Some promise are better unspoken than unkept

Let the mask fall, let this head roll.

I do not have a role in any of your poll
My soul is empty, my sides are lonely
Let the tear speak, and nought lovely

In this pain all is vain
In this plain, all is lain
No glitters, no dancers
No twisters, no lovers.

Let the mask fall, let this  head roll

Inside, beneath, nothing to scroll
My heart is cloudy, my blood is icy
Let the skin speak, and nought happy

In this hand, nothing stays
In this palm, nothing frays
No kisses, no wishes
No lilies, no worries


Let the mask fall, let the dust shine

Do not ever call me divine
I do not have a role in any of your poll
Let the mask fall, let my head roll.



April, 11, 2013

i feel scared, love
my heart hurts
love
i want to clamber into your lap,
love
the way i never did when i was two
i want to sit in your pool of warmth
and be drowned by the rough timbre of your voice
as i count down my fears and cry
because love
i am so terrified

but this world does not look familiar
and i
i'm losing sight
drowning
d r o w n i n g
in this ocean of work
a cross between my shoulder blades

a memory at my lips
scars along my wrists
i am so scared my love

and i find myself mumbling numbers
i should not
talking about deals
talking
c r a z y,
love

i am scared
and i cannot clamber into your lap
because i am no longer two
and i do not have love, love

Our trajectory was so like no other.  
so linear within it's silhouette,

gazing upon the others
                                        gravity.

We had a cycle of moments that
were like
                s
                    t
                    ­   a
                           r
                              s
Weaving between our paths, serenading
our motions entwined within the others
graces. There was nothing between us
but space, a gravity of affections.


But some times a distance can expand
                                                 in time,
Even though we once eclipsing each other.
Gazing at each other as our horizons descended
you were the gravity of my yearning for so long.

I could count the stars that shot upon our forms,
still I feel the effects, but our stars descend less often.
Maybe ours were answered previously but dreams
            
                                                   ­ only come true once.

You'll always be within my orbit, but never as
close as what gravity lingered before.
I see you, but we are just motions no longer
adjacent in the stars of our hearts.

In the dark of the moon
When our hearts and minds are in chaos
When nothing seems to be in tune
At the end it seems as if we're always gifted loss

Running after things I just don't say
This life that we're living might haunt us forever
We're burning in hell if we're dying tonight
Hate what we're feeling, at least were honest
This change could be broken the rest of our life

I was lethargic in lullabies

spotlight saturated and speechless

concaved cushions and dim lit kingdoms

fell away inside a chemical nap

I came here hoping for clarity

I found the same chaos rebranded

Imagination measured in concrete stretches

factories inspire assembly line portraits

The painters where all noble fiends

sketching skies for pleasant company

Still these habitats prove overwhelmed

exhausted figures faint from consumption

Familiar anatomy
Familiar tragedy

Calming colors on a brickwork spread

I move through their pauses

A mind full of static
A pocket full of amphetamines
Artificial antics from plus sign suitors

While supplies last the mind will not grasp the severity of such resolve

Unless it's contrived and longs for the fringe

Accommodating dust damp bunkers and fallout nooks

Temporary ploys  
Projectile toys

What savage means for elation

Reality conducts seamless sickness

primitive surgery for existing

Confusion now for these faces and graces that perpetually stream

Conclusions now for a sigh that never speaks

I woke up laughing

tripping over notions of full circle lunacy

Reminding me why I never sleep

I'm a self destructive mess.
Putting myself down
Starving myself
Because when I see myself
I feel I am not good enough
You shouldn't love me
You shouldn't care.
You shouldn't be near me
Because I am self destructive
And I will hurt you
In the process
Of hurting myself
I know I scare you
With all the things
I think badly about myself
But I didn't tell you to love me
But maybe
You can help me fix myself
Because I am a self destructive mess
And so are you
I guess that is why we work together
So perfectly