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NLB Jun 2014
as much as i'd like to be courageous,
this fear is outrageous,
i'm filled to the brim with anxiety,
scared of the world and society.

but what makes it even harder,
is that i'm losing my only armour,
there's an intruder in my head,
it won't stop until i've bled,
and eventually dropped down dead.

i'm becoming petrified of my own mind,
this intruder is so unkind,
and with this fear,
"you can't hide this time,
you can't avoid me, dear."


nostalgic,
i used to be so brave,
oh how things can change.

*n.l.b
Kai Mar 2014
1:07 a.m.
wake up
shake

it's foreign
my legs are being clung to
i just want you to let go
it's a beg,
it's a cry for help
in the back of a black suburban
a scary place
where headlights are not used
a hand cannot be seen an inch in front of you
but somehow my body is found
and you invade
without permission
the words to shout
"Please stop"

3:34 a.m.
wake up
shake

sitting on the rotting dock
the cloth i wear
falling through
the salty rain
burns my cuts
lashed
the Norman in the yellow boots
and the white beard
retrieves my soul
he is not the gangster
who disturbed me before

4:56 a.m.
wake up
shake

powering into the church
stumbling over the invisible crutch
nothing more strange
it's a place i've rarely been
all eyes are on me
they know i am the spawn
of the heathen
but all i can do is cry
into the open arms of the church goers
and explain my long travels
and running away
the horrid torture that has reached my city

6:21 a.m.
wake up
shake

the white beat up car
holds a young mom
with her baby
who just stares at me with envy
as if i hadn't just been hurt like she
my parentals were called
and i was on my way out
something the young mom seemed
to have never seen
I had this nightmare March 29 and every time I woke up crying. I put it into words and hope to never replay it again.

— The End —