They all think I'm getting better
they are proud of the steps I'm taking, but they can't see that I'm taking them backwards
My thoughts are killing me. I take my meds and save them up as well. Just to be sure I tell myself
But I know I will attempt
It hurts so bad that even my body can't handle it anymore
I'm shutting down like a concerthall, the lights going off one by one
I tried to sedate myself with smoke and blood, but nothing seems to help
It's been three years since I've seen the light
and although I'm still fighting for it to come back, I know in the back of my head that it's almost an impossible task to fulfill
I'm terrified
I don't know what to do anymore and I'm alone
I'm still too scared to love, I won't let people near me
This isn't the way I planned on living my life
The play is taking all of my energy
and I don't know how to get it back

A bend between
           space and time
To search,
       to seek,
             to finally find
                  the way,
             the path,
     an answer to the end
            Something to believe
         faith in a friend
    Standing tall
         when there's no answer
                at
                   all
     Running to save the day
         when you can barely crawl
            feeling your heart crush
      under the weight
           Pushing and Pushing
        until it's too late
NEVER giving up
           Following your heart
      remembering from the start
            racing to the finish
        Learning to diminish the past
Hoping the love just might last
         through time and space
      and the bend between
           holding strong to your place
   Knowing what cannot be foreseen
        but believing anyway
           Awaiting a new day
    A reuniting with that which you've lost
          willing to pay
      Even the ultimate cost
            Praying it won't come to that
        trying to look forward
                 No longer **Looking Back