when I tell him about you...
i'm not going to lie.
i'm not going to tell him
you were a good man that wanted him
but couldn't find a way.

that would be a lie.

when I tell him about you...
i'm going to do my best to be honest
without breaking his little heart
the way I once thought you broke mine.

what would be the point?

when I tell him about you...
i will tell him about all the times
you made me feel happy, but not that
every one of those moments were dripping in guilt.

i want him to know you were good once.

i'll tell him you were in the military
i'll tell him you were a brilliant story-teller
that built beautiful intricate worlds that twisted and turned
just like our lives did when we met.

even better, i'll tell him how we met
over a D&D table surrounded by people
and how much hurt we could've avoided had we left the
friendship in the fantasy world our characters thrived in...

maybe i'll leave the nerdy bits out though...

when i tell him about you i will make sure he knows your name, i'll make sure he knows enough to paint a picture in his mind and hold on to, not to idealize but just to know. you were good once. But i hope to God he never finds you. i hope he never feels the way i do about you, full of resentment and disdain because you chose elsewhere instead of here with our son.

My son.

He deserves more than you could ever have given him anyway.

Theres a lot of parents in this world don't realize being one can be the hardest thing in life but it is the most beautiful.

there's fathers who had a plan had a dream to make her girls dreams come alive.But sometimes things start to change babies coming by bills getting high and more crazy lies. there are fathers who are dreamers with a big heart and soul planing to make a family having kids build a home but not all woman like to be a mother. Not all mothers are good not all fathers are bad we are blessed by the Lord to come alive with the help of a couple but not all couples like to last. Some fathers making babies left and right just enjoying the ride but forget there's more then getting into pants there's more then paying bills not all kids want money or fame some just want a dad to take them out for a day or a mother who would be a mother but some mothers get ******* and have to put ons mans pants and teach a boy how to be a man . One thing I've learned not all fathers are bad not all mothers are good but one thing for sure the smile of your kids there's nothing more beautiful