I do not struggle
With the concept of trouble
I often chase it

I brush away rules
Just like a hardheaded fool
It's time I face it

Vividly aware
I stop full pace and I stare
At only a thought

Thoughts that hold the world
My small mind races and swirls
Ensnared, trapped, and caught

But I think too much
Often I spit and I cuss
Knowing I fall deep

Please try to give me
The rich bittersweet release
To finally, breathe

This **** doesn't get better
I'm not going to lie
There's just longer periods of time
Where you don't cross my mind
And I know that I'm selfish
Because I can’t let you go
But how can I
When you're all that I know
You say that I'm incomplete
And that you need someone whole
But now that you're gone
Where do I go?
I'm walking in a direction
I really can't quite see
I can’t see any of this ****
With all of this fog inside of me
You say that’s my problem
That I can think right
So now all I do is think
But I don’t think right
And I don’t think that's right
I shouldn't have put it on you
But when the shadows dance
All I think of is you
So just whisper my name
From somewhere far behind me
And I promise I'll hear you
I promise that you'll feel me
But I'll be to far gone
To come save you again
I tried to be your hero
And yet I was just your friend
You said that you loved me
Then where are you now
You said you wouldn’t leave
But when I look around
It’s just me standing here
Looking at the clouds
And I lifted you so high
But I was the one let down
So please don’t come knocking
You know I couldn't forget
And the love inside my heart
Battles with my head
It screams to let it out
But I don’t think I can
So tries to **** me
By looking like your hand
And when I try to find you
I find my demons instead
Maybe we weren't meant to be
But ******* love to pretend
My acting career
Destroyed what I feel
It twists my thoughts
And it controls how I heal
The scars have faded
But now their fresh
And I constantly feel jaded
The envy is real
As the pain subsides
I thought you were gone
But you live in my mind

Could we know hope
Without loss?
Without truth
Would all be false?
Without joy
Would we all know pain?
Questions such as these
Make life a game
Answers never found
Questions never asked
Our perceived personalities
Are our perceived masks
I'm tired of life
I'm tired of pain
But I'll continue this lie
For the sake of the game
My wounds never heal
But scars are left behind
My tears tell a story
My eyes seem to hide
Do you see my pain?
Do you know the truth?
No, you're wrong
You see what I allow you
My poker face
Wins the hand
I'm on my knees
Because I can no longer stand
You read my words
You think you know
But even these words
Can't quite show
My mind isn't quiet
My thoughts never cease
Fading away
Would cute this disease
As smiles are replaced
With the sadness that seeps in
Forgive my actions
But not my sins
No god in heaven
Can cure my sorrow
Standing on the edge
I can see my tomorrow
I see my hell
Can you see yours?
I keep mine inside
I'll never tell
For those who never knew
I'm sorry for this
But I'll continue this game
For the hell of it

Every choice I make
Has an alternate mistake
Every word I write
Tears apart my life
I can not forgive
I can not forget
I stop my hand
But my mind I never can
I am the second guess
I am just a reject
My mind plays tricks
My heart never forgets
The scars left behind
Are the obvious signs
But no one sees
Exactly what pains me
And they all fade
But the pain remains
They only see
The happy me

Love
A four letter word
What is love
Other than absurd
A question never asked
Leaves answers never found
Sets a limit
Said to be unbound
Ponder this question
For I'll only ask one time
Is your love
The same as mine?
How do you know
With only one word to describe
What it is you feel
What is on the inside
I can not explain
Nor can I show
This thing called love
Might as well be a hoax
I can't decide on what it is
I am so confused
I can't make sense of it
All I need is a clue

There's a sea
Separating me
From reality
And I reach out my hand
Even though I can no longer see land
I can hear you calling my name
But you're so far away

So I sink and I drown
And my body's never found
But my soul is still there
Living in dead air
I don't know where I am anymore
And I don't know what I'm living for
But one thing remains clear
You're still there and I'm still here

I need you and that's the truth
I don't know what I'd do without you
And I don't know where I'd be
If it was left only to me
I need you

If you think of no one think of me
Bc if it wasn't for you I don't know where I'd be
And I will never forget you
Bc I know you're the only one to see me through
I need you

From your wistful laugh to your fiery eyes
To the passion you wear on your sleeve all the time
I need you

So call my name at least one more time
And allow me to truly try to find
You
Because I. Need. You.

So apparently
Running is supposed to be
This kind thing that sets you free
Like if you have a depressed mind
It helps you free up what's inside
So I run

But when I run I feel this rage
It's like a building blinding haze
So I Sprint and I Sprint to escape it

But I black out and wake up
And I scream out and I throw up
It's not enough
But it's way too much
And I'm still on this road
It seems like the pain has infected my soul

I know they're only momentary these moments I'm living in
But I momentarily can't fathom the pain I'm in
Because the pain I'm in
Brings me to an inconclusive end
And its so unlike me to start and begin again
because I'm like the tin man
I'm frozen and rusted in place
I can't be trusted, I'm a disgrace
my credentials are crusted just to save face

Words escape my mind
And slip my lips
And I'm afraid in time
I'll lose my grip
Because I can't describe
Why I feel like this
And behind my eyes
Lie the darkest pits
And I know it's my crime
Because I'm the one who missed
Although my ways are benign
I still clenched my fists
When I say I'm fine
It's the truth I miss
Because that's a lie
And the truth is the antithesis
My mind's desire
Creates a shrouding mist
Covering my soul's fire
In which it has been quenched

a heavy heart carries the weight of more than a thousand men
and neither could foresee the path that had been set before them
and as the sky set forth a blazing road that both were scared to take
he took her hand and calmed her mind that had begun to shake

without a word he set forth the pace giving her time to try
he needed her more than words could say so he merely dried her eyes
for actions can paint a picture that the tongue is scared to say
and tomorrow he'll still be there just as he was today

but tomorrow came and he lost her hand and it came with a terrible price
for an end was sought and quickly received in which came eternal night
and though silence was found she was not and his heart did scream her name
no matter how he tried to forget he couldn't for she's the reason he came