My chest is a drum, relentless and wild,
A furious rhythm, untamed, unstyled,
Each beat pounds harder, faster, loud,
Trapped in this storm, beneath its shroud.

I search for the cause, but answers evade,
Is it the stress from the choices I’ve made?
The work that piles, the dreams deferred,
Or unspoken fears, those thoughts unheard?

Affairs of the heart tug me both ways,
Promises tangled in shadowed haze,
Is it love that quickens this torrid pace,
Or fear of losing a fleeting embrace?

The future looms, uncertain, unclear,
Its whispers feed my quietest fears,
Am I walking a path that’s truly my own,
Or chasing shadows, endlessly thrown?

The coffee surges, a bitter ally,
Fuel for the sleepless nights gone awry,
Yet every sip brings a sharper sting,
Winding the gears, tightening the spring.

And then there are voices, harsh and unkind,
The toxic echoes that clutter my mind,
Their pressure a weight I can’t displace,
Adding to this frantic race.

I clutch my chest, will it to slow,
But the current runs deeper than I can know,
No breath can calm this raging tide,
No place to run, nowhere to hide.

Yet still, I seek the silence within,
A flicker of peace, where healing begins,
Though the source eludes, the fight is mine,
To reclaim this heart, to steady its time.

One breath, one moment, one step away,
From the tempest that grips me, this disarray,
I’ll find the stillness, I’ll break this chain,
And bring my heart back home again.

I tell myself, Not now, but soon,
As hours slip by and day turns to moon,
Each task a shadow, a whisper, a weight,
Pushed to the future, left for fate.

The list grows longer, a towering spire,
Each undone deed fuels the fire,
A creeping pressure, a heavy chain,
The echoes of time call out my name.

One more scroll, I plead, I stall,
As unfinished work begins to sprawl,
The walls close in, the air turns tight,
Procrastination steals my fight.

I see the path I should have tread,
The steps unwalked, the words unsaid,
Yet here I sit, in stillness bound,
With every choice, I lose more ground.

The weight of delay becomes my cage,
A storm of regret, a quiet rage,
Trapped in a cycle, I fight to break free,
But the grip of avoidance clings to me.

Still, I rise with a trembling start,
A small rebellion, a beating heart,
One task, one step, one fleeting win,
A crack of light lets hope begin.

For though the mountain looms ahead,
And doubts still whisper in my head,
Each effort, no matter how slight or small,
Chips at the fortress, crumbles the wall.

Procrastination, you won’t define,
The rhythm, the purpose, the life that’s mine,
I’ll fight your hold, though the battle is long,
With steady resolve, I’ll grow strong.

i don't play my music loud anymore

because there are too many voices screaming in my mind and i'm afraid if i listen to anything else the noise will be too much and i'll explode