all the best things
it seems
end abruptly

a thunderstorm in summer
when the clouds suddenly disappear
spent
and the sun starts to shine

the book containing missing pages
that will never be filled
by the author
who died
peacefully
unaware
in his sleep

the sunset
falling behind the ocean
and covered by the streaming
black ink
of night

the shooting star
that you saw
disappear
before the wish
you wanted to whisper
could tumble from your lips

the song
missing the last chorus
that shattered
into a thousand pieces
of silence

the sentence
you always started
whispering
but could never finish

the phone call
that dies
in the dead of night

your birthday
lasting the swiftest
twenty four hours
why does it have to end
at 12am
(when i wasn't born at midnight?)

this poem would
too
if i were brave enough

but i'm not
so i'm ending

on you

I thought that we were tired
Of grey clouds and words
That burnt our lungs
Like smoke

I thought that we were tired
Of illusions
And ignorance
I see it all
In your eyes

It hurts less
To see the world
As painful
It hurts more
To see its beauty

Swallow the sky whole
Take it down
With a few stars

Count the heart beats
You feel through my shirt
On one hand

Kiss me
Like you don’t mean it
Smile and say how much you love me
Like you do

I can hear your honesty
Like the thunder behind
An azure sky

isn't it strange
how the heroine is blamed for her beauty
when she does not notice the jester

were it not for her beauty
he would
have not noticed her

It is infinite
The way we breathe and feel
Undefined
But inescapable

Hold out eight fingers
To trace the outline
Of my ribs
Fall on your side

The universe is
A mystery to you

But it’s far too small
For me

my heart
with you
i watch it slip
away
at your smile
the touch
of your electricity

the magnetization
of the nothingness
across from you
draws my soul
and i feel it slip
through my fingers
trickling
slowly
when you press my palm
my wrist
my lips
to your own

can you feel me
drowning
wrapped in your sure arms
it is safety
i lack
lessening
my heart

my conciousness
screams
until it becomes silent

take me
take me
it's too late
for your apology
it's too late
for me to forgive you
again
it's too late
for words
printed on a page
to be worth less
than the ones
you utter

i won't be here
when you wake up
to the illusion
of what you want me
to be

He sits, staring at the wall for hours at a time.
The paint is white, grey, cream, pink, green; peeling. Peeling in pieces, in chunks of time’s scrapings.
The way it peels reminds him of the time he scraped his knee against the raw pavement in the winter when he was seven. It reminds him of the scent of her fingers, held against his nose in the summer, after peeling the onions for their terrible dinners; she could never cook.
There is a cobweb, fine, dusty with greyness at the corner of the rain stained window, and he can see the muted silver moving from the wind the crack lets through. The sky is empty and full, slowly falling. The raindrops are letters; the raindrops are tears, making a sound against the windowpane, a sound against the roof- the sound he longs to hear, but cannot. There is only shuffling above him, the sound of water falling from the ceiling and into a metal bowl.
Tap, tap, tap.
The stirring of the ground above him would make him jealous, and if he could still feel jealousy, it would have been the reason for his insanity.
But he cannot.
And so he drowns in the darkness
Created by his mind
Created by his being.
He sits.
Staring at the wall.
Peeling.

i write letters to you
sometimes
with the stars
do you see?

i write letters to you
in the winter
with the trees
bared of their leaves
brown-black
against the white sky
do you see?

i write letters to you
ink against my skin
a tattoo against the curve of my neck
do you see?

i write letters to you
in every poem
there is at least a line
that is meant
for only you
do you see?

i write letters to you
and keep them in crumbling
books
on dusty shelves
mixing
with someone else's words
do you see?

i write letters to you
in books bound
by synthetic leather
shoved in the second drawer
beneath my mirror
do you see?

i write letters to you
and i leave them
in their envelopes
to be mailed into the fire
do you see?

i want you to read all of these parts
of me
with ash
graying
your calloused fingers

If we could be
Anything

I'd hope that
One day

We would become
Like a pane of glass
held between

The waves of the ocean
And the clouds of the sky

You could taste the salt
And I could
Drown in the rain

We could be
As indefinable
As our translucency
As the sun set

And be as proud
As the night sky
Being able to say goodbye
To the blue
Blue
And spilling
Dark watercolors

Between the patches
Of green
With the underside of brown

There are two sides
To everyone
Every story
Every us
That makes us one

Let me see
The tide and the moon's reflection
Across the roaring ink
And I swear
To let you
Caress the lightning
Behind you

I do not believe in words
Running away
And painting a picture of
Yellow and Sunday smiles

I do not want to read the words
Defining a photograph
I feel that I must know
What they say already

I am looking everywhere
For the words that will save me '
With their silence
But I cannot bare to read
Any longer

there are moths
trapped behind
the cheap plastic screens
of the atm

attracted by the light
to their demise
i watch them
swollen
crumbling
as i fill in numbers
insignificant
compared to their lives
lost

sometimes
I love you

and sometimes
I am too afraid
to

does that mean
that I don't?

