forgive me for the sound of your name rushing through my veins instead of blood it seems my minds only purpose is making sure i dont forget and im sorry if the constant ding of my below average words on your phone causes migraines, i am known for attaching myself to the nearest being with a beating heart and i have long since forgotten how to let go. i was always taught that being too dependent will get me nowhere in life but i still find my hands reaching for yours in the dark and i am sorry if you are repulsed by the thought of my inferior self lying next to yours but those thoughts occupy my head more often than not and i know that at the end of the day i will only have myself but pleasing you before pleasing me has become daily routine and when you said you felt pain, i apologized and even though i had not caused the ache i still felt it necessary to clean your wounds and stitch up your being. from thousands of miles i felt you sitting beside me and when i looked up you smiled and goodbye seemed so far away from us. please dont say goodbye. ive always been a fan of space and in your smile I see something more beautiful than the stars and space is terrifying but id gladly venture into the unknown just to see you smile, i know you have always liked adventures. sometimes i wonder what would happen during farewell but you’ve slipped under my skin, invaded my blood and seized my heart and my stomach rejects the thought. goodbye is a word that falls from my lips too often and my god when you say it my eyes cannot help but miss your presence and my ears hear your voice like the sweetest melody and i know i have nothing to fear for youve never been one for goodbyes. save goodbye for the end, because god i hope thats far away.
someday you'll wake up from a nightmare unprecedented. you'll sit up straight, gasp and stare in the darkness like it's going to swallow you whole. but then I'll mumble half asleep beside you and I'll reach out for you and say, "lay down baby, I'm here and you're okay." and you'll smile, fears gone I'll turn over, place my arms around your body that had previously been quaking. I'll hold you and kiss your neck my warmth right beside you and we'll fall asleep again.
someday I'll wake up to the smell of brewing coffee and I'll get out of bed head down to the kitchen to find you at the table a mug of tea ready for me and you with your coffee. I'll go over to the counter, spoon honey into my tea while you hug me from behind and pull me into bed again.
someday we'll wake up and lay in bed all day I'll ruffle your hair you'll slide your hands up my nightshirt and we'll stay intertwined while rain falls in sheets while we're under sheets and the rest of the world deals with the world's problems and whenever I try to get anything done you'll pull me close and I'll kiss you again.
someday they'll wake up with your hair and my eyes my nose and your smile and their little feet will stomp down to the kitchen you with your coffee me with my tea us with our pancakes and our own little family.