach
of tedious,
stifling
boredom.

I have dog senses when it comes to people's feelings. I'm very aware of people possessing pain around me. when I talk to someone resignation in pain I yield to them. because my senses can tell me the direction and the quantity of pain but never why. I never know if this person is the pain receiver or the pain sender, but sometimes pain's weight is so heavy I break to it and let my young pup heart attend to it like a vet. when identifying what pain this person posses I either prepare to fetch a solution or my number for them because maybe they just need to adopt me into their life but if they are a pain sender, I find an exit. I know how our commercials end and I'd rather choose to be Iams dog than another SPCA survivor.

Maybe the spring will offer a chance
For me to re-root and grow again
Maybe I can take this season of rebirth
And take the pain,
Turn it around into good energy.
And let my heart bloom.