It's never okay to say
Something
After you
Is it?

You let your words
Run out of you
Painted navy
And black
With some ignorance
Taint the clarity
Of oxygen

Cutting our lungs
When we try to breathe

When I say
It's not okay
You crowd me
Trying to force my ideas to surrender
Tortured by claustrophobia

Your Hate is a blanket
It's not the same
But I should let you
Get away with it
Shouldn't I?

It doesn't feel okay
My conscience gasps
And shudders
With what is left
Of my soul

But it has to be

a drag
of your cigarette
pull me in
again

cold air
biting
the warmth
of your hands
neautral
against the curve
underneath
my knee

whispered
words
pulsating
through the air

your watch
held
against my ear
time
wasting
only
to return
again

let's get out of
here
hold me
so i won't sway
hold me
so i won't stay

wrinkled hands
imprinting
minds
with their pressing fingerprints
stain our eyes

good
is not good
bad
is not bad
and war
must really mean
peace
because that is all
we are fighting for

there were things of you
that saved me
and things of you
that broke me
but it was the architecture
of your bones
that ended me
over
and over

the door
won't stop swinging
in the breeze

the water
in the kettle
whistles
while the blue
flames
dance
like the indians
did
in Peter Pan

the sky leaks
a lilac bruise
that taints
my eyes
and darkens
this empty
room

the chinese lanterns
hang
double as long
in the reflection
of the window
extending
to the trees

and i wonder
if your hand
feels like the warm patterns
of light
that they throw

i have nothing
left to say

i write these words
scrawled across
the paling sky

a tear drop
from a god
falls upon my cheek

kissing me
saving me
with sadness
it allows me to walk
away

the sound of thunder
applauding
my sad smile
will be the last thing
you see of me
cracking your sky

if one can stop
loving
then i think
i just have

You tell me
That you are tired
Of love poems
Bruising your eyes
Making you long
For something
Unfathomable

Yet you still look
At yourself
In the mirror

It was so easy
When we were alone

The lights would lie
Like bright shadows
Stained pink
At the horizon
Heavy in the sky

You would hold me
To you
Watching my thoughts
Flicker
While I would feel your heart beat
Behind me
Slow

When you spoke
You read
Of a fairy tale
With the only ending
We could imagine
Happy
It was what we had been taught

We were happy alone
You were happy with me
I was sad with you
But they cancelled each other out
A little bit
Scraped apart
It made us
It made us
Who we were

When we were alone
You had me
Almost all of me
Convinced that there were only two to a world

There are not
There is a much greater number
One

i watch the world end
watching you fade away
like the summer sky
just before the night

you disappear
slowly
suddenly
pressing me
against your chest

i hold
something heavy
and cool
against his head

his eyes covered
with satin
disillusionment

spinning
click
and stop

words
burning
my fingertips
unspoken
like bullets
whole
and warm
pressed with my fingerprints
in the chamber

shaking
wrists
trembling lips

i take it
away
because i can't say
it

how afraid we are
of things unsaid
and things
that are said too soon

if only silence
would compensate
for either

be the fence
separating the lush green
from the left
and the lush green
from the right

alas
it is the left
seen to be grey
by the one
who always
drowns in it

you can't  
use someone else's answers
for your own questions

you fall in love
with the way your fingers
run through
my tangled hair

you fall in love
with how the skin
against my jaw
feels against your thumb
when you turn me
to face you

you fall in love
with the green
of my eyes-
like the sea
when it's lonely-
with the grey of my eyes-
like the sky
before it cries-
with the blue-
the second colour
of my every bruise

you fall in love
with the mystery
hidden behind
pale lips-
slowly
like the way you smile

you fall in love
with the shape of my legs
and plane
of my stomach-
i often
say no
thank you
(i am starving)

you fall in love
with my mind
like a puzzle
you can't get enough  of
(when you eventually
put me together
you will find
a piece
missing)

you fall in love
with my heart
kind words
flowing like a river
warm
like the sun in winter

you fall in love
with my thirst
for words

will you be there
when i comb the knots
out of my hair?

will you be there
when my jaw
is too obstinate
to move?

will you be there
when my eyes are closed
(or can't)
or when they act
like a thunderstorm
in summer?

