“Emotionally Impregnated” was the phrase that came to mind when I tried to make sense of what had happened to me half way through listening to the song he had sent
“You know you gave me all the time Oh, did I give enough of mine?”
It was the unchangeable joining of thought and feeling that produced within me a growing emotional experience that no more asked permission to be than did any other seed and egg.
“Say you don’t know me anymore But that’s a bullet on your floor”
I have never been a reliable narrator though how many negative tests have I produced even amid ******* that imagined they were swollen nausea that persisted for days and blood that stained sheets much later than expected?
Had I just spent the last two years in an elaborate emotional pregnancy scare? Had the joining of lyrics of hungry bodies of insatiable hearts produced within me an embryo of empty hope?
Have I sabotaged my own lifeblood in a desire to force from my womb some monstrous and malformed product of what had been lifegiving friendship?
I don't think this is done yet but I needed to put it somewhere before the feeling was gone... ya'll get that right?