Here is an apology
For each tear, every cut on your heart
And everything you feel you deserve one for
But never got.

Here is that apology which couldn’t reach you before
For your lost years, or lost months, or lost weeks
For the sound your bones make when you pull up from a non-sleep
To join another meaningless chase.
For the voice that no more chokes
On hearing, or saying, the word sorry
For your uncontrollable sobs of yesteryear
The memories of which you’ve swept under your chest
To be crushed by the burden of this same meaningless chase we know nothing about.

I cannot mend what is lost
I cannot even change what got wasted but I can hope
And I do. I hope for peace to find you and provide you with just as more strength as you need
Just more strength, as always,
Until you become your hero.
Again. Only this time more truly.

With love.

And i think you wanted me to
Wild, sleepless,unbreakable me
To kiss you so hard that all our problems vanished
But I couldn't because you were leaving
I couldn't look at you tonight
Because I was living in a certain moment that I knew i would never experience again
A moment just before we collide
The space before we close in
I love that more than what follows through
More than how you kiss me so hard it leaves bruises
More than my name leaving your trembling lips like you can't help it
Like it hurts
That moment is held with you wanting me
Not in a frantic way that makes us stumble to a bathroom stall
But in the purest form of the word
Want in a way where it feels as if you're not in control anymore
And I couldn't look at you
Because your eyes are enough to break me
And I ignore your phone calls
because last time was the last time
And I'm still holding my promise to keep your secrets
I always will
Even the ones you keep from yourself

Love is a fiction, its not the same ending for every love story, its what goes between the ending and start that fascinates me, how writers twist and turn to get to the same ending.

Depressed