will you be there
when you've gotten up
after falling
quickly?

will you be there
when i can't move
or after i say
yes
again?

will you be there
after the puzzle
becomes shuffled?

will you be there
when my heart
freezes over
for a day
and nothing
(anger
if anything)
and covers
my moving
river?

say no
so that
you mean yes

k.d

and all
i could think of
in that very moment
was how sunlight
could still choose
whose skin
to stain
like a crack
in the night sky

and how it chose
a liar's

Won't you hold my hand
We can play hopscotch
Across the cracking pavement
And write poetry
With the chalk
When we're done

You can kiss me
Under the flickering street light
If you think it's okay
And then dance slowly
To the music
The echo of the strings
Pulling up the moon
Makes

We can stop
When it gets too cold
And you can light another cigarette
Because I know you like the smell
Of smoke in my hair
And I love the way
The tip
Lights up
When you inhale
The pause
Between our words

the paleness
of my skin
makes me
want to cry
on Tuesdays

lie with me
in the sunlight
and stain me
with your gaze
on every other day

except for Sunday

on Sunday
hold me
under crumpled covers

and listen to the rain

everyone says
that it's the lack
of sleep
that brings bruises
around our eyes

but really
we get the dark rings
from our thoughts
punching us
in the face

Clouds reveal their bruises
When the lightning strikes
Away from your shadow
Beneath the tree
It cracks and falls
Echoing your heart
And I don't want anymore

What if the last words we spoke
Are left like a shadow
Above our still lips
Our absent lips

And others
Of us
Stumble upon them
In their morbidity
In their peace
And scrawl them
Onto pages
With a trembling pen
In trembling  hands

Drowning
With the sorrow of your shadowed
Words
Hung still
For eternity

do you like the way
your emptiness feels

fingertips
tracing
fragile glass jars
empty
on the windowsill

your eyes look at me
from them
empty
like the echo
of what you thought
empty like my heart

the question
hangs between us
and i nod my head
yes
before i can shake it
no

There was a girl
Who used to
Think that you were
The moon
And she would bow down
At your feet

She found out
That you were
Really
A star
That had disappeared
Centuries
Ago

I want to be awoken
By a dream
At two in the morning
And miss him
So hard
That my entire
Body aches

I want to see him
In the street
Plagued by illusions
Over and over
Until I start to lose my mind

I want to write him love letters
That I send
Or keep in a box
Always ending in
‘I love you’

I want to cry
At the sound of his voice
When he can’t stand being apart from me
And I want to cry again
When he hangs up
(He can’t bare to hear
The sound of my voice)

I want to ponder life
With
And without him
At the edge of a cliff
As I walk into the tide

I want to love him
Forever
And jump
When you touch me
In a way he used to

I want to write poems about him
And read all the letters he sent me
When we were happy
And when we were sad
And when he was angry
And try find the secret
That was screamed
At the both of us
That made everything
Not enough

I want to feel his feelings
Across a room
And leave because it hurts too much to stay

I want to learn
About him
And people
But mostly about me
When he’s gone

I want my heart to be broken
By a love
That really matters

he wrote me a letter
that was shaped
like a swan
and i held it to my lips
before i pressed it
between the pages
of my favourite book

it keeps turning everything
into feathers
that chase my soul
from the ceiling
colliding softly
with each other

I am too tired
To count the words
I meant
On my fingers

Instead
I will lean across the bed
To you
Where you are staring
Blankly
At the white wall

And you will cup my chin
Absently
As you light the cigarette
Hanging
From my
Red lips

Your grey eyes
Will stay there
Like the smoke
I breathe into the sky

And it won't be enough
To write
Or sleep
Or make your version
Of love

But it will be okay
Like you say

Because having enough
Is never enough

Anyway

what if you were empty
and i was empty too

and we lay together
for just one night
underneath a cracking sky?

swollen raindrops
would fall
and land on our smooth skin

you would lose the bet
that i thought i would win
and i'd whisper to you
my greatest secrets
and all my fears
and you would murmur
to me under a falling star
your own

and it would be enough
that one night
wouldn't it be?
it would be worth an infinity
because time
is just an illusion
and just one night
twelve hours
is forever
to me
when it's with you

Fingers, gentle
Fan over my skin
Caressing
Fragility
Your eyes close
At the steadiness
Of my pulse

Beauty
Hidden away
I wish
My heart
Would race
Like an echo
Of your own

It stills
When your lips
Crash
Against mine
Ravaging
I wish that I couldn't breathe
I feel your eyes
Burning
From across the room
Your breath
Hitching
As I come near

Why can't I feel,
Star of the Clouds,
When I want so badly
To be able to