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Bardo 1d
Summertime and the holidays
I'm off to the coast
Yea! Off to the sunny seaside
Breezin' down the highway with my window wide open
The music blaring on the radio
Got my bags all packed in the back
Got my swimming trunks in, my beach towel, beach ball.... and my wonderful inflatable woman.

At the hotel I unpack, I get her out
At first she's a bit flat
She's like my very own genie in a bottle
When I uncork her,  start to pump her up  
It's then...it's then the magic starts

At first she flounders and writhes about
Then suddenly she grows bigger, she becomes *****,
  she rears up
I know what my three wishes are gonna be
With her lovely ***** salacious look  
I know what she's thinking
"Is Sargeant Sausage, is he coming out to play"
Why! You little hussey you little ****.

Big and bouncy, so pink and soft and wowzy
My wonderful wibbebly wobbly wonder girl
How I love her lovely curves, all her lovely hills and valleys
She's so pneumatic she's... she's absolutely fantastic
Great big bonging bangers 
I lose myself in her, squeeze her tightly
Like a big big balloon she carries me away from all the cares of the day...far faraway
She's incredible!  She's amazing!!  

(Careful not to bite her though , I did that once
She started to hiss, then she went off flying, farting all around the room).

I made me a tape of conversations from movies
Girls saying sweet things to their fellas,
I play it when she's there
Looking at me across the room
O!  she's so sweet, so understanding
She never criticises, is so undemanding
If only all girls could be that way.

The two of us together
Man! She's a fine bit of rubber
We make a good.... a lovely couple
Just me...me and my wonderful...my wonderful inflatable woman.
Although meant to be funny there's also a strange underlying sadness. About a yearning for some fun and some connection.
Bardo Jun 2019
I got me a Kangaroo
Lives way down in my pants
He seldom sits quiet
He'd rather get up and dance.

He goes Bo-ing! Boing! Boing!
I can't get him stopped
He's always on the go
Yea! he's always on the hop.

                     II

Well, he ain't no Dodo
He sure knows how to pogo
Even when I say no! no!
He keeps on on the go! go!
(Bit of a yo-yo)

And when he's full of vim
There's no catching him
I only hope my pants hold out
And he don't pop out.

                         III

Now how can I put forward
My Best face
When I got him down there
Bouncing all over the place.

He's up, then he's down
Then he's back up again
Up and down all day
Like a demented drawbridge.

                       IV

He goes Bo-ing! Boing! Boing!
And I go Down! Down! Down!
Whoa-aa Boy!

I go one way
While he goes the other
Man! he's tearing me asunder
I'm every which way.

My mind full of insecurities & fears
And my Kangaroo down there
He's looking up at me saying
What the hell are you doing up there.

                            V

O! what am I going to do
With my wild Kangaroo,
What am I going to do !!!
What! Get him a didgeridoo ???
(A didgeri-didgeri-doo!)

Have you got a Kangaroo
Down in your pants ?
"Ooooo! Whoo!" sang the girls
     "yes! we Dooo Whooo!!!"
What! Wait a minute, you mean...
You mean girls, they got Kangaroos too !!!
Poem about Kangaroos. But this isn't an Australian poem, that's a clue. You've heard of the birds and bees, well this is the Kangaroos in the trees. Must have been a full moon when I wrote this or a remembrance of randier days when I had the hots, my Kangaroo is quite well behaved these days.
Tee Hee Jan 2015
Tee hee, look at me!
Tight little *****, hey can you see?
Not a tan line on me!
I bask nakedly! Tee hee, tee hee!
Pay attention to me!

Tee hee hee, bikini hangin' free
Grab that thing of sunscreen oil
And rub it on freely!
Now I shine reflectively! Tee hee!

Tee hee is not just words to me
It's more a way of life, you see
Each **** that bounces bouncily
Says to the world, tee bouncy hee hee hee

So please upvote my poem, it's free
And score a point for li'l ol' me
Being so single hurts sorely!
Help a girl out, tee hee hee!
These bikini strings just won't stay tied!

— The End —