Trying to get ahead
but I can't silence all these thoughts inside of my head.
Looking everywhere for a place to reset. Get a grip.
But my demons are screaming so loud it's like I'm on a bad trip. They say god never gives us more than we can take.
But I don't know how much longer I can hold my breath
before I find myself at the bottom of the lake.
I clutch my chest gasping for air,
and with my hand on my heart,
I pray for another day; a chance to prove I deserve a new start.
I close my eyes one last time and let myself go.
The demons leave my mind, body and soul.
I feel a rush come over and open my eyes
to realize it was all a dream; I'm still alive.
Now that I made it through, my mission is clear.
I know what to do. I now have a purpose:
use my experiences to help the broken and scarred find their faith, and help them believe loving, living, fighting is not a mistake.

Let’s talk about cops shooting innocent black teenagers, woman and men...let’s talk about racial profiling....disorderly conduct..and ancestor slavery again... About 600,000 slaves were transported to America, or 5% of the 12 million slaves taken from Africa. About 310,000 of these persons were imported into the Thirteen Colonies before 1776: 40% directly and the rest from the Caribbean, but let’s not talk about religious liquidation...4,450 Jewish men woman and children are killed in Krakow ghetto from March 13 to March 16 1943....20 million murdered by Nazis in total.....families surrendered so that they can stay alive and strive but are burned and gassed alive so there’s that drive....let’s not talk about the invasion of Italy...on September 3, 1943 2,009 killed...7,050 wounded...3,501 missing...let’s not talk about the invasion of America...and the removal act of 1830....16,500 native Americans lost their lands and lives.....how about the Spanish Inquisition.... In 1478, the Catholic Monarchs began the famous Inquisition to purify Catholicism in all their territories. The Inquisition was established to act as a tribunal to identify heretics and bring them to justice....1,250 were executed...that’s 1% of 125,000 that were tried by church tribunals under the King and Queen of Spain...instead let’s repeat that I can’t breathe line...I’m not resisting....black comedians Make fun of white people....white people look around before they make fun of black people...Chinese, Russian, French so on and so forth....being rude by the way that you talk and stopping police from doing their jobs...is not making anyone on this planet think that it’s wrong to treat you like an animal....no matter what color you are...how you act and project yourself should warrant the treatment you get...let’s not forget: Joseph Stalin has 62 million Soviets and Germans under his **** count....Mao Zedong 75 million Chinese lives...so please let’s talk about all of us that strives...that climbs corporate ladders...we all bleed the same color...So All lives Matters....
-Peter T. DeSpirito