we are like
a glass full
half of water
and most of us
want the other half
to be filled
for the feeling
of full, tight grip
breathtaking
drowning
because that
is what makes
this life complete
and for them
anything
that fills in
the vacant
empty space
it could be
apple cider
rice wine
maple syrup
rat’s blood
as long as
it fills
they are
content
and satisfied.
but for
some people
like me
the void
and cold nature
of the space
that has been
keeping us
alive
and
we cannot
be bothered
by it
at all.

For more than a year
we never met each other
and nothing turns out any
better;

it is just an illusion of time that makes us suffer.

while I am busy
stitching up the patches
you are distracted by the
marching orders.
as every single particles
seem to be the same
there is nothing for us to
blame
the lilium has died
disgusted at the idea of
having it sprinkled
all over your dress
and those kids were never
born
shamed at the thought
of me lifting them all over my
face.
I think we are just too shy
to admit that we are
desperate
desperate enough to cover
up the memories
to run away from all the
reality
and to realize
that nothing ever change
since that day.

Too many times
in our life
we have
been given
the clue
and we should
have known
that it has
no other duty
besides that
it will build
us up
or break
us down.

There is nothing
much to worry
in this life
except for
our acts
and its
consequences.

Regardless of anything
there is nothing that you can do
to avoid those feelings
even if you were
burning
choking
drowning
you are left alone reeling
at the thought of wanting
to know the truth
to know the lies
the real sabotage
the real assistance
you want to know
everything
when most of the time
you are not going to
get the answer for
everything
sometimes the universe
works in the most
inexplicable
indescribable
ways
and you wish you were
the one chosen
to break the customary
to break the molecule
but you could never
get the answer for its
authenticity
for its ridicule.

you are not going to
get the answer for
everything.
never.

you
know
that.

Too many things
happened
within a
short period
of time
while the time itself
was caught by surprise
by its own nature
by its ability
by its tendency
of delivering
sucker punch
within a
short period
of time.

What I think
what I say
and what I do
shall not be a meal
that you can indulge in
before you digest
and criticize it.

This freedom
this tiny little space
that I am able to afford
is not for you to steal, rob or breach
and I have fought through
thousand of nights and days
with nobody but myself
to gain all this.

Therefore,
I shall refrain myself
from doing things
that will inflict the process
as there is enough barbarism
in this world
without my help.

And it might be useful
for you to know that
what you think
what you say
and what you do
is something that
I am not interested in
and not something
for me to have a hand in
unless it has something
to do with me but
as you might have known
there is nothing that I can do
about it.

So,
bon appetite!

Break the door
to pieces
you own nothing
and I got just three pennies
spinning on my left index finger
as I lock myself in the thorny cage
to amaze you
but you
have drowned yourself
and it is true
I know none inside of you
but the cat has nine lives
so do I have to lick it
back and forth
just like it used to do that to you
after pushing
the brick off the wall,

well maybe
I have lost my sense
but you know that
you don't have to be that dense.

Maybe,maybe,
maybe
we are all terribly lost.

I etch your name
deep in my soul,
past the thickest
skin,
the toughest
bone,
and there is
no one
to be blamed
for that
except me.

Don't you
worry
I will be
just fine
but not like how
you want
me to be.

O' I can see that
things are much
clearer now
but somehow
I still don't like it
for your presence
is something
that I miss
seeing you move around
is pleasantly
destroying my ground
like how we have fought
and I thought
that I was an
absolute Messiah
but I was wrong.

You are the moon
that reflects the light
from the everpresent
Mata Hari
without you
my world is dark
and clueless.

Please, don't make another move,
may the constellation
soon collide
so that I can be with you
and shed the brightest light.

Forever.

Your opinions
will always
be invalid
for what I think
and what I do
I don't need
you to
justify it.

Don't waste
your time
in questioning
the way
I paint my own
land, sun, moon
sand, sea, cloud.

I can even destroy it
within a blink of yours
if I wanted to.

Everyone does it
in their own style.

Don't you think so?