Flickering lights
Scrolling past image after image
Of loss, suffering
While i lay back on my bed
My life is mirage of the chaos outside
Papers strewn about my desk
An internal struggle for innovation
Ignorant of what lays beyond the cold, glass windows
A hand cast over my eyes
Shielding them from what is too painful to see
As the numbness washes over me
i stare at the ceiling
Stressing over what to do with my life
No purpose, no hope
A feeling of uselessness
Maybe i should just die
A self-centered voice cries out
No one would care
No one would notice
but what would happen?
i question
is it really better--
to live without a hint of the future to come
or to die knowing the outcome?
the idea flew away
gone away like the rain
Yet the blinds remain closed
To the outside world
Only the strobe effect of artificial lights fill the room
Shut into a enclosed space
Where only i stay
Poring over words
Their beauty
Their pain
Once, we were unable to look at a violent image
Without regurgitating
Now i can see something like that and compartmentalize it
Trap it in a box, never to be seen again
No more tears fall from my once-swollen lids
As i’ve moved on from the emotional
Towards an unforeseeable future
Dehumanized
a few years ago, many things took a wrong turn in my life. it was like murray's law that "all that can go wrong, will go wrong." i've been dealt better cards since then, but it still has an impact on me--it left me feeling dehumanized. i feel like the dehumanization of our population is very real today, so i wrote this poem based on my feelings from that single year and applied it to center around dehumanization.
