#asd poems on Hello Poetry

Lumin Guerrero 3d

Bubble

I'm a spectator, maybe even an occasional commenter,
But my borders limit me.
The bubble, it magnifies everything,
And shifts waves so that I see all in a different light.

It's truly beautiful,
But you have to understand how my world view and experience is different from yours.
An ant to you can be a world to me.
Often, its too much,
But you think I'm just being dramatic.

Its isolating, to be trapped within it.
I can't quite reach out to others,
So I'm always just at the border.

I graze my fingers over the surface.
Just past it, normalcy.
I'm so close
Yet so
so
far.

#autism #asd #lonely

junie Feb 24

Unlaced

Eyes glued to my unlaced shoes,
Fingers picking at the skin I lose.
Friendly chatter pierces and flows,
Through the walls where my silence grows.

I think to myself — why couldn’t I be normal?

As I step out, a thousand glares pierce through me,
Seeping into my soul, my mind, my very being.
Screeching rejection and denial of my existence,
All too familiar, yet I shiver in unwilling perseverance.

I think to myself — why couldn’t I be normal?

My feet tap on the linoleum floor,
Eyes adjusting to lights that roar.
Fists clench tight at sudden sounds,
Hair ripped out as overstimulation surrounds.

People think to themselves — why couldn’t she just be normal?

A shift in routine rewires my brain,
Lingering fears of my portrayal as disdain.
Just another “quirk” to break a beloved bond,
Maybe I’ll hide who I am so we can move on.

I think to myself — maybe I’ll try to be normal

The longer I mask, the more I ache,
From every movement I dread to fake.
It doesn’t matter how I feel,
I work, I serve, to turn the wheel.

I think to myself — how do I even be normal?

#autism #neurodivergence #asd

アラン Nov 2024

Mask

faces

pressed hard against frosted glass
face shapes, indistinct
bleached of expression
distorted by breath condensed

why choose to suffer like that
frozen to the outside of distorting glass
separated by that pane
division you refuse to submit to?

when every smile is unaware
where there are no windows on the soul
who you are a concrete set

I resonate because
on this side too
there is identity, pulse,
that quiet sense of self
pushing harder into the ice
believe some locks
can be unpicked

In 1995 I was diagnosed with Aspergers syndrome, sometimes known as "High Functioning Autism" (I hate that term as it diminishes individuals that are as bright and beautiful as anyone else, but communicate in a different paradigm). Explaining to someone with whom I had fallen in Love that I had Aspergers, she asked "What is it like?" - I struggled to answer straight away, and in the end wrote this to try to explain. It is imperfect, but I wanted to communicate not only what it is like, but why I deal with it in the way I do.

#asd #aspergers #masking

Bethany Collery Mar 2021

The Spectrum

A line to define us is what you imagine,
When you hear the words,
Autism Spectrum Disorder,
It generally happens.

You place us in order,
Based on our physical representation,
And here come the words that I must slaughter,
Before you draw this misrepresentation.

We are not,
The terms ‘high functioning’,
Or ‘low functioning’,
In fact this is actually quite impolite.
To give a more representable label,
Please use the terms,
Severe Autism,
Moderate,
Or mild.

Every autistic person,
Has a different set of strengths and needs,
So do not presume the ‘functioning’ term,
As it tends to arrange and mistreat,
Every autistic person,
Who experiences challenges,
In different versions.

With these terms,
We have created the gap between neurotypicals and the autistic on our own.
When after all,
A better understanding is all we need to be realistic,
Because we all share the same bones.

So, no two people you meet with autism,
Are categorically the same.
We are a spectrum of many beautiful colours,
And we are all here to play the same game.
There are multiple areas where we can succeed,
And just like you,
Others, where we are not so great.

- Bethany Collery -
@poetry.bethanycollery on IG

#autism #asd #spectrum #life #thoughts #real #society #equality #acceptance #disorder

Jaicob Nov 2020

Tick, Tic, Tick

"Tick, tick, tick,"
The little watch shouts.
He sits inside my pocket
And awaits me drawing him out.

Tic, tic, tic
It's time for me to rest.
Society and anxiety
Give me too much stress.

"Tick, tick, tick,"
His voice puts me to sleep.
I love his perfect rhythms-
The perfect time he keeps.

Tic, tic, tic
The second I put him away,
The vicious tics come back
I wish they wouldn't stay.

"Tick, tick, tick,"
Directly into my ear.
The only way to stay 'normal'
Is through the rhythm I hear.

Tic, tic, tic
Whenever I am stressed,
The painful tics come back
And cannot be suppressed.

"Tick, tick, tick,"
The second-hand marches on.
Enduring all his hardships,
He's rewound every dawn.

Tic, tic, tic
My fists are bruised and aching.
"What a crazy spaz"
Society's gaze is saying.

"Tick, tick, tick,"
My lovely watch proclaims.
I whisper the rhythm back;
The perfection keeps me sane.

- - -

I need my pocket watch beside me.
Though it may not seem I do.
You simply do not understand
The troubles I'm pushing through.

The terrible sounds and motions
Are so very, very draining.
The worry to always suppress,
Wears out by the day's ending.

My watch sits beside me,
Ticking as I write this
(Ticking so I don't have to),
And reading as a witness.

This poem is about how stress and anxiety often make my tics worse. I always keep a pocket watch with me, however, so I can pull it out and place it near my ear to listen to the perfect ticking noise it makes. This very unceasing rhythm is what keeps me from having a breakdown most of the time.

#asd #autism #tic #tics #clock #pocketwatch #rhythm

Jordon Rivir Aug 2020

Shortcomings

Everyone else,
Has theses “normal” kids,
They think they are special,
When mine really is,
You can’t compare or empathize,
For what I produced
From between my thighs,
Has haunted me since his diagnosis,
Believing I can help him,
But I’m foolish,
Every parent is going to need help,
I need to admit that,
I’m better than no one else.

#help #asd #asdmom #itsokay

Vellichor Aug 2020

Autism Hurts

I hate myself for talking
I inevitably do
And I wonder if you’d been so mean
If you really knew

That I would cry for hours
Hate myself for days
Stare blankly into mirrors
Until my worn eyes glazed

That for years it would haunt me
I’d replay the words I said
Your disgusted look
Tattooed inside my head

That I’d lie awake at night
Clawing at my skin
Because I hated what I knew
Was lying deep within

And I wonder if you’d been so cruel
Had you truly known
What it’s like to live with autism
How it feels to sit alone

#autism #asd #alone #lonely #regret #hatred

me Feb 2020

neurotypicals

does my "less than" title
make you better
than me?

#aspergers #disability #disabilities #asd

will Jul 2019

Puzzle Piece

I'm no puzzle piece
it's not a question
or some problem

I'm a little different
but that's not wrong
I can just be myself

I'm not part of your ideal
I shake, smile, and stutter
and get nervous alone

I'm a lover of many things
just not touching you
or being put into boxes

Sorry for posting so many ASD poems I'm just really frustrated with myself and neurotypicals. I also really hate that puzzle piece symbolism, but blue is my favorite color.

#autism #asd #thoughts