I see your name everywhere
in books
on television screens
in user names
on Facebook posts

I hear it in advertisements
for ******* toilet paper
I hear it on the street
from a random passerby
some happen to have your name
a lot of people happen to have your name
your name isn't popular
not overall though in this country
it's fallen on sharp decline since its inception
I read it on a graph...out of curiosity

your name is imprinted in my mind
i've said it so much, i've written it so much
it's automatically a suggestion on my phone
whenever I compose a message, there's your name
whenever I go to sleep, there's your name
floating viscerally in the darkness
flickering behind my eyelids
flickering in the inky nothingness

I know the shape of it in my mouth
I know the feel of it behind my teeth
on the roof of my mouth
in my throat
*
i've shouted it to you
i've moaned it to you
i've screamed it to you
i've screamed it raw and wild into the air
i've screamed it into pillows
your pillows
hotel pillows
my pillows

your name
imprinted on fabric
imprinted on air
imprinted behind my eyelids

your name
appearing everywhere
appearing cosmically
appearing universally
i ******* hate it
i ******* love you
i ******* hate your name
your name
fracturing my everything