this time of compassion
my effort so small
ha   one tiny step

i am stepping out
of hatred into compassion
slowly slowly learning is

forever i stand alone
surrounded by compassion
illusion and reality

It's the old story:
Everything Becomes New
Everything Becomes Young, so cruel
is the beauty of life

which sacrifices adults
to their fault
their most grievous fault
of ageing

They still can stay, wise
and competent or not
if they give up their place
earlier than they are ready

Maybe they will then understand
that they also have jockeyed for
position in the past, and even worse
that nobody has benefited from it

so that sacrifices to youth do not exist
There are only real needs to sacrifice
the wasting ego to, and let's hope
there will be hospitable compassion

i freeze over
when i attempt to visualize giving myself
even an ounce of compassion

i would have to consider myself worthy
worthy of kindness
worthy of love
worthy of a home
worthy of life

i do not remember when i last felt i deserved compassion

it may have been when i was young
my foolish heart believed in the body for which it beat
until it broke
and broke
and broke

i am told i wear wisdom well
as if wisdom is a new coat that i tried on
instead of ancient scars under the fresh fabric

i did not choose
this

i plead with my reflection
even though we are both holding a knife
please
let me live
let me rest

but the villain lunges, slashing wildly, drawing blood
a hit
a palpable hit

Everything about you,  dealing with your pain,

and now the loss of someone so dear to you,
hinges on your continuing to move forward.
My thing is to encourage you  so that you can
keep doing what you do..   knowing that

someone so deeply believes in..
and cares about  your chosen path.

This morning was a wakeup call of the Spirit..
as to just how deeply your beautiful heart goes.
Your anger is justified  and so very understandable.
There were multiple options available.

The drugs reduced those options to just one
through the temporary confusion of the mind.

Part of your path is to become ever-more capable
of helping others that are in the process of succumbing.
An increase of true Love in the world,  

    greatly increases  all options,  
    for those who struggle
.  .

If you have saved  even one,
then you have.. within the Realms,   saved all.

You are beautiful, sweet Beloved
You are the one,  that will save that one.