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Anton Snert May 2020
Queuing at the airport the flights non-stop
Off to Benidorm  in a football top
Pants three quarter, tattooed arms
Overweight Wife with ample charms

Check-in complete & straight to the bar
It’s only 6am but they don’t care
Their duty free stuffed in to Lidl bags
*****, whisky & 400 ****

They’re now half cut & the kids start to cry
They board the plane & they sit nearby
A 2hr flight with the family from hell
Hoping they’re not staying at your hotel

You’re all on the coach now & on your way
They smell of cigarettes & body spray
He turns around in a right old state
And slurs at you ‘Where ya staying mate’?

Through gritted teeth and raw contempt
You tell him the El President
‘Same as us’ he says with pride
Stretching his pants to squeeze his gut inside

The El President has lost its charm
My wife looks forlorn as she grabs my arm
As in the lobby with kids aloft
Are 100 more slobs in their football tops..
Jenny Gordon May 2018
I really wanted to make a more secure case comparing the cardinal to those redcoats of yore, but, ah....

(sonnet #MMMMMMCxxVii)

I have a scarlet lover who, ere pale
First hints of dawn, begins to court, til thence
Smiles and soft laughter thus ensue fr'intents.
His perky voice and deep red coat avail
Long-cherished loves, as I think Brits to scale
So perfect; aye, put on the kettle hence
Tae brew a *** of rosy lea to fence
My porridge, while my cardnal'd sweetly hail.
Wee sparrows are my playmates as they stir
Such happiness as only lovers do.
If Tyler swears he loves me, Shakespeare fer
All that gives me perspective as he'd woo.
Perchance I shall be independent: your
Wish, Baby.  But then I will not need you.

And I tweeted it too...and then he sez he didn't intend that.  I love him.
there's speculation mounting
about the whereabouts of the queen
as it's been over a fortnight
since she was last publicly seen

the authoritative video channel
YouTube did say
that the regent had gone on
her heavenly paved way

Brits aren't too sure
as to her current health's category
but the BBC news reports
did broadcast a heavy cold story

if she presents at the changing of the guard
in the forecourt of Buck House
the world will know that
her well being is verily grouse

members of the royal family
are keeping mum at this juncture of time
in case Charles is called up
to be the realm's king of pantomime

— The End —